James Franco and Harmony Korine made a movie about Disney Channel teenyboppers who get half naked and rob banks, and now it has a restricted trailer (slightly NSFW for the briefest of nipularity), and better believe I’m going to post it. Spring Breakers opens March 22, so start getting lubed up to receive your inevitable dicknosing. That’s Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, and Rachel Korine up top. Rachel Korine looks pretty great for someone who had a kid in 2008, but I think Ashley Benson is my favorite. Though that could just be because she has the least amount of fabric covering her lower half. I am a simple man.
Brit (Ashley Benson), Candy (Vanessa Hudgens), Cotty (Rachel Korine) and Faith (Selena Gomez) have been best friends since grade school. They live together in a boring college dorm and are hungry for adventure. All they have to do is save enough money for spring break to get their shot at having some real fun. A serendipitous encounter with rapper “Alien” (James Franco) promises to provide the girls with all the thrill and excitement they could hope for. With the encouragement of their new friend, it soon becomes unclear how far the girls are willing to go to experience a spring break they will never forget.
Oh boy, seeing how far college girls will go used to be my favorite thing! Anyway, I can’t wait. And I can’t believe none of this made it into James Franco’s Obama poem. You write about talking Borges with Christopher Hitchens but not partying with half naked teens in Florida? You’ve changed, bro.
[hat tip: Slashfilm]
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You just like chicks with a dude’s name, fruit loop.
Starring Kevin Franco as James Federline.
This is the best version of this joke I’ve heard yet.
They should ADR James Franco with the real Jody Highroller.
This looks like it was filmed in HPV.
+1
Yes.
HOLY HELL! At the end ya’ll they say there’s 6 Mars ya’ll. That means there’s 6 Veronica Mars ya’ll. 4 for each of us!
That photo is one of the least likely combinations of the words ‘line’ and ‘ho’
Ashley Benson is not unattractive.
And I am going to watch the absolute shit out of this movie.
Ashley, Rachel, Vanessa, Selena
Bold rankings. I personally dig the Hudg.
I definitely smell more of what the Hudg is cooking than Ashley.
Looks like I’ll be skipping this entirely.
do you get called gay a lot?
that’s fine. it’ll do
disregard that last thing
Riiiiiight…
I thought that was going to be an 80′s style sex comedy. I had no idea Franco was supposed to actually be scary, regardless of his non-threateningryness.
Yeah, fooled me too. Now I’m hoping there will be a grand The Wild Bunch style shoot-out at the end where all of them get shot to death in slo-mo.
“That’s the End of Spring Break…Bitchezzzzzzzzz!”
Gotta love the BRAAAHHHHHMMMMM in the middle of the trailer. Incepted!
Reeeal gutter ratchet rap music + white people + slow motion = pure happiness.
its science y’all
This……….
Holy shit! They even added a “Brahmmmmm” for good measure!
But seriously, tits or GTFO.
Love me some Disney titaesssss
My computer smells like stale beer now.
Time to dig out my trench coat for some extra privacy in the theater.
Fred Willard didn’t need no trench coat.
question: do the 4 main girls that most people are going to be watching just to see naked actually get naked? or is it gonna be a bait and switch where it’s just random slutty extras taking their tops off? not that the latter is necessarily terrible…
Maybe the R is for copious amount of James Franco dick?
Just the pink haired one.
that’s fine. it’ll do.
Just the pink haired one? Only one? Not worth it.
Why are they all glowing under the blacklight? Are they really covered in that much jizzum
This has to be Armond White-level trolling. This movie is going to be fucking awful.
Yep, and I will watch every goddamn second of it.
Here’s to hoping the title’s referring to their box springs.
BECAUSE THEY’LL BE HAVING A LOT OF SEX. #IGetIt
Not an abdominal muscle among these chubby has-been’s and never-will-be’s.
This could be like the modern white girl version of Set It Off… but with more attractive girls. I’m quite partial to Rachel Korine. My list goes Rachel, Vanessa, Ashley, Selena.
it’s more like a teenage gender-swapped version of the big hit, but without hitmen and my boy marky-mark
The casting of this movie bugs me. It’s as if they’re saying “Hey, you know those wholesome girl role-models? Well, they can be bad too! SEX! DRUGS! RAP MUSIC!” Seems like a gimmick to get old Disney Channel pedophiles in the seats.
and wiggers, dont forget wiggers
I think they call that “smart marketing”.
“Why so spishous”, slays me everytime, who told him that criminals put y’all at the end of everything because its the most cringing thing i’ve ever seen, and I made a your mum to a kid the day after his mum died.
Ill see it just to give Harmony Korine another chance. Mister Lonely was awful and Trash Humpers was near un watchable.
Jesus Christ…. This is Hollywood in the future? I can’t wait to tell Lucas its all about Sluts and White men acting Black.
Even though in my time it still is kinda about sluts….
(Looks at photo first)
Huh, looks like Abrams decided to add more Orion slave girls…
(Looks at title)
Oh.
I hope I can find a group of teenagers to buy me a ticket and sneak me into this movie.
not all of their bikini tops and bottoms match. That bothers me more than it should
because of the lighting and bold coloring in their underwear in that picture above, they look like fucking ninja turtles. WHY HAS THAT MOVIE HAPPENED YET?! 4 female teenage mutant ninja turtles! with weird shell boobs.
aw fuck
*WHY HASN’T
wow, a bunch of skinny ass girls with no asses or curves or bodies for that matter trying to be bad…. Remind my why i want to see this again? If it wasn’t for Harmony and my love of Gummo and Kids I would tell this here movie to piss off!!!
Tres bon humpee.