[via FckYeahDementia]
I would’ve liked to get an Oscar reaction post up last night, but as it turns out, drinking games and brilliant analysis aren’t a likely combination (though I did have an elaborate dream about going to a winery with Jennifer Lawrence last night, true story). In the meantime, I’ve got your full list of winners below, and this Joaquin Phoenix reaction shot, possibly the strangest moment of the night. He hasn’t looked this confused and out of it since he was doing it on purpose for that movie where he got pooped on. I do feel bad for him though. They should really have a separate acting award, for Daniel Day-Lewis and everyone else. That way actors with performances like Joaquin’s in The Master could get some recognition.
As for his reaction, there is the distinct possibility that he was trying to give them the worst reaction shot possible. This considering he’s been open about hating awards season, calling it “total, utter bullshit, and I don’t want to be a part of it. [...] I don’t believe in it. It’s totally subjective. Pitting people against each other … It’s the stupidest thing in the whole world.”
Earlier that night, Roger Friedman, asked Joaquin if he was going to the ceremony:
“People keep asking me that,” said the star of The Master, “I didn’t know I had a choice.”
So basically, Joaquin Phoenix looked like a guy who hates the Oscars, but had to show up anyway so that Harvey Weinstein would let him see his kids again. That’s what I took from this.
BEST PICTURE
Beast of the Southern Wild
Zero Dark Thirty
Amour
Argo
Life of Pi
Les Miserables
Lincoln
Silver Linings Playbook
Django Unchained
I’d just like to point out that I called this in my review.
BEST DIRECTOR
Life of Pi - Ang Lee
Amour - Michael Haneke
Lincoln - Steven Spielberg
Silver Linings Playbook - David O Russell
Beasts of the Southern Wild - Behn Zeitlin
Poor Steven Spielberg. I guess he’ll have to just be content with everyone in Hollywood kissing his ass all of the time.
BEST ACTRESS
Jessica Chastain – Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence – Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva – Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis – Beasts of the Southern Wild
Naomi Watts – The Impossible
It’s become a cliché at this point, but yes, Jennifer Lawrence is a delight. I’ve been saying this since Winter’s Bone. Go rent that if you haven’t seen it, I promise.
BEST ACTOR
Bradley Cooper – Silver Linings Playbook
Daniel Day-Lewis – Lincoln
Hugh Jackman – Les Misérables
Joaquin Phoenix – The Master
Denzel Washington – Flight
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Philip Seymour Hoffman – The Master
Robert DeNiro – Silver Linings Playbook
Alan Arkin – Argo
Tommy Lee Jones – Lincoln
Christoph Waltz – Django Unchained
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Sally Field – Lincoln
Anne Hathaway – Les Miserables
Jacki Weaver – Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Hunt – The Sessions
Amy Adams – The Master
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
Frankenweenie
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck it Ralph
ParaNorman
Brave
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Django Unchained - Robert Richardson
Anna Karenina – Seamus McGarvey
Lincoln - Janusz Kaminski
Life of Pi - Claudio Miranda
Skyfall - Roger Deakins
Deakins gets shut down again. ;-(
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Anna Karenina – Jacqueline Durran
Les Misérables – Paco Delgado
Lincoln - Joanna Johnston
Mirror Mirror – Eiko Ishioka
Snow White and the Huntsman - Colleen Atwood
Anna Karenina is like this really great costume party that no one went to.
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
5 Broken Cameras - Emad Burnat and Guy Davidi
The Gatekeepers – Dror Moreh, Philippa Kowarsky and Estelle Fialon.
How to Survive a Plague - David France and Howard Gertler
The Invisible War – Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering
Searching for Sugar Man - Malik Bendjelloul and Simon Chinn
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT
Inocente - Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine
Kings Point - Sari Gilman and Jedd Wider
Mondays at Racine – Cynthia Wade and Robin Honan
Open Heart - Kief Davidson and Cori Shepherd Stern
Redemption - Jon Alpert and Matthew O’Neill
BEST FILM EDITING
Argo - William Goldenberg
Life of Pi - Tim Squyres
Lincoln - Michael Kahn
Silver Linings Playbook - Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers
Zero Dark Thirty – Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg
I really hope Argo didn’t win because of that final sequence in the movie, where everyone in the audience stopped and turned to each other and went “well this part clearly didn’t happen in real life…”
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Amour
NO
War Witch
A Royal Affair
Kon Tiki
BEST MAKEUP AND HAIR STYLING
Hitchcock - Howard Berger, Peter Montagna and Martin Samuel
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - Peter Swords King, Rick Findlater and Tami Lane
Les Misérables - Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell
Derelicte is real! 19th Century French poverty FTW!
