Django Unchained opened in 54 international locations over the weekend, earning the most in Germany, followed by France. It outdid Inglourious Basterds‘ opening by 30 percent, “despite snowy conditions throughout most of Europe this weekend,” according to Variety. It did well everywhere, but in Russia, Django played second fiddle to an unlikely competitor: Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters. …Yeah, I don’t know either, dude.

“Django” lost to Paramount’s early bow of “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters,” grossing $7.3 million, 98% from 3D.

Man, Russians are f*cking weird. Or at least, they must really be impressed with 3D over there. Or maybe they just wanted to lord it over us that they finally got something before we did, in a place where dudes in mullets still go to clubs to rock out to Duran Duran songs.

I haven’t seen Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters yet (it opens Friday and my press screening is Thursday night, which should tell you something), but it’s generally a bad sign when your movie is called “Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters” and the first line of the trailer is “my name is Gretel and this is my brother Hansel.” As if there’s someone sitting on their couch going “Wait, Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters is about Hansel and Gretel?! WELL THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!”

I see no one learned from John Carter or Jack Reacher marketing. If there’s one thing Hollywood’s good at, it’s not learning lessons.

Is it just me, or is Gemma Arterton’s nasally voice like fingernails on a chalkboard?