People like to badmouth the choice of Zack Snyder to direct Warner’s Superman reboot, Man of Steel, but if you throw out Sucker Punch, which was indeed terrible, he did a decent job with The Watchmen, and if you can handle Dr. Manhattan, it seems to follow that you should be able to handle Superman, who’s just Dr. Manhattan with underpants. Anyway, here’s the latest trailer for Man of Steel, screenplay by David S. Goyer and Christpher Nolan, starring Henry Cavill as Superman, Dianne Lane as Martha Kent (way too attractive to be named “Martha”), and cameos from Kevin Costner as Pa Kent, Russell Crowe as Jor-El, Michael Shannon as General Zod, and Amy Adams as Lois Lane. There don’t seem to be any Justice League hints, thank God, but neither does Zod flog himself or drown any Jews a la Boardwalk Empire. Call it a wash.
It looks pretty good for the most part, but I hate how they have to do that thing that every hero’s origin story movie does where in the first act, the townspeople are all mad at the protagonist for some completely unrealistic reason.
“Hey, Clark saved a bus full of school children!”
“Yeah, but he did it by bein’ different.”
“LET’S GET HIM!”
Sidenote: You think Zack Snyder ever gets You think Zack Snyder ever gets pissed about being confused for Zak Snyder, Zac Snyder, or Zach Schneider?
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At least we know what Agent Van Alden will look like in the 32nd season of Boardwalk Empire about his Beatnik years.
“Good morning sir. I’m from the planet Krypton and I’d like to talk to you about Farraday electric irons”
Looks like they kept all of the Jesus parallels from Superman Returns. Yay…
If there was one take away from that movie, it’s that people will always clamor for more Emo Superman, floating in the air, depressed and not in any conceivable way punching things into space.
And it will be punctuated with mournful choral music.
The Dark Night Rises effed up a perfect opportunity to give us a bearded batman… I’m glad Snyder isn’t a pussy like that Nolan character.
You missed a silent k. For punishment, MOAR BANEGOD EARRAPE!
1:53 – he kneels before Zod.
finish up them ‘taters, I’m gonna go fondle my sweaters
i mean fondue some cheddar
way too attractive to be named “Martha”
Coincidentally that’s the same way I feel about Martha Washington
Barbara and her Bush have a dicklick ready for you.
I’ve decided that Dianne Lane and Kevin Costner will make acceptable in-laws. She’s a terrible cook though so next Thanksgiving I’m liable to get drunk and tell her the turkey was only moist and delicious because Clark saved it. DAMN IT WOMAN! CLARK SAVED IT *runs away crying
Does Superman have the power to make things moist? Talk to me ladies!
Dude’s entire alter-ego consists of a pair of glasses. Stop it. This character is terrible. DC Comics are the worst, besides Batman.
Why has Superman fashioned his outfit from a vintage ABA basketball?
Why do all superhero costumes now have fish scales?
I also do not like that pattern.
because this is a GRITTY REBOOT NOTHING IS SMOOTH.
im hoping for a scene where Kevin Costner turns to young Clark Kent and says ‘Let’s have a catch’.
Put Costner in the heartland and you’re fucked unless there’s gunplay.
Are they using the Superman IV mentality that his hair is way strong? Cause I wanna know how he shaves. His chest that is.
Cement bonding infused Gillette shaving cream and Kristen Stewart’s tits jimmy’d on a Mach 2.
By reflecting his heat vision off a mirror. Seriously.
Well if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that a Superman movie ain’t a Superman movie if there’s not some annoying pussy of a child, be it a Super-Boy or Super-Bastard.
Here’s hoping he gets with Lois soon enough. One thing I hate about superhero movies is how bad at women they are. Most guys who are bad at getting chicks lack confidence. Pretty sure being able to blast into outer space would be a big boost.
SInce he is currently not with Lois in the comics and there seem to be some lawsuits surrounding the character I doubt they get together. In fact I could see her getting killed, which would be awesome.
Dr. Manhattan > Superman.
Blue Dickz for lyfe
Have you been discussing this with Laurie Juspeczyk and Lois Lane?
