“I HAAATE MERLOT!!!”
According to a number of very important, very legitimate news sources that report only the Earth-shakingest of scoopy scoops, Paul Giamatti is in talks for the sequel to The Amazing Spider-Man, in which he’ll be playing a villain called “The Rhino.” The Rhino wears a suit that gives him super strength and super speed, and has a big horn on the top of his head. And now, I’m guessing, he’ll also have some kind of crippling neurosis. 
Paul Giamatti is in talks to join The Amazing Spider-Man 2 as the villain known as The Rhino, and Felicity Jones is negotiating for an unspecified role.
The duo would bolster an already impressive cast. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are back as Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy, Jamie Foxx is portraying bad guy Electro, Shailene Woodley is Mary Jane Watson, and Dane DeHaan is Harry Osborne.
The Rhino first appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #41 in 1966 as a thug from a Soviet Bloc country who wore a superhuman suit that made him invulnerable while giving him superstrength and superspeed. It also had a deadly horn on top.
In more recent comics, he became a sympathetic figure who found himself allying with Spider-Man. [HollywoodReporter]
Sony plans to rush into… er, begin production next month. I hope they write a really good motivation for the villain in this one, like they did for in the last Spider-Man. “Hey, what if he tried to turn everyone else into rhinos and then climbed a bridge for some reason? That’d be cool, right?”
I’m okay with the absurd motivations, but why not go all out with it? They keep trying to make the bad guy this disgruntled scientist who starts out a genius and then goes wrong, and then he has this incredibly convoluted master plan for world domination, and his plan doesn’t really make sense, but then the movie and everyone in it has to pretend like it does. Why not just go full crazy? Why does he have to be a sane madman? Like, maybe the bad guy kills a whole bunch of people at a football stadium like Bane, but instead of making a big speech he just goes out there and starts shoving bananas up his ass because he likes the attention. They need more people like me in these focus groups.
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The Rhino’s motivation stems from his getting shafted for writing credit on the Declaration of Independence. Fucking Jefferson.
This seems like a terrible casting. You need someone who has a large physical presence, like the Rock, C-Tate, or Rosie O’donnell
Perhaps Mary Jane Watson has the temerity to serve him Merlot. If she’s still a waitress. Never mind if she’s a flying saucer pilot or Latverian terrorist.
Of course, comics, look at the picture, dummy.
They’ll just put his face on a CGI Rhino body while he shouts things with crazy vocal effects. I hope they keep the character Russian so Giamatti can speak in a goofy accent.
Topher Grace finally stopped waiting by his phone, accepting the fact that you need to be a jacked up beefcake to believably play a comic book jacked up beefcake, then this happens. He must be an emotional wreck right now! If you happen to weigh less than 35 lbs. or have graham cracker bones – stay out of his way!
He’s actually going to be playing a new character called the Whino. He’s not really a super villain so much as just a middle-aged guy who bitches and moans all the time.
That’s his secret identity. At night he hits the corner with a bottle of Thunderbird in a paper bag.
I was hoping the character would be called “Rino,” and his secret identity was as a congressman from Texas who, against party discipline, was in favor of amnesty for illegal aliens and health-care reform.
@Rawhead
That’s the best idea ever.
Allan Moore?
The other dude from Sideways was the Sandman. Maybe they’ll cast Virginia Madsen as Mary Jane. Mary Jane’s never been a cougar.
Maybe they should cast the Asian chick from Sideways as Rois Rane.
Sorry. That was terrible of me. Low hanging fruit I couldn’t resist.
I wish he had been wearing the Rhino suit for all of John Adams.
The black rhinoceros is critically endangered. And also, not black. So Spider-man is a poacher, but the racism charges ring hollow.
Jamie Foxx is playing Electro? That’s outstanding. I can’t wait to see how they work in “Damn ho, I’m Electro”
I bet he does a signature dance move called the Electro Slide.
No, no, I’ll punch myself for that one.
If Jamie Foxx is playing Electro in this one, then they’ve got an amazing opportunity to call it ‘Spider Man 2: Electro Boogaloo’.
Paul Giamatti is one of my favourite actors.
But this seems kinda ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as the giant Rhys Ifans lizard I guess.
“It also has a deadly horn on top.” is my go-to deal closer.
Can we get a Paul Giamatti face photoshopped on a Rhino body now?????
[www.avclub.com]
A sequel to a Superhero movie?! Looks like we’re going to need TWO supervillians in this one!! It’s the only way to hide our painfully expositional writing! (The Dark Knight being the obvious exception).
Batman Returns didn’t suck because they went the “multiple villains” route, and the writing wasn’t terrible – the movie was just too damn weird.
Fair. Batman Returns was pretty much just Tim Burton off the studio’s leash. But I can’t say an ill word about Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman.
@Mike
Or at Christopher Walken for hucking her out window.