Here’s the latest trailer for Iron Man 3, which actually isn’t that far off with a release date of May 4th. It’s intriguing not so much because it’s a third Iron Man, but because it’s directed by Shane Black, previously the director of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and the writer of a bunch of awesome 80s/early 90s movies like Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout, and The Long Kiss Goodnight. Oh, and uh... Monster Squad.
I believe it was Geektress who first said Daniel Day-Lewis is less impressive when you consider that Robert Downey Jr. has been in character as Tony Stark for the past 10 years. And in the latest trailer, we see Iron Man continue to be the Entourage of superhero movies, only with more action and more of Ben Kingsley doing his weird accent as The Mandarin. The Mandarin may not be Chinese anymore, but he’s still weird! Oh, but it’s not all Audis and pool parties, because Tony Stark is conflicted. All full of angst and heartache and regret. His problem is that… uh… he loves… Gwyneth Paltrow… too much… or something. I dunno, man. Writing the smartest, richest, most famous superhero in the world and then having the plot hinge on him being hung up on Gwyneth Paltrow seems like a basic story flaw. Personally, I like my superhero movies like I like my wrestling tournaments, homoerotic and full of spandex.
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might that be a glimpse of the Hulk Buster armor?
I think that’s Firepower the villain that all those iron man droids are there to fight.
Its def Hulk Buster esc
If only he had some superhero friends that he could ask to help him.
You can’t go calling for help every time some super villain tries to kill you. You lose all your street cred.
I want it inside me.
Shane Black was also part of the Spec Ops team that got “thrown into a meat grinder” in Predator. He played Hawkins. When I was 12 and I first realized that the guy who wrote Lethal Weapon was also in Predator and got skinned alive, my head nearly exploded.
Instead, I just went down to my room and fapped to Kathy Ireland pictures in the SI swimsuit issue.
I especially like the Mandarin’s Jame Gumb moment near the end.
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Yes it does look like the Hulk Buster armor and whilst I want to be the first to say wow. I also want to be the first to say Ew, Gwynyth Paltrow in a bra, just nope. Nope, nope, nope. This might be the first time I’ve said this, but cover the fuck up bitch.
Writing the smartest, richest, most famous superhero in the world and then having the plot hinge on him being hung up on Gwyneth Paltrow seems like a basic story flaw.
Writing the smartest, richest, most famous superhero in the world and then having the plot hinge on him being hung up on Maggie Gyllenhaal seems like a basic story flaw.
There, fixed it.
BOO YEAH!
Kind of takes that one down a notch.
I love TDK but every time The Joker calls that Turtle girl beautiful my suspension of disbelief is shattered. I mean can I believe there is a vigilante dressed in a bat suit fighting a psycho clown? Yes. Maggie the turtle beautiful? Nope. At least Paltrow looks good in the Iron Man movies as much as I dislike her.
Maggie Gyllenhaal is not a terrible person, Gwyneth Paltrow is an entitled, spoiled, narcissistic talentless human being. She has never added anything to a movie she was in. I keep expecting her to roll her eyes at Downey.
I prefer to think of it more of as Joker being facetious.
but what about Sliding Doors, that was pretty provocative thanks to her performance. or Duets?
I just imagine Heath looking into her face and seeing her brother and boom! Wants to put it in her butt.
Iron Man has nards?
Tony Stark has the biggest! Just ask him.
I did but instead he just told me an off color joke about Pepper’s vagina being as big as a house.
Hey, which one of you commenters is a fat bald guy in an LA suburb with at least one gay son?
Watch it! ‘The Monster Squad’ f*cking rocks!
Dude over at IHC brought up a good point.
If he’s so keen to protect Pepper, whyn’t she have her own suit? He said his wife would divorce him in a hot second if he had those suits and didn’t make her one.
My wife would literally geld me if I had all those suits and didn’t make her one.
These are the kinds of things that they need to update comic books over, tbh.
*puts on nerd glasses
In the comic books, Pepper does have her own suit. Metal boob cups and all.
*removes nerd glasses
What’s a woman going to do with an Iron Man suit, burn my my eggs and toast in the morning?
@BlackToonGrin – Then I have no idea what their excuse is in this movie.
@silance – 2006 called. They want their meme back.
@Mechakisc – 2006 called and said Iron Man came out in 2008. And Paltrow already said she’d get a suit in 3.
But how would 2006 KNOW that?!
Google reverse cache, dur.
Any one else pop a boner when they saw the Hulk Buster Suit? Just me? Ok.
No, you’re the only one to hulk-out, so to speak.
(I call mine “hulk” too.)
I like using those Hulk-hands to jerk off, makes me look proportional.
Iron Man 2 was pretty lame, but this kinda got my Iron Boner going again. Shane Black looks like a great decision.
If loving Gwynetth Paltrow too much is wrong I don’t want to be right.
*secure enough in manhood to be the pretty one in the relationship*
And the nice one! And the talented one!
awwwwwwww c’mon, she’s pretty.
She’s certainly tougher than her husband.
I’d muck about between them gams.
From the banner pic I’m assuming Stark got a job at Fox News.
Then he’d have to make a suit for Rupert Murdoch. They could call it the Iron Lung.
Roger Ailes’ suit would be called the Iron Sphincter.
Paltrow’s cloying celebutard personality is grating as hell, but on looks alone she’s not unattractive. Just sayin’.
wait wait wait guys so what you’re saying is that there could be a Hulk Iron Man in this movie? My body is not ready for that
Extremis plotline or no?
Shane Black wrote Last Action Hero too. I really like that movie.
Sorry but that wasn’t Hulk Buster Armor… that was Michael Bay’s version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
…aka GAY
Maybe the plot twist is Tony uncovering that Pepper is really a translucent deep sea leech. Which explains why she sucks the fun and life out of everything.
If Gwyneth played Pepper while channeling Margot Tenenbaum, she’d be way hotter.