I didn’t cover the NY Times’ epic piece on the Bret Easton Ellis-scripted, Paul Shrader-directed, Lindsay Lohan-starring The Canyons, only because the extent of Lindsay Lohan’s fascinating yet predictable brand of crazy would be hard to fit into a block quote. Basically, she was constantly late, would disagree with her director and fight with the cast and crew, would disappear for days on end, run up huge bar and restaurant tabs that kept the crew from getting paid, lock herself in rooms when she was supposed to be shooting, and generally be a huge pain in the ass. Pulled a Lohan, say. Yet through it all, director Shrader still wanted to cast Lindsay in his next film and even felt confident about The Canyons getting into Sundance.

Welp:

The producers of Lindsay Lohan’s film, “The Canyons,” are stunned that their flick has been rejected by The Sundance Film Festival and they think it’s largely Lindsay’s fault.
We’re told the Sundance people reached out to producers to screen the movie, and we’re told producers were led to believe it was a shoo-in.
But we found out Sundance passed on the film recently, and the film’s producers believe it might be due in part to the hijinks of its troubled star.  They think Lindsay was a “turn off” to the highfalutin Sundance folks.
“The Canyons” producer, Braxton Pope, tells us his agents William Morris/Endeavor are having a screening for buyers at the end of the month and a number of big companies are interested. [TMZ]

“Braxton Pope” is the most Hollywood rich kid name I’ve ever heard, but if they thought having Lindsay Lohan in their film was going to help them get into Sundance, they severely misjudged their audience. For Sundance you’d be better served casting Jennifer Lawrence’s brother or Adrien Grenier’s band, and the movie better have someone living with a disability, or living a rich fantasy life. “Hushpuppy Hears a Who,” starring Braden Lawrence and 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, say.

This? This just looks like a porno but with fighting instead of sex. So… like another Lifetime movie, I guess. Also, Paris Hilton already did the “oops I can’t find my phone thing.”

Why does he have an iMac on his bookshelf?

Here’s how they describe this scene in the NY Times piece:

By midweek, Schrader and Lohan were locked in battle. One afternoon, he shot some of the lead-up to the movie’s pivotal sex scene. Lohan wasn’t happy.

“I hope you got my triple chin on that one,” Lohan said to no one directly. “That shot was hideous.”

Later that afternoon, it was time to rehearse a fight scene in which Christian physically confronts Tara over infidelity. Schrader tried to describe to Deen how he wanted him to throw Lohan to the ground. Deen nodded and went through the scene at half-speed. (It was a constant friction point between the two actors, Deen conserving his energy and Lohan demanding full effort in rehearsals.) After a while, Schrader cut in to show Deen what he wanted, lightly moving Lohan and turning her toward the floor.

“James, you see that?”

Deen nodded, but Schrader wasn’t convinced. So he grabbed Lohan, tripped her over his left leg and body-slammed her to the floor. Lohan screamed, and the crew gasped. But she bounced up with a smile.

“That was great! Want to do it again?”

Schrader said it wouldn’t be necessary. The next morning they filmed the scene for real. Deen came to life; throwing the negligée-wearing Lohan hard to the ground and pounding his fist into a wall with such fury I wondered if he had broken his hand. Lohan lay slumped on the floor, her hands guarding her face, shoulders shaking, tears pouring down her cheeks. Between takes, she listened to Ryan Adams’s cover of “Wonderwall.” After three shots, Schrader said he was satisfied, and Lohan fumbled for a cigarette. She headed downstairs, and someone complimented her work.

“Well, I’ve got a lot of experience with that from my dad.” [NYTimes]

See? Parents can have a positive influence on their children’s acting careers. Incidentally, when Lindsay inevitably transitions into actual porno, I think “Lindsay Canyons” would be a solid porn name.

[clip via JoBlo]