I think the prospect of a third Hangover sounds awful to most people, but... are they literally going to blow up Vegas in this one? Dammit, poster, this has me intrigued. And with the flaming cityscape in the background, all it would take is a new subtitle and Steven Seagal standing in the foreground with a katana to make this a perfect Steven Seagal poster. The Hangover 3: On Deadly Vengeance, starring Steven Seagal as Lt. Sergei Hangover.
I don't think "Abstraction" was meant to describe the amount of Photoshop on the main face there, but it fits. Also, is that Eric Roberts down there with the glasses and the gun? Because it kind of looks like Andy Dick. He puts the bangs in "bang bang."
I'll admit I have almost zero interest in horror/slasher movies (unless they're funny), but I'm impressed with any horror movie that doesn't appear to be about a haunted house, an exorcism, or a creepy little kid. In fact, this one seems to be about a nice lady named Mary who bakes cakes or something.
Well now I want to know who James Booker is, so that seems like a success. And where I can get one of those badass eye patches with the star on it? That thing's almost as cool as having two working eyes.
Jeez, another documentary about a guy named "James?" I mean hasn't this been done? Har har. Anyway, I like that they put the title over his crotch, as if "big joy" didn't already sound enough like a penis euphemism. Must be nice.
If my penis was a movie, it'd be Tiny Furniture. Because you can sit on-- okay, I think you get it.
"Blut verlangt blut" translates to "blood demands blood", but I think the more important question is why their car appears to be wrapped in cellophane. Is that why he wants vengeance? That's not a bad idea. I'd love to see a hard-boiled revenge thriller about a guy who retaliates for the cellphone-around-the-car prank by leaving an upper decker in the toilet tank.
"In a game divided by color..."
As far as you may think we've come, Major League Baseball is STILL largely divided by color. Every game you turn on, it seems like one team's wearing red and white, and the other's wearing green and yellow or something. It's disgusting. When will we learn?
I can't decide what's more distracting, their weirdly photoshopped heads, or his super-bright tie. "And if it weren't for his wife, he would never have had the idea to play baseball."
Dude just really likes blue, I guess.
I promised you a first look at Harrison Ford in Anchorman 2, didn't I? Okay, so I didn't promise it was going to be a good look. He doesn't even look very seventies (referring here to the period setting, not Harrison Ford's age). No word yet on his character's name, but I think it's even money between Teak Frenchwater and Herb Roflcopter.
I like that they couldn't find enough black greedy lying bastards so they just used Clarence Thomas twice.
Behold, the laziest poster concept ever for the laziest movie concept ever. Ha, boys, am I right? Always refusing to grow up and acting lovably immature, while their big-titted wives stand around going "Boys! Am I right?" Boys! The one thing you can count on boys to do is be boys. Death, taxes, and boys being boys while their big-titted wives roll their eyes. Those are the only constants in this crazy mixed up world of ours.
FUTURE CLOTHES! I'm excited to see this new Hunger Games movie focus more on the future clothes and the future hair than on the shakily-filmed, unexplained references to a book I haven't read like the first one. And of course I have my fingers crossed for MORE FUTUREBEARD.
Oh hell yeah, Woody, lookin' good. That's a sweet ass look for you. You can definitely pick up high school chicks in that kind of outfit. And look at all those slots in the lapel! With all those lapel slots, you can collect boutineers from all the different proms you crash! You can just go around to proms deflowering people.
Lenny Kravitz's blue guyliner was one of the highlights of the original, but I have to say, Lenny Kravitz dresses way more futuristically in real life.
FUTUREDRESS.
FUTUREPANTS. Wait, is that a... FUTUREKNOT.
Uh, I'm here for the Iron Man gangbang?
Didn't Gwyneth Paltrow have different hair in the last one? And a different face?
How can I reach these keeds?!
Anyway, I'm sure this will be good. I mean, if pressplus1.com likes it, it has to be, right?
So God has a rock band, and all his groupies are pregnant. I guess that makes sense.
