When Miley Cyrus’s So Undercover was first reported, it was called “I’m, Like, Sooo Undercover,” a script by Allan Loeb, who’s either a brilliant supervillain who uses his understanding of Hollywood execs’ weaknesses to manipulate the system for his own financial gain, or some kind of idiot savant who just happens to have his greasy sausage fingers on the pulse of the studio script-buyer zeitgeist. Loeb traffics exclusively in films that sound like serious parodies, such as Here Comes the Boom, Adam Sandler’s Just Go With It, The Dilemma, and that one where Jason Batemen switches Jennifer Aniston’s semen. He writes three of these a year, and probably spends a bout a half hour on each. Like I said, possibly a genius. There are a few things you should know about his latest before you watch the trailer below.

  • Miley Cyrus plays a hard-nosed private investigator. That’s right, MILEY CYRUS. A private dick.
  • FBI agent Jeremy Piven needs her to go undercover at a sorority house. Just like Harland Williams and Martin Lawrence in a fat suit before her. It’s the plot of almost every teen movie.
  • Is there a scene where a flamboyant gay man cringes at having to turn a no-nonsense Sandra Bullock type into Miss Congeniality? YOU BET YOUR TIRED STEREOTYPES THERE IS!

Wasn’t a bumpkin getting made up to look purdy the entire plot of Hannah Montana? It’s like this chick’s entire career is based on people wanting to give her a haircut.

“Here’s the deal, the chief witness goes to college. Can you imagine? Now, let’s hug it out, bitch.”

They didn’t even try with that makeover. They could’ve at least made her wear some glasses and a ponytail at the beginning. The way it is now, the gay guy’s reaction after her makeover essentially boils down to, “OH MY GOD, NOW SHE’S WEARING LIP GLOSS!”

Also, serious question: what is wrong with Miley Cyrus’s face? She looks like an ogre that snatched a teenage girl’s body and spends each scene getting progressively more frustrated trying to figure out how it works.