The upside of being a pornographer is that you can pull any cheap publicity stunt without worrying that it’s going to ruin your brand. Actually, does anyone worry about that anymore? I digress, but so it is that YouPorn is publicly offering $150,000 for the photo purportedly depicting a vintage Schwarzenegger sex act that was discovered in an abandoned storage locker once owned by Bob Guccione this week. I absolutely love typing that sentence, by the way. “Abandoned storage locker once owned by Bob Guccione” is an eight-word Raymond Chandler novel.
Via, who else, TMZ:
A photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger caught stark naked in the throes of passion is worth roughly $150,000 — AT LEAST — so says a really popular porn site … and it wants to buy the pic RIGHT NOW sight unseen.
TMZ broke the story … a financial entrepreneur named Jeremy Frommer purchased storage lockers once owned by deceased Penthouse founder Bob Guccione — and found a treasure trove of historic erotica, including unpublished nude photos of Madonna, Lauren Hutton, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Now, YouPorn.com wants to acquire the pics — in order to publish them online — and has already sent Frommer a letter, offering $150,000 for the whole lot.
YouPorn is specifically interested in the Schwarzenegger pic, which reportedly shows the former Mr. Universe nude in the act. YouPorn writes, “Let’s face it. The real value here is in Schwarzenegger’s ‘Schwanz.’” And you don’t need a translation to know what that means.
If the real value is little Arnold Schwanzenegger, I have a Google Image search that may interest you. This picture (NSFW) is real, right? I can’t find anything to say whether it is or isn’t, but YouPorn should probably pay me $100 grand just in case. I’ll even throw in this vintage picture of Burnsy and me relaxing between posts at Uproxx headquarters:
“Whatcha thinkin’ ’bout?” – “Oh, I dunno. Weights and stuff.”
YouPorn’s offer comes hot on the heels of PornHub’s “banned” Super Bowl ad. You know, because I’m sure they had a realistic expectation that they’d be allowed to advertise a product with “porn” in the title during a program that once got fined millions for accidentally showing a portion of Janet Jackson’s tit. Fine, guys, I’ll kick the football.
I think Michael Haneke directed that.
[Banner Image via]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Farrah-Pregnancy-test-pictures-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/arnold-schwarzenegger-joins-toxic-avenger-reboot-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Avengers-Dancing-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Squirts-150x150.jpg)
*sharpens up mad Photoshop skillz*
The only question is whose naked body to ‘shop Arnold’s face on: Ron Jeremy, Peter North, or Harvey Keitel from The Bad Lieutenant.
*gets an IM*
Oh, alright, Arnold, Michael Fassbender from Shame it is.
Found in the Butthurt Locker.
Just guessing, but I think seeing A.S.’s O-face would make me beltsand my retinas.
Ugh, labeling everything as “banned” drives me nuts. There’s no real banning in 99% of those things they tell us are banned. It’s lazy marketing at best. And now I’m tired from all this ranting. Phew, gotta catch my breath after 3 sentences.
Word is, he used to do 50 lb curls with his cremaster.
How has one man made so many movies that could double as names for his penis? Predator, Terminator, Junior, Conan the Barbarian, Commando. It told Tales from the Crypt during his marriage. Red Heat when he was entering a combat zone. Total Recall when he gets out of the pool. Raw Deal needs no clarification. Twins to refer to the gentlemen below, Triplets to discuss the whole package.
My favorite is Kindergarten Cop.
The Last Action Hero.
Hercules in New York
There shouldn’t be any confusion about which “act” is taking place in the picture. By Arnold’s own admittance, “all da time I am cumming”.
How does youporn even have $150 grand? Has anyone ever actually paid for porn in the history of online porn?
YouPorn puts it online for free, gets 8 jillion hits, and then charges people for advertising. I don’t know that they’ve got $4 million to burn on Super Bowl ads, but I doubt they have a cash flow problem.
Oh, duh. I forgot everything on the internet is free because there are ads everywhere. I’ve learned to filter them out, much like the adam’s apples in tranny porn.
Anything to take that awful image of Arnold and that Mexican hag out of mind. B-r-r-r-r
Wait, J Lo is Dominican or Puerto Rican or something? Never mind .
Holy smokes, reset, I seem to have confused The Last Stand with Parker (and J Lo with Johnny Knoxville). Disturbing or predictable? Best not to think about it.
I’d point out that the company with the Superbowl ad is PornHub, but I refuse to believe that Vince doesn’t know the difference.
Too many sex stories the last couple of days that are completely incompatible with each other. My mind (and by mind I mean penis) doesn’t know what to make of it all.
upto I saw the check which had said $4625, I accept that my friend could trully earning money part-time on their computer.. there sisters neighbour has done this for less than sixteen months and just took care of the dept on there apartment and bought a great Lancia. read more at……. [xurl.es]