Why are all the extras pooping in their pants?
We’re getting closer to Christmas, and Hollywood has something for everyone to stuff in their stocking this week, assuming everyone wants The Bourne Legacy, Ted, or Ice Age: Continental Drift. If those titles don’t get you excited, there are plenty of other options that didn’t get the theatrical releases those films did. We’ve got flicks with Jesse Eisenberg and James Van Der Beek. We’ve got films about child sex-slaves and shaving and puppeteers. There’s bigfoots and zombies and hipsters and hobbits. There’s even a film so FilmDrunk-approved, its theatrical run was literally presented by FilmDrunk.
The DVDs:
The Bourne Legacy
Ted
Ice Age: Continental Drift
Why Stop Now
Backwards
Miami Connection
Trade Of Innocents
Mansome
Rehearsal For A Sicilian Tragedy
Dreams Of A Life
Insane Clown Posse & Twiztid’s American Psycho Tour Documentary
Night Claws
The Life Zone
Upon A Midnight Clear
Nesting
Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same
Age Of The Hobbits
Osombie
Creep Van
Halloween Party
Streaming: Check out your choices here.
Can’t remember which flick has FilmDrunk’s coveted blessing? Continue reading to find out. Want to find out if the film about child sex-slaves and the film about puppeteers is the same film? Continue reading. Want to know which films I fairly arbitrarily suggest you watch on Netflix? Click the streaming link above, but be aware: one of this week’s DVDs is targeted at Juggalos, and you won’t know which one it is unless you continue reading without skipping right to the last page.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/32/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/imacyborgbutthatsok-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/if-you-liked-the-wolf-of-wall-street-youll-love-the-wolves-of-wall-street-starring-eric-roberts-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/Marilyn-Monroe-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/michael-cera-plays-a-weird-fruity-psycho-in-magic-magic-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
I’m not sure why, but I would love to see a compilation of all John Goodman’s screaming scenes in Coen Brother movies.
But Jesse Eisenberg in the trailer for Why Stop Now is wearing a hoodie! That’s what all the cool kids wear!** Why wouldn’t they go see the movie?! Stupid kids, y u not predictable sheep?
**he’s also a dead ringer for the Unabomber but nobody remembers him anymore.
[upload.wikimedia.org]
I wish my van got me the kind of action that the ‘Creep Van’ was getting. That looked hot.
“Actually, this is probably better because instead of Dermot Mulroney…” I think you meant Dylan McDermott. You’re welcome.
I thought something like this and resisted typing it. “Someone else will get around to it!”
I feel like ‘Age of Hobbits’ could potentially be more entertaining that the actual film. It’ll sure as hell be shorter.
Maybe Peter Jackson could learn a thing or two from Asylum and cast all his future films with Filipino midgets.
Shorter. Heh.
Backwards is not The Dark Backward rebooted then. No wonder it failed.
Spoiler Alert: See that action shot of Bourne above? That’s the only action in the movie, and it happens at the end of the movie. Dumb movie.
I’m not sure what he’s doing. Taking a photo with his phone? Giving his phone number to some pedestrian? Signaling for a left-turn? Making a commercial for Milky Way Dark? Saying “You da man! No, YOU da man!” to his bro?
The ending was also the worst part of the movie IMO…or the second worst. It was just one extremely long chase that eventually ended.
“White Americans ‘help’ adult veterans of Joseph Kony’s child army by having them put on a play…”
It makes more sense when you find out their squad was called ‘The Little Rascals.’
Not a movie, but Todd and the Book of Pure Evil, is streaming….you’re welcome.
If you need some classic chop-socky cheese in your life but cant wait for Miami Connection to arrive at your house, there are some old Chuck Norris flicks that are streaming like “A Force of One”. A serial killer is stalking cops so they call in karate master Chuck and his Mustache to bring the killer to justice.
Seriously check this trailer out: [www.youtube.com]
I couldn’t believe I could make overt 500 doallars a week jacking it for Jesus’s. Splooging for the saviour is such an easy gig job, I do it often and am getting sore but rolling in the dough.
haha, labtop
i guess i cant watch any of these, i can’t afford one of them ddv players. and my neighbor is starting to suspect that i’m stealing his internet. because i’m sitting in his living room and he’s looking at me right now.