Many of you probably didn’t realize that Tyler Perry, in addition to being a cross-dressing multi-hyphenate gazillionaire, also keeps a mailing list for his fans and sends out periodic newsletters. It’s like Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop newsletter, if $100 cake knives were INSPIRATION. I discovered his newsletter today, promptly subscribed, and was treated to this landing page:

Oh no, Mr. Perry, thank you.

In any case, I was alerted to the existence of Perry’s newsletter by his latest mass-send, which begins as a mundane true story about the search for groundwater on his property, but soon evolves into a redemptive tale of trust in a higher power. My God, what this man can do with the simplest of tools, he’s a magician!

Perry begins by explaining that a few years back, he was having incredibly high water bills, so he hired a guy to come out to his property to dig a well. The guy dug three holes without hitting water. Perry paid him, and sent him home, but after a few more high bills, called the guy back out again.

He said, “Are you sure?” I said, “Yes, keep drilling until you hit water.” The next well he dug he was down 500 feet and still didn’t hit any water. He asked if I wanted him to stop. I said, “Go deeper.” He dug down another 200 feet and still nothing. I said, “Go deeper.” He drilled another 200 feet and he hit rock. I said, “Blast it, cut it, do whatever you have to do but keep digging.” After fighting the rock and breaking his drill and getting a new one we got a little deeper. He said, “We are at 1,200 feet, why do you want me to keep going?” I said, “Cause I’m tired of these water bills and I’m going to do something about it.” He said, “But this is really deep.” I asked him if he had hit water yet. He said “no,” so I told him to go deeper. “But you don’t understand,” he said. “We don’t usually drill this deep, this is going to be expensive.” I told him that, “Sometimes you have to go deeper to get what you are after, no matter what the cost.”

BOOM. You know, maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I’m starting to believe that this story might be about more than just water.

He started the machine and went down another four inches and hit a river of water. Just a few inches separated me from getting my breakthrough. That was five years ago and that well has never run dry.

In 2013 I want you to apply that to your life in all ways. Sometimes you will spend time on a thing and it will produce no water. Don’t be afraid to move on to another spot. YOU CAN’T HAVE FEAR. I don’t care how much time you put into it. If the well is dry MOVE ON! Nothing lives where there is no living water. Be it a relationship, a job, a business, don’t be afraid to move to another spot.

Now, on the other hand, if you are digging your well and you are sure that it is not only where you want to be but where God wants you to be, then keep digging in that same spot. Don’t stop digging until you hit a river of blessings.
[...]
Happy New Year.

DDDDIIGGGGGG! People DIG!!! [via]

So… if I have this right… don’t be afraid to quit digging if there’s nothing there… Unleeeess, God tells you to keep digging, in which case DIG, DIG UNTIL YOU HIT THE MOLTEN BRIMSTONE OF SATAN’S LAIR AND DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOU BURY THE POINT OF YOUR SPADE DEEP IN THE QUIVERING SLIME HEART OF THE BEAST HIMSELF. DO THIS YOU MUST OR YOUR SECOND SONS WILL BE FOREVER CURSED SO SPAKE THE WARRIOR-KING.

Speaking metaphorically of course. In practice, if you’re digging for artistic perfection, and you hit the story of a lawyer named Deeds who learns the value of good deeds in Good Deeds, DIG’S OVER, SON, YOU STRUCK GOLD.

[hat tip to ST VanAirsdale for this incredible discover]