Just to pound home those last few nails into theater-as-an-artform’s coffin, the new big thing on Broadway is to take a movie, add some songs, and turn it into one big, soulless, obnoxious dance number. Rocky recently got the musical-adaptation treatment, produced by Sylvester Stallone himself, but before bringing it to the US, they apparently decided to do a test run in Hamburg, Germany, where it’s called “Rocky: Das Musical.” That’s right, German theater kids, singing songs about Sylvester Stallone. The surrealism is strong with this one.
Check it out:
It’s disappointing that “Eye of the Tiger” isn’t in German, but this is still pretty mind-blowing. The singing in German starts at about 3:30.
Here’s the trailer:
And here’s the big dramatic original music number:
Oh man, is there anything funnier than earnest musical theater? Other than earnest German musical theater about Rocky, that is? Thanks to Screencrush for making me aware of this.
And while we’re on the subject, did you know that Will Ferrell movie, Elf (great, by the way), is also a musical now? It’s called “Buddy the Elf.” This is probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen:
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That’s it. Broadway over. Everybody go home.
A year later, and boxing pug is still not impressed.
Kudos to anyone punching a heavybag on stage for not breaking into tears and screaming “IF I’M DEAD TO YOU, HOW AM I PUNCHING YOU, DAD?!?!”
Just be glad no one got pooped on, is all I’m sayin’.
Everybody knows all the best shows are in Branson.
Alright, I’m gonna ask: What is your goddamn problem with theater? Did Patti LuPone come into your house in the middle of the night and rape your dad or what?
My problem with theater is that half of its output seems to be making musicals out of Rocky and Elf. I’m not talking about real theater, I’m talking about when they take a movie, remove all hints of satire, add songs, and suddenly it’s a play. A la Legally Blonde or Hairspray. Or when they take a mediocre play and stunt cast like Bob Saget or someone in it because no one would pay attention otherwise. The possibility for good shit still exists (Avenue Q, Book of Mormon), but it’s impossible to ignore the fact that it looks like a dying medium.
Pretty much, yeah. Theater today name drops other media and music for its biggest hits to stay afloat. I mean, shit, how many “scripts” have been slapped together around a collection of popular songs from a certain band. “American Idiot” became a musical. “Across the Universe” was a revue of Beatles hits. “Jersey Boys” is a smash, and it’s almost completely old Frankie Valli songs. “The Lion King” set records….how many legitimately original productions have there REALLY been since, say 1997, that just went HUGE. I’ll even spot you “Wicked” despite the fact that it was based on a book and played heavily into one of the most beloved movies of all time.
I watched some PBS Broadway special the other day, and theater at the turn of the 20th century was legit. Awesome stuff, groundbreaking. Now it’s just “HEY REMEMBER THIS SONG? REMEMBER THIS MOVIE? COME SEE IT PERFORMED BY DIFFERENT PEOPLE, IN PERSON!”
It’s not a dying medium. I’m a closet musical theater geek (seriously, I have life long friends who don’t know about my secret passion), and as with any entertainment medium, 90% of everything is going to be shit. But there are lots of good, modern, musicals not based on movies. You just never hear about them because they either don’t play broadway or, if they do, they tend to close pretty quickly–so you kind of have to be a theater geek to even be aware of them at all. Off the top of my head, and in the last decade alone, there was Urinetown, Passing Strange, Caroline or Change, The Last 5 Years, Light in the Piazza, See What I Wanna See, Bloody, Bloody, Andrew Jackson, Book of Mormon, London Road, The Adding Machine, [Title of Show]….and lots more (I could go on if I thought a bit more about it).
But, yeah, I hate big, cheesy, earnest musicals as much as anyone (e.g. “Wicked,” Andrew Llyod Webber) and I absolutely LOATHE jukebox musics, but there are lots of good new musicals that aren’t total shit if you have the interest level to seek them out.
Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots at the La Jolla Playhouse.
The medium is saved.
I totally see your “they take movies, add songs and then pretend it’s art” criticism, but I love the campness of this. And the Black Uncle Sam was ace. As for German musicals, I recommend ‘Elisabeth’, about a threeway between Death, an Austrian empress and her son, narrated by her killer. No, really.
Something else: The woman’s accent is so thick I don’t understand a single word of what she’s saying. Almost the entire cast is American: Drew Sarich from St Louis, Missouri plays Rocky and the Uncle Sam character is played by Terence Archie from Detroit. There’s also Kisha Howard, Adam Floyd, Kristina Love (from Oklahoma, the state, not the musical) and Orion Lynch.
I wonder how American actors make their way to Germany. How does that career move happen?
So to make that clearer: The head line is wrong- it should be “WATCH AMERICANS SING SONGS ABOUT ROCKY IN ROCKY: DAS MUSICAL”.