From my “paparazzi pictures juxtaposed with fan art wallpapers” series
Even after Get Smart, Dark Shadows, Bewitched, etc., the prevailing attitude of “why take a risk on something new when we can adapt TV shows no one under 50 remembers” still appears to be going strong in Hollywood. Today’s news is that Tom Cruise is eyeing Guy Ritchie’s uncle. I mean, eyeing the lead in The Man from U.N.C.L.E., to be directed by Guy Ritchie. In other news, Firefox still doesn’t think “eyeing” is a real word, but tell that to the trades.
I’m hearing that Tom Cruise is in early talks to star in the film that will be directed by Sherlock Holmes helmer Guy Ritchie. The original TV series ran from 1964-68, with Robert Vaughan and David McCallum playing Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin, two agents of the United Network Command for Law Enforcement. [With some initial involvement from James Bond creator Ian Fleming -Ed.] With gadgets and their wits and charm, they fought the evil forces of Thrush. Warner Bros has long been high on the project, especially when the studio had Steven Soderbergh ready to direct George Clooney in the lead. The actor dropped out because he needed surgery on his neck and back, and he wasn’t up for a physical role. [Deadline]
So… a Cold War-ish version of Sherlock Holmes, basically? I’m not that familiar with Man from UNCLE, but especially with Guy Ritchie directing, you’d expect the modern version to have elements of wit and humor. Good luck with that, because Tom Cruise is no Robert Downey Jr. Cruise is good at “intense” and “driven” and especially “sociopath” (as in Magnolia and Collateral, his best roles), but he’s never been particularly witty or charming. Meanwhile, Robert Downey Jr. seems to spend his entire life perpetually in that peak of a cocaine high where everything you do is f*cking awesome because you’re the coolest guy in the world and everyone knows it. Sherlock Holmes was okay, but I hope Guy Ritchie goes back to making real movies soon, because I feel like I’ve already seen Man from UNCLE 17 times. At the very least, I hope they throw in a bulldog sidekick like they did in Sherlock. Secret Agent movies = played out. Dog Sidekicks = timeless.
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YOU’RE GLIB, VINCE. YOU DON’T KNOW THE HISTORY OF UNNECESSARY REMAKES THAT NOBODY WANTS. TOM DOES.
…but he’s never been particularly witty or charming
I know you gotta pay those bills, Vince – and page clicks are as good as gold in this work-a-day internet world of ours- but GD it! You rile these Tom Cruise supporters up too much and you’ll wake up attached to a thetan machine with a dart in your neck. I don’t wanna see you go out like that, Mancini
And Tom is funny. Just not intentionally.
See also, Patton Oswalt’s Jerry Maguire story.
Yer crazy. Man from X.E.N.U. will be awesome! Fire up the volcano.
Tom does have experience fighting the evil forces of “Thrust.”
I had a bulldog sidekick for a while. He barked every time he saw a dog on TV. Other than that he was cool.
Some of the Mission Impossible movies were good, and nobody gave a fraction of a fuck about that source material either. So maybe with the Uncle.
I remember loving Collateral when it came out. I recently saw it on cable and holy shit, does it take a dump at the end.
Reaction Shot Bulldog! I was worried he had gone the way of Blowjob Stacey (RIP). So glad to see him back.
Vince remember on one of the FCs when you said that you don’t really like bulldogs? Sup with that?
I met Halpern’s bulldog and have reversed myself a bit. I like all dogs (except dachsunds, which are assholes), bulldogs just seemed a little more drooly and misshapen-headed than I’d prefer. I’m a German Shepherd/lab/retriever/corgi/rott kind of guy, myself.
Ha yeah that’s fair. I’m basically with you, but the first dog I remember playing with when I was little was a bulldog, so I think I’ll always have a soft spot for them. But they’re so inbred and disease-prone (which cause the drooly, smushed-headedness) that it’s hard to keep liking them/supporting their continued breeding. Sort of like football and concussions.
Also sorry for my insensitive comment about your dog last week. I legitimately had only listened to the first half of the ‘cast, and if I’d heard the rest I never would’ve said that, especially with such poor phrasing.
Re: your favorite breeds, I actually saw a rott/daschund mix walking around an outdoor mall once. It was up for adoption so they were showing it off, and it looked exactly like you would imagine a rottweiler molded into a weiner dog body would. It was kind of surreal.
“The evil forces of Thrush.” Surely this is more Lena Dunham territory. A Cruise-Dunham team up. Box Office Gold.