When you’re a hot young actor like Brendan Fraser, you might think it’s going to rain Bedazzled money forever. Or at least, it seems, Brendan Fraser’s ex-wife and divorce lawyer, who got him to pay $50,000 a month in alimony must’ve thought that. But the truth is, showbiz is an even crueler bitch than my ex-wife’s lawyer. So it is that Brendan Fraser now finds himself losing $87,000 a month, even while earning millions.

Take it away, TMZ:

Fraser filed docs in Connecticut recently as part of an ongoing battle with his ex-wife to lower his alimony payments, which currently sit at $50,000/month. To prove his financial situation ain’t what it used to be, Fraser listed his monthly income and expenses

According to Fraser, he makes about $205,704.04/month, but $112,803.25 goes to professional expenses leaving him with $92,900.79.  Fraser says he makes another $25,800.28 from interest and other financial things rich people get … and then the expenses kick in, including …

Alimony — $50,000
Mortgages — $5,000+
Property tax — $6,000+
Income tax — $34,132.52
Child support — $25,000
Gardening — $5,200
Various insurances — $5,000+
Family support and gifts — $5,000+
Staffing — $3,000
Pet care — $7.77
And it goes on and on …

All told, Fraser’s expenses have him losing $87,320.01/month. But Fraser’s assets reportedly total just a shade under $25 million. [TMZ]

$200 grand a month, not bad. That comes out to a shade more than a cool $2.5 million a year. Of course, according to this accounting, with his expenses, he’d have to make about $3.6 mil just to break even. Also, $3,000 a month for “staffing” sounds like a lot, until you realize that it probably means he has some assistant fresh out of college trying to afford her loan payments and LA rent making $36,000 a year. Which has to suck when some 8-year-old’s making $300K a year just for being Brendan Fraser’s kid. (Okay, so technically he has three sons – Griffin, Holden, and Leland, which are traditional Connecticut names – each earning $100K a year each).

But of course, all of this is if we believe Brendan Fraser’s own accounting. And I do, because I don’t think he’d try to lie. If you’re Brendan Fraser, you don’t want that much money riding on your ability to act. (*vigorous armpit farts*)