It’s been almost three years since Inception came out, but you’d never know it by this week’s trailers, which are still helping Hollywood’s BRAAAAHM sound operators earn record profits. Didn’t Eisenhower try warn us about the burgeoning BRAAAAHM-sound industrial complex? I fear this has grown beyond our control.
Oblivion, from Tron Legacy director Joseph Kosinski, looks like the kind of sci-fi movie designed for people who thought Looper wasn’t “space-y” or “future-y” enough (not that there’s anything wrong with that). It stars Tom Cruise as a droid maintenance man from a future human colony in space, who spends his days cleaning up the now-uninhabitable surface of the Earth. That is, until ONE DAY (*record scratch) he finds out, surprise surprise, there are still some people down there, and their thetan levels are off the charts. So Cruise orders up some personality tests, hooks everyone to e-meters, and gets them all to help make a recruitment video starring Will Smith’s kids. The video converts the whole galaxy and they all live happily ever after in a psychiatrist-free utopia ruled by Emperor Danny Masterson.
What would you call this, Wall E meets Prometheus? Wall E meets Avatar? Hmm. You guys discuss while I enjoy this picture of Morgan Freeman in a cape.
[MSN via Movies.com]
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i just hope there will be more movies made with that grey-blue tint post-production treatment to ensure the audience realizes what a cold, cruel world the future will be…oh, and robot uprising…and zombie apocalypse….BRAAAAAHM!
Banner pic: “AO is clear of gays!”
I wish instead of an advertisement before a Tom Cruise movie, they played like 30 seconds of a Bone Thugs N Harmony video so I still felt cool afterward.
Would you settle for this?
[www.youtube.com]
I like Key & Peele, so yes, I do settle.
Wall-E + The Matrix = This
I’m all for taking creative liberties when rebooting a franchise, but damnit guys – The Great Gazoo was green!
All of the Big Brother “Effective Team” shit is cool. I’m intrigued.
I’m guessing the aliens actually won and that Melissa Leo/Control is one of them (or a simulation/program) and that they’re using Jack Reacher Harper Hunt to kill his own people. Unbeknownst to himself. Concentration Camp style.
Morpheus went and got all geriatric
Legitimate cape.
I kinda hate myself a little for laughing so hard at this.
It is an amazing DIY cape. Notice how it’s fastened together around the neck, instead of embedded into the shoulders. Only in a post-apocalyptic world would Morgan Freeman need to do that. So this movie, like the cape, is legit.
Definitely a cape-cape.
Tom Cruise finding Gary’s cat would be a much better movie.
This.
Will Smith and his weiner kid are in a movie set on a future, uninhabitable Earth too. What aren’t they telling us? Is Xenu going to return?
Here is my best prediction for this movie: I will watch it in November 2013 on HBO while hung over as shit and unwilling to look for the remote.
Spoiler alert: the big twist will be when 3/4 of the way through I realize the remote was right by my feet on the couch the whole time.
BRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHMMMM
Tom’s spaceship looks like a cock and balls.
Those talking, evil spherical robot drones were already the stupidest idea for enemies when they were alien robots in Dr. Who. Why would someone adopt that idea for a movie that actually looks cool and isn’t weird British tripe?
Weird British tripe?!? We can’t be friends.
I think he means British children’s tv show that nobody over the age of 15 should watch.
Wall-E meets Total Recall.
So now we know why capes were invented in the first place.
Anyone else think that was Adam Sandler in the top picture?