I get the dismissive wanks in my wrist every time I report one of these Star Wars or superhero rumors, but God help us, everyone on the internet is obsessed with this stuff. Unless the revolution is fought with bacon and misplaced nostalgia, we’re all f*cked. Anyway, we already know that Disney bought LucasFilm and hired JJ Abrams to direct Star Wars VII. Now, Harry Knowles says Disney will also be making “stand-alone” Star Wars movies, starting with one about Yoda. Obnoxious, I’m sure a whole movie of that won’t be.

But really, what’s Disney going to be doing with these STAND ALONE films…
Well, to start with they’re going to focus on established characters and do solo films, no, not necessarily Han Solo films, but well, f*ck it…   The first Stand Alone film is going to center upon YODA.  At this stage specifics are sparse, but Kathleen Kennedy is putting together a STAR WARS slate…  I’m wildly curious for more details on the YODA film – would this be a young or old YODA tale?
Knowing that Lucasfilm is doing a series of stand alone character features…  I wonder if Joe Johnston has pitched Kennedy his stand alone BOBA FETT film he was talking about after the release of Captain America.   Hmmmmm…   Now, let’s chase after YODA details…  Where’s FRANK OZ?  Giggle.  Gotta love chasing STAR WARS stories!  Oh – and I’ve also heard tale of a JABBA story that Lucas has floated to some of his buddies.  But word is YODA is first. [AICN]

George Lucas has “buddies?” I’m assuming that means his stuffed animals. Anyway, it’s hard to say how preliminary the talk is at this point. Does anyone care about a Yoda movie? Hypothetically speaking? Other than an eager Andy Serkis, hopefully fitting himself with pointy ears in preparation? See, this is my problem with the Star Wars phenomenon in a nutshell. I like the first three movies fine, but Disney buying Lucasfilm was sort of like Coke buying A&W root beer. Will they make new root beer?? I mean, I guess. Put it this way, I’ve seen Pulp Fiction countless times and would’ve called it my favorite movie for many years, but if you told me Miramax was making a stand-alone movie about Butch the boxer, I imagine my reaction would be something along the lines of “Huh? Why?”

I’ll be interested in this only if they cast Luis Guzman as Yoda’s sidekick, and he starts all of his lines with “Mira, Joda!” Obi Juan Kenobi, say.