Howdy, fellas and dudettes, it’s your old buddy Vince here. I’ve got some exciting news: Uproxx is teaming up with 5-Second Films to create a futuristic chimera of dickjoklian proportions, that our enemies will eventually come to know as UPROXX VIDEO, which promises to be the TRUCKASAURUS OF INTERNET. What’s that mean, you ask? Well, for the past few years, Uproxx and 5-Second Films have been sort of unofficial partners and co-cheerleaders, an arrangement that led to you seeing things like this:

In keeping with our mission to make these sites a virtual bitchin’ keg party full of smokin’ babes, chill dudes, chiller brew, and cat pictures till we spew, we’re taking our friends-with-benefits relationship with 5SF to the next level. Meaning, we’re going from occasional F-buddies to a sort of Bushwhackers-type partnership, where we stomp around the party spitting videos at you and wrestling each other. I’m sorry, I realize my metaphors can get a bit lofty. But the point is, we’ve started a YouTube Channel and you can expect to see 3-4 original videos per week. So start gettin’ lubed up, Cheech. The video annotations aren’t working at the moment, but you can subscribe like a boss right here. I. Could not. Be more. Excited. Now, if you need me, I’ll be shadowboxing in the corner until this meth wears off. Oh, and can someone check on Burnsy? I vaguely remember trying to kill him because I thought he was the devil.



Maybe a sort of live frotcast of somekind. I’d put that in my eyes. Or, a new version of “Vince Doesn’t Know What To Do With His Hands” review show.
Seconded.
Cannot wait for this
Are the two girls in the middle sitting on that dude’s lap or is he just doing the Van Damme splits behind them?
He’s Van Dammeing, hard.
I just wanna see a sketch where Vince and Burnsy review the next Michael Bay flick hooked up to buttchugg IVs of PBR whilst thumb-wrestling. This event will be judged and for every successful point and counter point Danger gets to hit their PBR IV bag with a mallet. It would be called Bro/Counter-Bro.
Hopefully we’ll get to see Vince and the rest of the frotcast in some skits. Rub some baby oil on those acting muscles before you use them.
Is “dickjoklian” pronounced with a hard or soft J?
I think it would be funny to have all the anonymous Uproxx contributors just milling about in the background every third video or so, without any explanation.
It would have to be an Eyes Wide Shut sorta party, cuz I’d be wearing a mask. And no pants.
Hallelujah!