I don’t even like Superman and this looks good. Pa Kent’s whole “maybe you should let them die” bit is very Nolan/Dark Knight Trilogy-ish
I didn’t like that part and it has me concerned about the rest of the movie. That’s not the Pa Kent I know.
Wouldn’t Superman’s beard hair make for the strongest tensile material ever? He could make a pretty penny off of knitting those body-armor clad soldiers some impenetrable sweaters.
Amy Adams hair would make for a pretty sweater, I don’t know about strong.
a pretty mycockinhersweater.
If Kal El meets a woman on earth he wants to bone, is that a little bit of earth strange or just strange?
All Earth strange is strange, but not all strange is Earth strange.
Problem is that he’s impervious to pain, which would mean that he lacks physical sensitivity. Therefore he could bone the livelong day and not feel anything. Good luck busting a supernut.
We can put off my questions regarding what happens when a vampire climaxes until a more opportune time.
Now we’re talkin’.
Fuck this movie.
Plot line of every super hero movie since 2000: Herr derr you’re bringin more trouble than goods to us! Get out of here now, ya freak. But stay maybe to save us? Wasn’t that trying for you and us? So deep!
When we find out that the whole traveling to Earth and becoming a superhero this is just a dissociative fantasy world that teen Kal-El has created to ignore all the Kryptonians who are raping his Super-can don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Suckryptonite Punch
So, at $83 an hour, your friend’s half-sister worked 194.6265060240964 hours last month?
Also, you said *half* sister. Your friend’s hittin’ dat, right?
Half-siblings are allowed to put it half-in
From the score alone, I assumed Superman would be walking through a wheat field in Elysium.
‘Twas very Gladiator.
Glad someone else noticed.
Methinks he was carrying the ring to Mordor. Also, Kevin Costner is kind of a dickhead. “meh. shoulda let them bitches drown, Clark.”
Yea!!! I started to resent the trailer just based on that. Seemed too slow…….
was waiting for a kid to get trampled by horses or a spear….
Putting away the glibness for a bit, this looks really good actually. I am excite.
You think Zack Snyder ever gets You think Zack Snyder ever gets the necessary means for a necessary means for a higher education?
Harking back to FD’s The Amazing Spider-Man review, I hope there is a scene where Clark experiments with his newfound powers through rollerskating. And why are they making so many Super Heros sad and brooding? If I suddenly stated developing abilities to see through anything but lead, be impervious to bullets, shoots heat from my eyes and fly, I assure you, I would be having the time of my freaking life.
started*
How does superman possibly trim his beard? Kryptonite razors?
Finally, a Superman movie where Lois is the only beard. #Clark&Jimmy
*Isn’t. Fuck my mouth.
This looks more Nolan than Snyder. That’s good. Snyder shoots a pretty movie, but wouldn’t recognize a decent story if it climbed into a rabbit mech and shot at him in super slow-motion.
I can’t wait til that homo erotic Zack Synder tick kicks in and we have a nice 5 minute scene where Superman decides to face his demons and shaves his face with his fingers, shirtless a la Hancock
I understand your dislike of that cliche, Vince, but knowing some dumb wiener kid in your town can lift schoolbuses and shit is pretty disconcerting.
He’d be on Hard Copy and hailed as miraculous, not taunted as a freak.
Hard Copy wouldn’t call him a hero, they would just not shut up about whose to blame for “BusGate”.
You don’t actually believe that do you Vince? You don’t think approximately 30 minutes after it happened a band of religious zealots would descend on the town and label the kid the antichrist and make his life hell before he blew them up with laser vision and decided to rule the planet instead of protecting it?
Fuck, can we see that movie?
Did you miss “Chronicle?”
Aha! Hans Zimmer is recycling his Gladiator soundtrack.
I’d prefer the theme to True Romance….. so much more classy…….
This looks like the Superman movie we deserve, but not the one we need right now. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO THE ASTHMATIC SUPER-ILLEGITIMATE-LOVECHILD!
Hahahaha, that crosses my mind too when Superman movies are the topic. There’s so much intention for sequels to follow up “Returns” but it’s kind of a fart now. Poor Brandon Routh.
*dead* LETS GET EM