Unless you’re well versed in obscure celebrity beefs, you might not remember that, as of last March, Human Centipede director Tom Six had planned to sue his star, Dieter Laser, for breach of contract for pulling out of The Human Centipede 3. Laser’s reason? I shit you not, creative disagreements. God only knows what had to be in a script for a guy who played an evil doctor who stitches people’s mouths to their assh*les to object to it, but luckily this story has a happy ending: Laser and Six have made up and will be re-uniting for The Human Centipede 3, the most hotly-anticipated movie about shit eaters since Rock of Ages. I’m told this one will be 500% more medically accurate.
Last March, it was reported that Dutch filmmaker Six, who wrote and directed both 2010′s Human Centipede (First Sequence) and the following year’s The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), was threatening to sue Laser for breach of contract. At the time, Ilona Six — Tom Six’s sister and the co-producer of the Human Centipede series — issued a statement claiming that Laser’s ego had “grown to laughably big proportions,” that the actor had demanded “unacceptable script changes,” and that he had backed out of the project “only seven weeks prior to shooting.”
“Look, all I ask is three things: I don’t want to play that stupid doctor, I don’t want to see any a-to-m scenes, and I get to fight a giant spider in the third act.”
The producer has now confirmed to EW that the lawsuit has been dropped and Laser, who memorably portrayed a deranged surgeon in the first film, will play a lead role in the franchise’s third entry. Laser will not, however, play the same character he did in Human Centipede. According to the producer, Laser and Human Centipede 2 star Laurence R. Harvey are set to play a new, villainous duo “with a storyline no one will expect.” Ilona Six also announced that “a big American celebrity” is set to appear in the film, which will start shooting in the U.S. this May. Finally, the producer confirmed the third film will feature a human centipede of more than 500 people.
That big American celebrity? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Actor Laser was just as conciliatory in his own statement, saying, “I never ever would have thought that all our differences and misunderstandings would in the end lead to an even deeper and warmer understanding and appreciation of each other. In this regard, I am actually thankful about the whole fuss because it turned out to be an advantage and a wonderful present for our film and for our friendship.” [EW]
Well gee, isn’t this heartwarming. This is better than the time the stars of Pee-Covered Jizz Dumpsters 27 forgave each other after Tony thought Richie swindled him out of some Sugar Ray tickets.
I want more like this!
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