BEST MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE)
Anna Karenina – Dario Marianelli
Argo - Alexandre Desplat
Life of Pi - Mychael Danna
Lincoln - John Williams
Skyfall - Thomas Newman
BEST MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG)
Before My Time - Chasing Ice, Music and Lyric by J. Ralph
Pi’s Lullaby – Life of Pi, Music by Mychael Danna; Lyric by Bombay Jayashri
Suddenly - Les Miserables, Music by Claude-Michel Schönberg; Lyric by Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boublils
Everybody Needs a Best Friend – Ted, Music by Walter Murphy; Lyric by Seth MacFarlane
Skyfall - Skyfall, Music and Lyric by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth
Adele has a great voice and all, but this award is meaningless if “Ladies of Tampa” isn’t nominated.
BEST SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
Adam and Dog – Minkyu Lee
Fresh Guacamole – PES
Head over Heels – Timothy Reckart and Fodhla Cronin O’Reilly
Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare” - David Silverman
Paperman – John Kahrs
I still prefer the Paperman description from commenter Xander Crews: “So, uh, I think I just got fired. Also, these paper airplanes really want us to bone. Also, if we were going to buildings directly across the street from each other, why were we taking different trains?”
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
Anna Karenina – Sarah Greenwood (Production Design); Katie Spencer (Set Decoration)
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – Dan Hennah (Production Design); Ra Vincent and Simon Bright (Set Decoration)
Les Misérables -Eve Stewart (Production Design); Anna Lynch-Robinson (Set Decoration)
Life of Pi – David Gropman (Production Design); Anna Pinnock (Set Decoration)
Lincoln - Rick Carter (Production Design); Jim Erickson (Set Decoration)
BEST SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
Asad - Bryan Buckley and Mino Jarjoura
Buzkashi Boys – Sam French and Ariel Nasr
Curfew -Shawn Christensen
Death of a Shadow (Dood van een Schaduw) – Tom Van Avermaet and Ellen De Waele
Henry - Yan England
BEST SOUND EDITING – TIED
Argo - Erik Aadahl and Ethan Van der Ryn
Django Unchained – Wylie Stateman
Life of Pi – Eugene Gearty and Philip Stockton
Skyfall - Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers
Zero Dark Thirty – Paul N.J. Ottosson
BEST SOUND MIXING
Argo - John Reitz, Gregg Rudloff and Jose Antonio Garcia
Les Misérables - Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes
Life of Pi – Ron Bartlett, D.M. Hemphill and Drew Kunin
Lincoln - Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom and Ronald Judkins
Skyfall - Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell and Stuart Wilson
Sound mixing mostly covers sound recorded on the set, so of course the movie that can’t stop reminding you that all the actors recorded their bits live was going to win.
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and R. Christopher White
Life of Pi -Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott
Marvel’s The Avengers - Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams and Dan Sudick
Prometheus - Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley and Martin Hill
Snow White and the Huntsman – Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Philip Brennan, Neil Corbould and Michael Dawson
I guess you can’t win a VFX Oscar without at least one all-CG character anymore. I could tell the tiger was CG at least a quarter of the time. Shouldn’t that count against it? It did look amazing other than that. But so did Prometheus.
BEST WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin – Beasts of the Southern Wild
Chris Terrio – Argo
Tony Kushner – Lincoln
David O’Russell – Silver Linings Playbook
David Magee – Life of Pi
BEST WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
John Gatins – Flight
Mark Boal – Zero Dark Thirty
Quentin Tarantino – Django Unchained
Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola – Moonrise Kingdom
Michael Haneke - Amour
So, not much in the way of surprises. The only moderately surprising winners were Ang Lee winning best director, Lincoln winning best production design, and that one of the awards ended in a tie. I thought David O. Russell should’ve won best director, if only because Silver Linings Playbook combined almost every terrible indie rom-com cliché into one movie and probably should’ve been terrible, but was actually pretty good. I think he might be a warlock.