The Stories We Tell is a documentary from Sarah Polley, who once upon a time starred in the underrated Tarantino ripoff Go, and has since become the indie-world darling director of Take This Waltz. There are a lot of people I respect who loved that movie, but I got five minutes in and heard Michelle Williams say "my phobia is that I'm afraid of being afraid" and I almost threw my TV out the window. Note to all indie filmmakers: finding a way to accept and explore neuroses = good. Inventing and exaggerating neuroses as a way to seem like a tortured, complex little flower of an artist = f*cking insufferable.
There's a lot to talk about in this poster, but all I can focus on is Cary Elwes' facial expression. It looks like he just tried to hold in a fart on the subway and failed.
See those ripples on the water? That means there's a gentle breeze blowing. Terrence Malick don't film without no gentle breeze.
Ohhh, I get it, it's a snail, who wants to be fast. Also, do we really need cutesy spellings when we're dealing with movies aimed at little kids? They're already dumb enough without you trying to confuse them.
Here's a poster for Vehicle 19, which stars Paul Walker and a minivan crashing through a window. It makes perfect sense that people who want to see a car crash would want to watch Paul Walker act.
Simple, effective imagery. And it's true, I do always lie to stranger. You think I'm going to give my real name to that Starbucks barista? He keeps calling me "bro" like he wants us to hang out.
Wait, are they trying to imply that people playing games with a 12-sided die lack social skills? No, that can't be right. I'm gonna need a second opinion on this.
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Bro that is clearly a 20 sided die or ‘D20′. *shoves self into locker*
I mean… it even has “15″ printed clearly on it. I expect more attention to detail from the blog that covers Terrance Howard’s hats and poop transplants in such depth. DON’T TEMPT ME TO TAKE MY CLICKS ELSEWHERE, SIR!
Then that means we’re all in the clear!
Gamers who use 12-sided dice= loser virgins
Gamers who use 20-sided dice= pussy magnets
Damn right Hobo. Damn right.
4-sided die or GTFO
I dont even know what a 4 sided die is
Obviously a four-sided die is a tetrahedron. It’s like kids don’t even learn their platonic solids in school anymore.
This thread is giving me -1 Intelligence, +1 Wisdom
Vince clearly rolled minimum intelligence. (*snicker* *wipe nose on sleeve* *draw bigger boobs on twelfth level female cleric*)
Ha I almost spilled my beer at “How can I reach these keeds?!”. Just saw that episode on netflix.
His name would be Han Ova because Segal never plays a white guy.
Also what’s the marketing stragety for 42? Because its about race they are exaggerating the blue? Is that what they think racists mean when they say they don’t like colors? I don’t understand!
Blut Verlangt Blut…from the Producers of Chicken Run
I sat through all of TAKE THIS WALTZ because the other half had bought it on Bluray on a whim and it looked like a chick-flick. That film made me angrier than KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL cornholing TRANSFORMERS 2 while BATTLESHIP wanked in a corner.
The plot of the film is that if your husband is nice and thoughtful and caring and puts up with your constant fucking insane mood-swings but doesn’t answer your winsome bullshit hipster questions about life in the correct way, you will go off and fuck the neighbour and move in with him and never think about your husband ever again. Seriously, there is a montage of her sexual discovery that uses bullet time put to the Len Cohen song of the title involving three ways with both dudes and chicks. It is a film made specifically for people who ride fixed wheel bikes and think vinyl sounds better than mp3. What I’m saying is – CUNTS.
You do get to see Sarah Silverman’s bush, though, so if you’re into that kind of thing… And I don’t mean vagina, I mean her bush. It’s like Terry Waite’s allotment down there.
Plus, the male lead in it was a rickshaw driver! A fucking rickshaw driver! And no one even noticed, they just kind of assumed it was a normal career like insurance salesman or lawyer.
Plus, he lived in Canada! A Canadian rickshaw driver!
It was like forced, quirky, indie overload and Michele Williams’ character was completely obnoxious.
