A guy in Times Square dressed as Spider-Man allegedly punched a 44-year-old mother of two after she didn’t pay him for posing for pictures with her two kids. You know, I’ve been predicting exactly these kinds of growing pains as the commemorative pictures industry tries to come to terms with a digital camera world. But I promise, this isn’t even the best part of the story.

Philip Williams, 35, was dressed as the web-slinging superhero when he was arrested for punching the 44-year-old woman at about 3:10 p.m., police said.

Williams allegedly belted the mother after she wouldn’t pay him for posing with her two kids, causing the woman to storm off and get her husband.

Waaaait for it…

But she ended up targeting the wrong Spider-Man for revenge.

I don’t blame her, I blame that goddamned Willem Dafoe screaming at her in the mirror. You can hardly think with that guy around.

“A woman came to me and said, ‘What did you do to me, you f–ker?’ ” said the other Times Square Spidey, who wouldn’t give his name.
“Her husband came over and said it was a different Spider-Man. They went over to the other one and started fighting.”
Witnesses said the woman’s husband then pounded the offending Spider-Man with a backpack before cops arrived to bust Spidey.
Williams was charged with assault.
“Getting arrested isn’t good for any of us,” said Times Square worker Christian, who dresses as Big Bird. “It makes us all look bad.”

A guy dressed as Big Bird worrying that this “makes us all look bad” is just about the funniest image I can imagine, so thanks for that, New York Post. I like to imagine there was another guy there talking through a howdy doody puppet saying, “Yeah! Jutht becauthe we dreth in cothtumes, it doethn’t mean we’re crathy!” while the other assembled cartoon characters twitterered affirmations.

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