I’ve watched the new trailer for Generation Um…, starring Keanu Reeves, several times now, and I’m still not really sure what it’s about, so I’ll direct you to this plot synopsis for help:
“Generation Um…” follows a day in the life of John and his two beautiful cohorts as they live life on the fringe, immersed in sex, drugs and indecision. As they navigate their daily routine of bars, crowds and New York City living, they embark on a path of self-discovery.
And that sounds pretty great, because I think most of us would love to have two beautiful cohorts, whether for doing drugs and making sex around a giant city or simply rubbing a dude’s feet while he slaps together terrible photoshops.
But as I watched the trailer, one question jumped out at me:
“How old are you?”
Seriously, how old is Keanu Reeves?
His bio says that he’s 48-years old, but I call BS on that, because he looks fantastic. As someone who just landed his first crow’s foot, I’d love to know what it takes to age that well. Is it vitamins and exercise? Placenta smoothies? Smegma shakes? Stem cell butt chugging?
Because while the whole “Keanu is Immortal” thing was great for a joke, I’m starting to think it might be serious. Keanu might be a vampire, folks.
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Is that rumour that he gave away $50mill of his Matrix money true?
Coz if it is it makes him the coolest cat in Hollywood. Aswell as IMMORTAL.
I’m pretty sure it’s true, I’ve read about it on multiple sites, which included quotes from him.
So its Sex, Lies & Videotape for people who dont remember Sex, Lies & Videotape?
I thought it sounded like a less depressing version of “Girls”.
Wait, you mean this isn’t a Heath Ledger biopic?
No offense to Keanu, whom I love, but I don’t think his co-stars are from the same generation as him. Adelaide Clemens is young enough to be his daughter. Still, it looks like he has more fun in that 2 minute trailer than I have had in 12 years in NYC.
Hell, she was born the year Bill & Ted came out
And who the fuck drives a station wagon in Manhattan? He is going to blow that – spoiler alert- $75 birthday check on a parking ticket within the week.
Stem cell butt chugging made me laugh out loud. Or LOL, as the kids say. Bravo my friend, bravo.
He’s at least five years away from being Keanold.
Boo this man!!!
Bojana? Is that really a name? I thought it was a part of the “name game”
You’re thinking of her sister, Fofana Novakovic.
Keanu may be a goddam genius for living an enviable life and the whole replicant thing, but it still amuses me whenever somebody calls him stupid in a movie.
C’mon Ashley. He’s clearly a time traveler, not a vampire.
ps. San Dimas High School Football Rules!
Reminds me of my brief time living in Brooklyn. Except, I was the only white dude in an all black and Puerto Rican neighborhood.
Did dad sometimes send you a birthday card with a 5 dollar bill?
I can’t wait until Generation Erm? and Generation Eh… comes out and then I can get the whole speech disfluency trilogy.
Maybe the secret ingredient for immortality is soul-crushing loneliness.
His friends look nice….