“Mustang, this is Big Top, bringing out the full package,” coincidentally, is also what I say into a walkie-talkie right before I get arrested for indecent exposure.
As you can see, the trailer has just hit for Antoine Fuqua’s Olympus Has Fallen, starring Gerard Butler as a Secret Service agent stuck in the White House after terrorists take over and Speaker of the House Morgan Freeman has to become acting president. If you ask me, Morgan Freeman becoming president seems like a win-win for everyone, but according to screenwriters Creighton Rothenburger (HOLY LACROSSE NAME, BATMAN!) and Katherine Benedkt, this is considered “conflict.” Moreover, this seems to have everything you’d expect in an action movie:
It’s Die Hard in a _____!
Explosions.
CUT TO: “…Oh. My. God.”
But what it isn’t is White House Down, the original Die Hard-in-the-White-House movie starring our boy Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx (yes, this is a real movie, with Independence Day‘s Roland Emmerich directing). Does Olympus Has Fallen have C-Tates as agent Cole Baretta? Does it have Chet Haze as Cole Baretta’s protege, agent-in-training JJ Streetz? Does it have Cole Baretta’s partner, a talking pit bull voiced by Pit Bull? Does it have zombie attacks, or the ghosts of Tupac and Biggie showing up to give Cole Baretta advice like Obi-wan Kenobi? No, it has none of these things. Granted, unless Sony gives Burnsy that re-write job he’s been pushing for, neither will White House Down. But White House Down gave us the room to dream, and that’s what’s important. So Antoine Fuquoff with this non-C-Tates-having garbage.
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Man, Harold really didn’t take kindly to getting sent to Gitmo that one time.
Is Gerard Butler trying to go for some record of most movies in a Walmart bargain bin?
Everything about this movie screams cable original.
To borrow from my former best friend, Channing Tatum, dis B sum bullllllllllllllsheeeeeeeit.
Can’t tell you just how disappointed I am that C-Tates won’t be called Cole Baretta and there’s no Chet Haze. You have to be more careful with parodying how ridiculous Hollywood is because this really got my hopes up. Are you listening, coked up Hollywood types, these guys know what the public wants, let them loose on your summer fodder.
And as much as we all love Tatum now, I still always think of you describing him as the mumbliest wigger every time I hear his name.
This Asian guy gets his ass kicked in every movie. Bond, Diesel, the guy from P.S. I love you.
I’ll Take Django and C-tates over Gerald
Well, I’ve been lobbying for Hollywood to do something different with that “Big meeting with the Japanese businessmen” trope for years now… partial credit awarded
You either die the president or live long enough to see yourself become morgan freeman
You’re not too bad there guy.
This is a companion piece to the new Red Dawn, right? Does anyone know if the bad guys are Chinese-whoops-now-they’re-North Koreans?
“Damn it Mr. President, you fell for the ‘American penis so big’ trap again?”
Isn’t Gerad Butler a little “doughy” for a secret service agent? I mean I can see it if he was in charge of the counterfit money division.
Plus, wasn’t he born in Scotland? Isn’t there some sort of rule about that? You know, Secret Service agents have to be American citizens? (answer: yes, although to be fair, Butler could be playing a Yank)
Next thing you know, we’ll have some doofus from Austria serving as governor of a large state on the West Coast.
Sure, Captain Kirk and Pa Cartwright were both Canadians, but hey, Canada is America’s toupee.
oh shit…. classy.
i always said canada is america’s bitch..
So lets see… The guy that went through the Special Forces program AND the year long interview process for the Secret Service, that was given the security clearance and vetted for a POTUS detail is your last guy alive in the White House and the 4 star general says “but can we trust him?”.
Fuck this fucking garbage in its stupid fucking face.
And on top of that, he probably already shot and killed ten guys by that point. TROPES AND TROPES AND TROPES AND TROPES!
King Leonidas with a gun……… I’ll still watch tha damn thing.
Is it just me or is the CGI distractingly bad in that trailer? It’s like a fucking SyFy B-movie.
It’s not you. The White House explosion sequences in particular look like temporary effects before the real stuff gets added in.
Gerry Butler wakes up drunk, right?
And bloated. And already chewing on something, apparently. It’s like he’s got cud in his mouth.
Did NBC pass on this for its Sunday Movie of the Week?
This could only be saved by C-Tates fighting Seagal – who would be wearing his kevlar kimono!
But do we see Katherine Heigl’s tits?
no one cares about her… she’s like a cow……..
I for one am excited to see Bill Russell play the acting President.
I liked this better when it was the Vince Flynn book Transfer of Power.
I second that motion. I thought hollywood would have picked up on that years ago. Book was written in 96-97.
Rothenburger is NOT a lacrosse name, bro. If anything it feels like a time traveler who changed their name at future-Ellis Island to avoid coming to the US with the name “Roethlisberger.”
test 4
I’m confused. You’re asking us to boycott the movie that’s NOT directed by Roland Emmerich? That…doesn’t make sense.
Oh, boycott Antoine Fuqua. I can get behind that, too. I suppose. *heart not as much into it*