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There are only a couple of new streaming additions to point out: Alps and The Adventures of Tintin. You know what though? There may be more; I’ve been kind of lazy with keeping up with the Netflix additions this past week, so if you’re aware of others, do share them in the comments. As for this week’s DVDs, Mansome is streaming, so hooray for that. If you’d rather not spend your time watching men talk about their body hair, here are my Netflix suggestions, hand-picked just for you:
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Rounders
Edward Norton –who co-stars in The Bourne Legacy- co-stars with Matt Damon, who wasn’t in The Bourne Legacy, but is still the titular Bourne nonetheless, in this poker flick. It also co-stars John Turturro of Rehearsal For A Sicilian Tragedy. If only this flick had Shaggy 2 Dope in it, it would be the perfect Netflix suggestion for this week.
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Red State
Reading Chareth Cutestory’s Kevin Smith article yesterday and seeing the comments section explode with Smith’s defenders, I knew I’d have to find a way to try to bait those same commenters with my weekly DVD post. I’m happy to report, therefore, that Why Stop Now’s Melissa Leo is also in this Kevin Smith movie. Of course I haven’t seen this movie, and I never will, because Kevin Smith is a fat, talentless, hack whose only reason for existing is to single-fat-handedly make sure that the hockey jersey industry doesn’t buckle under the weight of the NHL lockout. It’s buckling under the weight of Smith’s enormous ass instead.
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Human Trafficking
This is that Mira Sorvino TV movie that isn’t Trade Of Innocents, but might as well be. Actually, this is probably better because instead of Dermot Mulroney, it has Donald Sutherland and Robert Carlyle. You could watch this nearly three-hour movie about people being kidnapped and forced into prostitution every December and make it a holiday tradition. Beats watching that overrated Will Ferrell movie Elf for the 100th time.
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Barton Fink
As much as he probably doesn’t mind the attention his role of Jesus in The Big Lebowski gives him, Rehearsal For A Sicilian Tragedy’s John Turturro’s real Coen Brothers showcase is this film in which he has the title role. The film starts off slowly, but eventually picks up –and I don’t want to say any more than that. Also, I can only imagine I’m not the only person who first discovered this movie as a kid as a direct result of the Simpsons clip above. The difference is, I liked it even as an 11-year-old. Probably because John Goodman’s character reminded me so much of my brother. Oddly enough, that brother and I don’t really talk much these days. Oh well.



I’m not sure why, but I would love to see a compilation of all John Goodman’s screaming scenes in Coen Brother movies.
But Jesse Eisenberg in the trailer for Why Stop Now is wearing a hoodie! That’s what all the cool kids wear!** Why wouldn’t they go see the movie?! Stupid kids, y u not predictable sheep?
**he’s also a dead ringer for the Unabomber but nobody remembers him anymore.
[upload.wikimedia.org]
I wish my van got me the kind of action that the ‘Creep Van’ was getting. That looked hot.
“Actually, this is probably better because instead of Dermot Mulroney…” I think you meant Dylan McDermott. You’re welcome.
I thought something like this and resisted typing it. “Someone else will get around to it!”
I feel like ‘Age of Hobbits’ could potentially be more entertaining that the actual film. It’ll sure as hell be shorter.
Maybe Peter Jackson could learn a thing or two from Asylum and cast all his future films with Filipino midgets.
Shorter. Heh.
Backwards is not The Dark Backward rebooted then. No wonder it failed.
Spoiler Alert: See that action shot of Bourne above? That’s the only action in the movie, and it happens at the end of the movie. Dumb movie.
I’m not sure what he’s doing. Taking a photo with his phone? Giving his phone number to some pedestrian? Signaling for a left-turn? Making a commercial for Milky Way Dark? Saying “You da man! No, YOU da man!” to his bro?
The ending was also the worst part of the movie IMO…or the second worst. It was just one extremely long chase that eventually ended.
“White Americans ‘help’ adult veterans of Joseph Kony’s child army by having them put on a play…”
It makes more sense when you find out their squad was called ‘The Little Rascals.’
Not a movie, but Todd and the Book of Pure Evil, is streaming….you’re welcome.
If you need some classic chop-socky cheese in your life but cant wait for Miami Connection to arrive at your house, there are some old Chuck Norris flicks that are streaming like “A Force of One”. A serial killer is stalking cops so they call in karate master Chuck and his Mustache to bring the killer to justice.
Seriously check this trailer out: [www.youtube.com]
I couldn’t believe I could make overt 500 doallars a week jacking it for Jesus’s. Splooging for the saviour is such an easy gig job, I do it often and am getting sore but rolling in the dough.
haha, labtop
i guess i cant watch any of these, i can’t afford one of them ddv players. and my neighbor is starting to suspect that i’m stealing his internet. because i’m sitting in his living room and he’s looking at me right now.