Outside of Planet Terror in Grindhouse, which was surprisingly awesome, I’ve always found Robert Rodriguez’s movies just a liiiittle too dumb in a not-clever way for me to enjoy. I think it has a lot to do with his child-like obsession with silly weaponry – the penis gun in Dusk Till Dawn, the guitar guns and bombs and guitar flamethrower in Once Upon a Time in Mexico, the rocket launchers inside the engine manifold in Machete… And these things would be easier to forgive if it didn’t feel like Rodriguez thought he was being super clever. Anyway, the Rodriguez imagination is back in full effect in this new poster for Machete Kills, starring Sofia Vergara firing indiscriminately with boob guns. Because she’s using her sexuality as a weapon, get it? Where are the bullets supposed to come from, anyway? Her vagina? And how does she aim those things? They’re clearly set off in different directions at a 45-degree angle from each other, which seems like it’d be ineffective in a fire fight. Plus, she can’t fire from a covered position, she actually has to put her head and torso in a vulnerable position to return fire, which seems like a major drawback. This is basic military tactics.
More importantly, why cast an actress with world-class breasts if you’re just going to cover them in metal props? Please, sir, let Sofia’s breasts speak for themselves. I can add the “pew-pew” sounds myself.
Those kids are going to get lead poisoning.
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MACHINE GUN JUBBLIES!!!
[gifsoup.com]
+1
I rewatched Desperado recently, and it is criminally retarded. I hadn’t seen it since I was about 13 (at which time I fucking loved it), but even for a really stupid movie, it’s pretty bad. On the other hand, young Salma Hayek.
I guess what I’m trying to say is Robert Rodriguez had a knack for casting latinas with huge racks, and I think that’s something we can all get behind.
He should be president. We need a man with a knack for casting latinas with huge racks in office.
Not to be a hater but is casting latinas with huge racks something special? It’s like Chris Rock said: You don’t get credit for stuff you’re supposed to do (I take care of my kids).
Correction: Young NAKED Salma Hayek. That’s the best kind of Salma Hayek. Naked.
That was a body double. Sorry guys.
With each Rodriguez movie, I slowly realize that he’s not in on the joke. While Tarantino is trying to use tropes in bad genre films to do something smart and resonating, I feel like Rodriguez is using tropes in bad genre films to make.. bad genre films.
I don’t see a thing wrong with that.
Mickey Rourke’s segment in Sin City was pretty awesome, too.
Put your mouth on the pistolas!
Nothing new in film. Ursula Andress did it in The Tenth Victim (1965). Sadly, when she uses her boob guns today, they shoot her in her feet.
F*cked up, but funny
Pietro Germi’s “The 10th Victim” is everything Rodriguez wishes he was making. Ursula not only has a gun bra, but she manages to deflect a bullet with her bullet proof bikini panties, which in itself would have required incredible marksmanship on the part of the shooter.
I see your Mariachi trilogy and raise you Sin City. I will defend that movie to the death.
You yellow bastard!
That flick is a dame to kill for.
Heh. Bewbs.
That looks more like a bra gun to me. A nipple gun would be far more practical. Fit a couple thimble-sized gatlings over her nibs and let her silicone absorb the kick.
I really enjoyed Machete and I love Sofia Vergara. But that poster makes Machete 2 look really fucking stupid. I think he went too far with this one. . .Couldn’t she be pulling a gun out of her ass or have an ass gun?
Maybe he’s going way of Tokyo Gore Police.
Greeks are not big on firearms; but an ass flame thrower may be the ticket.
Yeah, this has been touched upon but not really emphasized correctly. Those are not “boob guns”. Those are “boob gatlings”.
And I think that’s the joke that he’s trying to make. Austin Powers said “MACHINE GUN JUBBLIES” – Rodriquez said “WHAT MORE CAN WE DO?!”
Gatling is the sir name of Dr. Richard Jordan Gatling; he refined the concept of the Gatling gun; one of the breast modern firearm innovations in recent history.
I see what you tit there, Moose
So, ah, someone tell me how to nominate Moose for comment of the week?
Pretty sure it doesn’t make the top 27…..
of this thread.
Anyone who is BFF’s with Tarantino has to be a moron.
Or a Coke Wizard.
Robert Rodriguez has long since lost his mind and I’m pretty much done supporting his ridiculous projects. Yeah I like hot chicks and silly violence. He takes the fun out of those things by going so over the top with it.
Planet Terror is my favorite movie of his, but I’m surprised you like it, Vince, considering the machine gun leg prosthetic was featured so heavily.
That somehow seems less stupid than the other shit. Though it was more the rest of the movie that I liked. It actually seemed like he was in on the joke in that one.
I know non-lethal weapons aren’t RR’s style, but the best way to weaponize Sofia Vergara is to have her shoot ping pong balls out of her vag.
And a good tactic against the Chinese military is to have Sofia Vergara lob a ping pong ball out of vag and boob-serve it at them. They’d fight each other for the chance to return serve.
But Sofia Vergara easily fills in the entire space under the metal cups, where does the mechanism fit? Dammit, I need realism with my boob guns!
Danica Patrick wasn’t available.
Its like Columbia’s answer to the Guyver’s Mega Smasher.
Robert Rodriguez is such a common name I’m absolutely positive this guy and the guy who wrote and directed El Mariachi are two different people. It’s the only logical explanation.