A drunk woman crashed her Pontiac Grand Am into the side of a mobile home yesterday before attempting to flee on a tiny, battery-powered Power Wheels truck, all while pantsless. In a shocking twist, it all went down in Arkansas, not Florida.

Jamie Craft, 28, was not wearing any pants when she hopped on board the battery-powered toy truck — which has a top speed of just 5 mph — to make her escape.
Her attempted getaway came moments after she allegedly slammed herPontiac Grand Am into the side of a trailer home in Jonesboro, Ark., on Tuesday.
Cops gave chase — on foot — and arrested her within minutes. [NYDailyNews]
According to police, Craft was pretty irate when they caught up with her as well as being without any pants.
They say she was also very drunk, with a blood alcohol level of .217, which is 3 times the legal limit. [KTLA]

I was reading about The Artist is Present the other day, the documentary about the performance artist Marina Abramovic, who did stuff like make visitors walk between two naked people, and broke up with her boyfriend on top of the Great Wall of China – pieces that boring psuedo-intellectuals of course ate up like so much white-guilt dipped kale chips. I bring it up because I wonder when the true performance artists like Jamie Craft here are finally going to stand up and reclaim their medium from phony interlopers like Marina Abramovic. Abramovic does a piece, and people spend years trying to explain why it’s art. Meanwhile, crashing into a mobile home drunk and pantsless and trying to get away on a power wheels truck that moves slower than you can walk – that requires no explanation. To even attempt to explain it would be to tarnish its inherent beauty. It’s art because it is.

I eagerly await Jamie Craft’s first installation, The Artist Is Pantsless.

Jamie Craft's getaway truck