[thanks to Matty J for that Bullock picture.]
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I don’t think Spielberg won Best Director because they didn’t want him to match John Ford. I also got the sense that Russell’s reputation as a salty butthole hurt him and I’ll be Pope before the Oscars give the Best Director award to a furiner.
Ang Lee doesn’t count as a furiner anymore? Then why the hell am I building this border wall around Taiwan?
Ang Lee is as American as General Tso’s chicken!
I wish we had an edit button, then I could write: “I’ll be Pope before the Oscars gives the Best Director award to a furin film”
True. He has won twice for movies that didn’t win best picture. I understand (read: love) xenophobia, but honoring Crash is taking it a little too far.
He deserved to win both Best Picture and Best Director for Brokeback, that was utter bullshit.
We really need a GIF of Jamie Foxx’s strange reaction to Adele’s performance.
Maybe he just found out she was white.
wow, just saying his name now makes me think of his hot daughter. Let’s get her on a gif.
Thing is, movies like The Master benefit more from the Academy Awards then most, because seeing Philip Seymour Heinie (who should have won) in that clip probably got more people to see the movie than otherwise would have. Also, a great chance for Phoenix to diquinose the world, and for the host to out him as a Jewish person.
I was wondering why Meryl Streep didn’t open the envelope before announcing the winner of Best Actor. It was like the awards show equivalent of an outfielder not looking up or moving back on a long home run.
My thoughts exactly. She should have handed him the award the day he started filming (aka the day Spielberg started shooting Lincoln. Waka waka waka).
It’s the Marissa Tomei moment of the Oscars.
THANKS OBAMA
I can’t find the post, but I remember saying when the first pictures of DDL in full costume leaked, they might as well engrave the statue now.
Every time I get annoyed about how much people obsess over the classiness of the Oscars, I remind myself that Juicy J has a golden statue, and that amuses me.
Look at you getting all high and mighty about how much better you are than films most prestigious night, simply because you have the temerity to say no to ratchet pussy.
“I sure I’m glad that I’m sleep-deprived and cranky on Monday,” said nobody.
I am genuinely happy for Affleck, though. I like that guy, and Argo kicked ass.
Affleck is so effortlessly charming and endearing as a person. It never really translated over into his acting but I’m glad to see him doing well.
Ben is a better director than he is an actor… Gone Baby, Gone is terribly underrated it was a better movie than Mystic River and even made Casey Affleck watchable.
I thought it was a bit weird to thank his wife, and then talk about how tough their marriage was, though.
@sva7 Why? Marriage is fucking hard. It’s not a slam on your spouse to say it. It’s just a legit comment on the institution. The dude crawled out of his addiction pit and the lady made a choice to stand by him. I’ve walked down both of those roads. It ain’t no cake walk, but it’s damned well worth it.
Because he’s infamous for banging strippers/whores/randoms/Blake Lively, all while Garner holds down his familial fort.
Because implying that he’s really worked hard with her to preserve their marriage is kind of a joke.
And because it’s not like he said, “And my agent. Sometimes I think you’re a prick and you booked me for some bad jobs back in the day, but it’s a hard job — but a great job! And I wouldn’t want any other agent.”
I know nothing of Affleck’s personal life but IMO the best thing about Argo was J. Goodman and Alan Arkin. I guess the film was well directed but does anyone realize that the entire ending was fabricated ? It simply did not go down that way and I don’t think a movie should be sold as a true story if it obviously is not.This was probably the least good of all the nominated flicks.
I cannot believe you guys haven’t posted anything about Jamie Foxx’s Channing Tatum song.
i wanted more of that song. is that weird?
Just noticed Joaquin Phoenix looks like Rick from Walking Dead…probably does a better Southern accent too. Think we could switch the two?
Considering how much BS the Oscars really are, I would probably have the same look on my face too.
Denzel’s reaction was the best.
Do you mean his post-”Flight” clip eyebrow raise, where it seemed like he was saying, “…and I’m also drunk NOW.” ?
I meant the won when he lost, but honestly that man emotes magic.
@Rhelgy
Are you suggesting Denzel is a magic negro?
I guess in the same way I’m a suggesting I’m a mediocre Mexican.
Also, I meant “one” earlier. One day I’ll learn words.
