
“Just relax and let the laziness take you, I learned this from the Happy Madison guys.”
Not surprisingly, Zero Dark Thirty waterboarded surfed a wave of good and bad publicity that’s been building for months to a $24 million gross for the weekend. Analysts say an eventual gross near $100 million is a possibility, though Sony shouldn’t start patting themselves on the back just yet, considering that other Navy SEAL movie, with no famous actors, directors, awards or acclaim, actually out-opened Zero Dark last February, with $24.5 million.
Meanwhile, remember the trailer for that Wayans spoof that we’ve been bombarded with all they way through the holiday season? The one with jokes such as “fart,” “that kitchen has a lot of pots,” “the psychic is a gay,” and “Yeah, I kicked you in yo ghost balls!”? That one? Yeah, that one made $18.8 million dollars. I don’t even know anymore, man.
In second place, A Haunted House grossed an estimated $18.8 million from 2,160 locations (which translated to a higher per-theater average than Zero Dark Thirty). [!!! -Ed.] That’s the best start for a spoof movie since 2006′s Date Movie ($19.1 million), though it’s generally in line with Epic Movie ($18.6 million) and Meet the Spartans ($18.5 million) as well. Using these as comparable titles, A Haunted House should ultimately wind up with between $35 and $40 million, making this a solid early-year performer for distributor Open Road Entertainment.
The audience was 58 percent female, 48 percent African American, and 30 percent Latino, and they gave the movie a weak “B-” CinemaScore. [BoxOfficeMojo]
That’s right, even a self-selecting group that thought seeing A Haunted House was a good idea, based on all the fart beds and ghost balls, even those people thought it was just so-so. Let us remember, Kevin James’ Here Comes the Boom received an A cinemascore. Simply stunning. If you want to make lots of money writing comedy, just remember two things: never self-edit, and never spend more than 30 seconds writing a joke.
I mean Nick Swardson playing a gay guy? How do they come up with this stuff!

[via BoxOfficeMojo]



So in video game review score terminology what number out of 10 is a B-?
9/10 which is the LOWEST video game critics are allowed to rate games.
That’s not fair. I saw an 8.5 on IGN once and let me tell you…that game was a real piece of shit.
Ghost balls and fart jokes are what this nation needs in these trying times.
“Would you like an egg in these trying times?”
If we can trust anyone with a spoof film, its a Wayans.
Let’s just say, the release for Zero Dark Thirty was poorly timed. The real-life event just happened, and the 24 hour news cycle already beat that dead horse to a pulp. I probably know more about that operation than the SEALs involved. So, why would I pay money to see something that Wolf Blitzer has already exhausted from every possible angle imaginable?
I don’t know how many times I screamed “WAIT UNTIL THE GODDAMNED MOVIE IS ACTUALLY OUT!” to start arguing about it, but no one listened to me.
I think “Something Wolf Blitzer has exhausted from every possible angle imaginable” would be a great name for a sex act.
The “Wolf Blitz” for short.
It looks like Haunted House made it’s money back in week #1, which means they started filming a sequel this morning.
A wise man once said, “No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.”
To which Friedberg, Seltzer, and the Wayans Brothers added: “That is NOT a problem.”
I just watched the trailer. Wow. WOW. That was pretty fucking awful. I’m sad for the future of mankind, really.
At least Nick Swardson can say he’s been modest hit. It’s been a while.
You know when you watch something and you don’t know anyone in the clip (or at least don’t recognize anyone) and you say, “That’s a Wayans film, right?” then regardless the answer of the question you know it’s a bad film.
I now will make it a point to haunt them upon my death.
Wow! “Selling Out Your Whole Race” made 19 million? That’s insane.
Yes making a lazy, arguably unfunny comedy which happens to be made by black people is “selling out your race”. Gee I wonder if you’re white or black……
I was pointing out the fact that the trailer was filled with lazy stereotypes of african american, thus “Selling out your race”.
It’s still an ignorant comment and doesn’t apply. Does having a “hot, dumb, slutty blonde” in a film ; a lazy stereotype widely used in white movies, constitute selling out your race? It’s funny that specific criticism is only leveled at people of color.
“The audience was 58 percent female, 48 percent African American, and 30 percent Latino, and they gave the movie a weak “B-” CinemaScore.”
The under-served Mulatto Transvestite Demographic has spoken! Now how about a little “shumpin’ shumpin’” for the movie-going Octoroon Hermaphrodites? Your move, Hollywood!
Did you not see “Crash”?
Holy Hell how do they make that for $2.5M? I mean I can see how they got the chick from “Smart Guy” (maybe they worked around her shirt at Staples or something) but thats not even half of what Cedric The Entertainer spends on fedoras each month.
Which is still only half of what Terrence Howard spends. But he was all tied up in not being in Iron Man 3.
Too soon….
I don’t know why you’re all up in arms, the article said it only performed as well as those delightful spoof movies normally do!
Let us never speak of this again.
Saw ZDT last night, and without having seen A Haunted House, assume they are of equal depth.
Holy shit. Did Here Comes the Boom actually get a flat A Cinemascore?
Vince, what do you think of Cinemascore? I hear it referenced all the time and don’t really know how it compares with something like RT.
It’s basically just a letter grade given by Joe Sixpack and Charlie Cheesesnack at the end of the film. It’s a good gauge of how a movie’s going to play among total morons.
I’m never surprised by the absurdly high cinemascores of obviously bad movies but I always marvel at the really low scores. How insanely bad does a movie have to be to get a bad score? It like those healthy cereals that taste like dirt and grass yet still get good taste reviews and the advertisers boast “our cereal makes you healthy!” Ah no, you meant to say healthy people buy our cereal. There’s a difference.
If you’re voluntarily shelling out money and giving up your time to go see a movie, it’s likely not because the trailer was just so compelling as much as you were the target audience anyway. In this case the target audience was the majority of the actual audience so a B- makes sense.
Also not counting school, Vince, when is B- ever considered a so-so score? I bet if most people had to rate their overall happiness in life it would be around a B. Not entirely there but far enough away from F not to feel like a total failure.
Did anyone catch that commercial where they were citing twitter feeds for reviews? Also, assuming they are real feeds, did anyone catch the handle of the person who said “funniest movie ever” so I can berate and shame them for having terrible taste in movies/comedy/media?