I hated, hated, hated that movie.
I counted FOUR Clarence Thomas’. Should have gone with OJ.
I count 5 Clarence Thomas’ so clearly you are less racist than me.
It’s 5 Clarence “Thomi”, by the way.
Seagal’s name in this one is actually Rico Doucharelli.
Pretty sure Vegas won’t burn down seeing has how the Hangover poster is just a play on the poster of the final Harry Potter flick.
[www.comingsoon.net]
When I go see Catching Fire and Kravitz appears onscreen, I expect to be showered with accolades when I stand up and shout “CIN CINNA! WHO’S GOT THE KEYS TO MY BEAMER?”
“James Mewes”
Really? Is that what he goes by now when he doesn’t star in a role that mostly involves weed and masturbation jokes?
The faded print and big vertical crease on To the Wonder poster makes it look like a poster that’s been on the side of a bus shelter for three months.
I’m just glad all the WHY IS CINNA AND RUE BLACK OMGZZZZ was played out during the release of the first one. So now we can move on and all hate the movie as one.
Well, you see, Lenny Kravitz’s character is supposed to look more normal and less flamboyant than the rest of the residents of the Capit–….
Oh, right, y’all don’t care.
I thought Cristiàn from Project Runway would have made a great Cinna.
These guys still get hungover!? Haven’t they learned to rotate water into their drinking and take ibuprofen before bedtime? I’ll watch anything with Leslie Chow.
Here we go again…again
I think “Go” bucks the trend of “bad movies = time capsules” in that it’s a legit good flick, but GODDAMN is it the most 90′s movie ever.
I thought Gweneth was Kirsten Dunst for a second in that Iron Man poster—I also thought Carey Elwes was a very heavily photoshopped Nick Nolte. Damn that dude did not age well.
Holy shit, so I wasn’t the only one that kept searching for Cary in that poster?
Psh, I’d grow up for Selma Hayek; if you know what I’m sayin’. What’s up? What’s up? This guy? He knows what I’m talkin’ bout.
I can’t even begin to think of where to begin on all of this. For one thing, the Jackie Robinson movie is starting to slip as far as I can tell. We know it’s going to be soppy, but please keep it real too. Now it’s starting to look like this will not make the classics lists and that is too bad.
I wonder if he nearly gives up, before overcoming adversity and showing those white folk that black people deserve a chance, though?
If this movie doesn’t have at least 3 slow-claps I will eat every single one of Vince’s bad puns.
James Booker looks like its about the life of an ex adult movie star who becomes a cult leader.
Gywneth Paltrow or early Teri Garr?
Oh man, Christopher Monckton in that greedy lying bastards poster is identical to late fromer argentinian president nestor kirchner.
If Turbo doesn’t have Ozone in it I’m out.
oh i get it, all you’ve got are dumb jokes about different colors and your dick. yeah, okay.
oh so that dude form Key & Peele is gonna be in Hunger games now?
Vince, you didn’t know Jackie Robinson (aka J-Loc, aka Fo’ Deuce, aka Jack and Robbin’, Son) was an OG crip?
You better recognize, cuz.
*Runs in covered in viscous fluid* “I’ve seen the future. We must protect any moderately comfortable chairs.”
Is that Christopher Plummer in costume on “The Source Family”? God I hope so, he is a boss. (Also, as a Canadian I have to say he’s a National Treasure, it’s in our social contract).
Wasn’t Sarah Polley the female protagonist in the Dawn of the Dead remake?
Yep. And she parlayed that oppurtunity into become yet another indie director with a burning desire to tell stories about people I cant relate to. .
Thanks, Zack Snyder!
Judging from the poster for Grown-Ups 2, it looks like Rob Schneider had the good sense to sit this one out. Either that, or the Devil already came to claim what’s his.
The term you are looking for is “phobophobia.” The fear of fear.
American Mary looks like the female sequel to American Psycho.
Eric Roberts plays Andy Dick in a movie based on an Andy Dick dream.