Poor Joaquin Phoenix, his chosen profession requires him to go sit with a bunch of beautiful and rich people once a year for 5 hours. Big fucking deal. Ever been to a sales conference? It smells like Rosie O’Donnell’s asshole after she’s spent six hours at Ponderosa.
Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in a while. Mmmm, Ponderosa.
Looking around the old inter-webs I find that most people are pretty down on MacFarlane’s job as host. Am I the only one who thinks he did a pretty good job? Definitely the best since Stewart
There were a couple of jokes that I thought were exceedingly, appallingly lame (the boobs song and the joke about ZD30) but overall I thought the problems weren’t his fault.
He felt a bit forced at times, and there were definitely some awful jokes, but I’ll take that over Billy Crystal all day.
Also, considering MacFarlane does almost nothing but voice work, it’s pretty impressive he did what he did performing in front of millions.
And I am the furthest thing from a MacFarlane fan.
My only real reaction from watching MacFarlane was “If this guy is such a great reader/speaker, and so comfortable on stage and camera, even though these jokes are terrible, why the hell is he wasting his career and talent doing voiceover work for what amounts to a show that is nothing but farts and “Ow My Balls!” jokes, and panders to Walmart scooter riding, Looney Toons embroidered sweatsuit wearing, white trash morons?
@underball that was pretty much my feeling.
@underball To be fair American Dad is pretty good.
I liked it better 20 years ago when it was called “The Simpsons” and was actually funny.
Well, he’s a billionaire off of it. And he’s dating Kalheesi. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?
@underball — I liked that observation better 14 years ago when Family Guy first aired and people hadn’t said it a million times already.
I thought MacFarlane did a good job, the problems were more to do with the producers. Like the two tributes they did to a movie they produced (Chicago).
Yeah, what the fuck was that.
Joaquin Phoenix is drama’s Jim Belushi.
Yeah. Not really.
Jim Belushi + talent
Jim Belushi + talent = John Belushi
I thought McFarlane showed a lot of restraint for not breaking into Stewie voice whenever a joke bombed. You know he wanted to. It was killing him on the inside.
I’d also like to know what kind of deodorant he uses. Because it really kept his flop sweat at bay.
I was waiting for it the entire night.
Emmy for cinematography goes to whoever makes sure that whenever they show QT, you can see the Coke Wizard in the background.
So have the Coke Wizards successfully made Cocaine Trees?
love Joaquin! He’s the only REAL MAN speaking the truth on these self loathing celebrity awards & I applaud him for being vocal on animal rights & cruelty & living that way too. Just make movies people, that’s all we want to see!
Do you…do you realize how badly this statement contradicts itself?
“I love actors who have outside interests and share them with people. Shut up, actors — just act!”
Stupid fuckin’ corporate whores. The lot of them. Let’s go to Disneyland for the weekend.
The 14th Annual Self Loathing Celebrity Awards show is actually April 1st at Charlie Sheen’s house.
How did that shit-pile Brave beat Wreck it Ralph? IS THERE NO JUSTICE?
I say this as a feminist, but… because it was Pixar’s first lady-centric film. And because it was Pixar. And because I’m willing to bet nobody bothered to watch Wreck-It Ralph before voting.
Probably because there isn’t a single Academy voter who has every played a single video game in their entire life? Just guessing.
“Argo: Good, not great” That was what I said immediately after I saw it. The think I hate most about the Oscars is that the results are so dependent on momentum, and the nominations take place months before the actual voting. You didn’t think Affleck was good enough to get nominated for director, but he directed the best movie?
Argo’s best strength is building tension even though you already know what’s going to happen. Zero Dark Thirty does the exact same thing, is more realistic, more topical, and doesn’t have a horrible moment where you know they’re just making stuff up. I’m not saying it would have been my pick, but Argo is clearly a cop out.
What about Senor Spielbergo?
He looks like he was one more shot of Kristen Stewart away from barfing into his own lap. I know I was.
Not a single Fuck given by Joaquin Pheonix.
Here’s all you need to know about the fucking Oscars:
[www.youtube.com]
Empire Magazine has a not-100%-hit-rate-but-decent theory that Best Picture is usually the film that wins Best Editing. Not sure if Vince cares, but just to let him know that I have other movie entertainment sources. Just FYI bro.
I’d be pissed too. That Lincoln shit was terrible