16 Awesomely Bad Movies Available On YouTube Right Now

If you’ve ever watched a movie like Mortal Kombat or Tomb Raider and thought to yourself, “Dear God, why is this movie so terrible?” it’s because Super Mario Bros. set a very low bar for video game adaptations. This movie took all the things people love about the Super Mario Bros. video game series and threw them right down the warp pipe. A full hour goes by in the movie before the brothers even put on the damn trademark red and green get-ups! Actually, come to think of it, Mario and Luigi aren't even “brothers” in this movie. They have this weird pseudo paternal relationship that never even gets explained because they are so busy fighting evolved dinosaurs. Remember that from the video game? No? Well, you’re not alone.

There are more embarrassing videos starring Hulk Hogan than Suburban Commando on the Internet (Google “Hulk Hogan sex tape” but for the love of God, watch it through a sheet of paper or something because it’s like looking into a solar eclipse if the sun was made of wrinkly old leather). But Suburban Commando is the most embarrassing thing he has voluntarily starred in. Hogan plays an interstellar warrior adjusting to the simplicities of suburban life on Earth with Christopher Lloyd and Shelley Duvall as his hosts. But if that sounds too science-y and highbrow for you, don’t worry, Hogan has also starred in some crap. Also available on YouTube are the Hulkster’s other cinematic achievements: Mr. Nanny, No Holds Barred, and if the holiday season is upon you, Santa With Muscles, starring a young Mila Kunis.

As previously noted, Vampire’s Kiss is Nic Cage’s Nic Cagiest movie ever. If you’ve ever watched a highlight reel of Cage’s most over-the-top acting moments (and Lord knows you should), most of the clips likely came from this movie. Cage is a total madman in it. He eats a live cockroach, wears plastic vampire teeth, and flails through the streets of Manhattan. But nothing succesfully distracts you from his weird, limp Cage hair.

Rumble in the Bronx actually has some of the most amazingly well-choreographed fight scenes you’ll ever see in a movie. And Jackie Chan is the all time master when it comes to stunts, no doubt. And that’s about where the movie’s positives end. For starters, for a movie set in the Bronx, it sure looks an awful lot like Vancouver. And all of the laughably bad acting is made worse by the fact that the lines were delivered in the actors’ native languages and then later overdubbed. But still, can’t beat Jackie jumping off a building.

Thanks to a few generous uploaders, you can have a Pauly Shore movie marathon without ever having to leave YouTube. Perhaps you would like to see him and one of the Baldwin brothers who isn’t Alec cause mischief in a bubble? Or maybe you’d prefer seeing a then 24-year-old Weasel try to pass for a high school student who digs up a caveman? More of a military buff, are you? Well, you’ll never guess what happens when Shore and Andy Dick enlist in the U.S. Army. Hint: hijinks.

What could be said about the Crown Jewel of Bad Movies that hasn’t been said before? Nothing. So like Mark would say, keep your stupid comments in your pocket. Here it is on YouTube in all its vaguely Eastern European glory. Enjoy it before Tommy Wiseau gets tipped off by a satellite transmission from his home planet and has it taken down.