Pearls and a scarf?

It’s been some time since we last checked in with Netflix’s streaming options, and there’s plenty of new additions so let’s get on with it, shall we?  There’s Fire With Fire, Jeff Who Lives At Home, The Devil Inside, Red Lights, Afghan Luke, Dark Horse, The Day I Saw Your Heart, and finally, two from today: Seal Team Six: The Raid On Osama Bin Laden, and Whores’ Glory.  As always, here are four more stellar suggestions inspired by this week’s amazing new DVDs:

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St. Trinian’s

Dredd’s Lena Headey and Jack & Diane’s Juno Temple co-star in this flick, which I can only assume is some sort of British attempt to trick Americans into thinking this is a real film.  Inspired by a film series that began in the 1950s, this awful looking wreck of a flick about the rebellious students at an all-girls school somehow stars the respectable likes of Colin Firth and Stephen Fry, who appear alongside other Brits like Russell Brand and Rupert Everett (that’s him in the picture above).  Like I said, I think this –and its sequel- must be some elaborate joke on us boorish Americans and I just don’t get it.  Since when have the British found cross-dressing humourous?
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Hollow Man

House At The End Of The Street’s Elisabeth Shue co-stars in this invisible man flick from mostly kick-ass director Paul Verhoeven. I won’t try to tell you this flick is at all good, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to watching it multiple times over the years.  Yes, the CGI is horrible –and it always has been- but that doesn’t change the fact that you get to see Kevin Bacon’s skinless dick flapping around.  Oh yeah, there’s also boobs, but unfortunately, with skin over them.
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Brother’s Justice

Sadly, Hit & Run is not Dax Shepard’s writing/directing/starring debut, and given that it actually turned a profit at the box office, it probably won’t be his last film, either.  Somebody else can watch this, his actual first feature, and tell me if I’m being too hard on the guy.  P.S. –I’m not.
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Stolen

Stolen co-star Josh Lucas co-stars in this film, Stolen.  That’s right, he has now appeared in two different films entitled Stolen.  This film, from 2009, actually stars Jon Hamm as a dude trying to solve the mystery of his missing son while also uncovering a crime from 50 years earlier. This film co-stars James Van Der Beek and Oscar-nominee (and potential re-nominee come this Thursday’s Oscar nominations announcement) Jessica Chastain.  I would watch this if only out of fascination on how much an actor’s career can change in four years.  Except for Josh Lucas’s.  Sh*tty then, sh*tty now.