
Poor Lindsay Lohan has been having a rough time lately. First, there was the 7,000-word profile in New York Times magazine about what a pain in the ass it was to work with her on The Canyons. Then The Canyons got rejected from Sundance. And now, it’s been rejected by South by Southwest, with a source saying the film has “an ugliness and a deadness to it.” And that’s just when they were looking into Lindsay’s eyes! You’re welcome, Jay Leno, now you don’t have to write that joke tonight.
Sources tell THR that SXSW has joined Sundance in rejecting the erotic thriller. A festival insider tells THR that the Bret Easton Ellis-penned, Paul Schrader-directed Canyons — which features tons of nudity, including au naturel shots of Lohan — suffers from significant “quality issues.”
Says a festival insider, “It’s got an ugliness and a deadness to it.” Canyons producer Braxton Pope says the filmmakers are still awaiting official word from the festival. [hollywoodreporter]
Moar like the CanYAWNS, am I right? If I saw this Lo-han-ging piece of Pope, I’d drive Easton until my car James Deened into a tree. /fakeGeneShalit
I haven’t seen the film, but I’ve seen some shithouse films at film festivals (*cough* Buried *cough, cough*), and to me this smacks of film festivals desperately needing to assert that they’re somehow “above” this kind of celebrity. See also: Robert Redford slamming Paris Hilton for showing up to Sundance. So yeah, it’s fun to make fun of Lindsay Lohan being a train wreck, but festival organizers don’t get a pass on being smug hypocrites either. They’ll say it’s about the quality of the film, but more likely she just doesn’t have the right kind of celebrity for them. They want stuff like Adrien Grenier doing a documentary about paparazzi, or Turtle’s lyrical, semi-autobiographical think-piece about the nature of celebrity (doesn’t exist yet, thankfully). The movie itself will be just as insufferable as The Canyons, but the star will show up and wear a nice scarf and pretend it’s all about the art while collecting the same gift bags, and everyone’s happy. Why, we can’t have Lindsay Lohan coming here turning our nice fart-sniffing festival into some playground for dilettantes! Think of the scandal!
By the way, how were the reviews for the last Bret Easton Ellis-scripted film presumably of sufficient quality to be admitted to Sundance, hmm?
“A lurid, soapy, moralistic melodrama so mucky you’ll need a shower.” -Film4
“the response to “The Informers” when it premiered at Sundance was so overwhelmingly negative — like laugh-out-loud, slow-down-to-look-at-the-train-wreck negative — that I’m honestly surprised the distributor had the guts to proceed with the theatrical release. ” -Eric D. Snider
“There is a weird, almost comic absence of insight and perspective here. But it is a joke without humour and without a punchline.” -Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian
‘The Informers’: You’ve seen this before, and you still won’t care. – St. Paul Pioneer Press
“…completely bereft of any sort of POINT, The Informers is an ugly, blank slate of a film.” -Cinematical
“The pace is unbearably tedious, and most of the main roles are so thoroughly unlikable that no matter how sensationalized the action is on screen, it all just feels boring.” -USA Today
“It’s possible this role killed Brad Renfro.” -Honolulu Advertiser
“It’s possible this role killed Brad Renfro” is one of my favorite pull quotes of all time. But despite The Informers’ 13 percent recommended rating, that one didn’t have Lindsay Lohan or her low-art baggage. Come on, guys, at least she’s trying. SHE’S GETTING NAKED IN A MICRO-BUDGET INDIE! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, YOU MONSTERS!



Woah, woah, woah, let’s back the truck up here. You didn’t like Buried?
Buried was garbage. I saw it at the first midnight screening at Sundance and half the audience was asleep. And then half of those somehow turned around and gave it great reviews. That was like a filmmakers’ exercise in “look what I can do!” Okay, but why?
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
I liked “Buried 2: Even Darker”. But my favorite film in the trilogy is “Buried 3: Dead”
Ebert loved Buried. Which is pretty much all you have to say to know it’s garbage. That guy loves everything these days.
Hitchcock would’ve given us a reason to care about this guy, made him less of an idiot, and provided an ending that wasn’t a sad cum bubble falling on his leg.
I think I’m gonna stop reading the internet now because I’m not gonna read anything better than “sad cum bubble” the rest of the day.
Fair enough, Vince, although the concept of James Stewart in a coffin for 90 minutes pretty much sells itself.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who read this and went wtf? But I have quite the stiffie for Reynolds, I will admit.
The Informers was Brad Renfro’s last movie, hopefully the Bret Easton Ellis curse kills Lohan too.
Seconded.
If all the coke on Hollywood cant kill her, nothing will.
I like almost all Ellis’ books and his twitter is amazing. I wonder if he just writes shitty scripts or if he’s just gotten shit directors. Schrader generally knows what he’s doing but he is getting old.
The Canyons are also Lindsay’s pet name for her vulva, and they are also ugly and dead.
Yeah, but The Informers had a shitton of naked Amber Heard.
Yeah, but this movie has a ton of naked Lindsay Loha- oh, okay, I see your argument now.
I see what you’re saying, but despite its flaws, I actually dug the minimalist, Hitchcockian vibe of it. I found and early draft of the screenplay before it came out and I remember there being some differences between the one I read and the film — mainly, the snake/fire was replaced by fire ants, which seemed slightly more believable. Of course, then the screenwriter went and wrote that hackneyed abortion ATM and completely erased the credibility I gave him for Buried.
Re: that NYT article,
George C. Scott was right.
I’m torn. I appreciate your pro-nudity stance and yet I appreciate their anti-Lohan position. And football in the groin did have a football in the groin.
The people at Sundance remind me of little children–the kind who don’t invite that poor friendless freak in every school just out of spite
“Turd on a Stick is daringly inaccessible, but the film’s sheer beauty and grace will undoubtedly mesmerize the common base-born, middle-American into stunned silence. It is glorious!” -Tristian Sandford-Wellington, Citizens of Culture Kingdom magazine
Wait a minute, I thought to get into a film festival your movie had to have “an ugliness and a deadness to it”. THEY’VE CHANGED THE RULES ON POOR LI-LO!
Plan C is to pitch this movie as a Cinemax original movie
Why even bother with the festival snobs when this movie should just I Know Who Killed Me its way into our theaters and our hearts?
The fact that these snobby film festivals are rejecting this movie just kinda makes me want to see it more now. If this is some kind of ploy to drum up publicity, I dare say its working.
Reverse Psychology or GTFO. Or not.What do I care?
Ohhhhh my fucking god that clip from the Canyons is bad. I mean reeeeeally bad.
Sundance is where the rich artsy crowd sniffs their own farts. SXSW is where wannabes and dragrats tweets about the famous people whose farts they sniffed.
If that clip is the two and half minutes of the film they actually chose to show, I’m absolutely terrified as to what they chose not to show us.
I’m still a sucker for Lohan nudity. I’ll check out the screencaps in a few weeks or whenever.
But James Deen was supposed to become a legitimate actor after this guys!
His penis is so method.
“WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, YOU MONSTERS!”
I want her to stop half-assing it and go make pr0n already