In the past few weeks, we’ve learned many things about Steven Seagal, not the least of which being that Above the Law was autobiographical, Steven Seagal knows the truth about both Brandon Lee’s death and Iran Contra but doesn’t want to talk about it, and Steven Seagal would’ve won a Nobel Prize for On Deadly Ground if he hadn’t been so ahead of his time. What’s next for a man such as this? A kimono’d bluesman with debatable Russian roots and a penchant for poonani? A movie with UFC middleweight champion and light heavyweight dabbler Anderson Silva, apparently. My sources tell me it may even include martial arts!
Anderson recently told Estadao (via Fighters Only) that he has received a script for a cop movie with Seagal, and he’ll be filming in the US starting soon:
“I will make a lot of fight scenes and this is also the first time I will act. I received a long plot and I will have the opportunity of putting in practice what I have been studying for some time”.
Apparently Silva, who already has a bunch of commercials on his resume, has been working on his acting with his director friend Johnny Araujo:
“Actually, he found out this side of me. I can say that he was my mentor in the acting art. He has been helping me so much with it and I will prepare myself each time more in order to make it well done”, he promises.
“I don’t want to be seen as somebody who caught the role because I am on the media and to be a fighter. Of course it is difficult, I am not Lorenzo Lamas, but I want to do it well done to the people see that I am a good actor.” [BloodyElbow]
The quote was translated from its original Portuguese, which may be partly why it sounds so awkward. Otherwise, this would be the first time in history anyone has ever said “I’m a decent actor, I mean, I’m no Lorenzo Lamas, but I’m okay.” But you have to remember, “Lorenzo Lamas” is simply Portuguese for “Philip Seymour Hoffman.”
In any case, I look forward to an interracial buddy cop movie with a background of Rush Hour-esque cultural clash, where Anderson Silva plays the brash young detective who’s always grooving to hip hop and dancing like Michael Jackson, while Steven Seagal plays his gruff old salt of a partner who’s always falling asleep on the shitter eating a hoagie.
[thanks to Fightlinker for finding the perfect picture to accompany this story]
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Stevie Seegs may not be aware of time, but his gunt takes up a lot of space.
Relax, he’s a black belt in Fondue.
Vince is trolling for fake “Steve is a great guy” comments, so pile on your derision. That draws them out.
Light heavyweight champ, Vince? Stephan Bonnar is the undisputed pound for pound king of my heart, but he wasn’t champ of anything when Silva killed him.
Also, I hope there’s a scene where Silva and Seagal bond over their love of fucking cheeseburgers.
Best dromedary actors:
1. Lorenzo Lamas
2. Tina from Napoleon Dynamite
3. Camels from Lawrence of Arabia
4. Jay-Z
5. Taylor Lautner
What about the camel Arnold punches in Conan? I felt his performance lent a lot of artistic truth to that scene. I didn’t just feel for that camel, I was that camel.
Dang, forgot about him. Put him at #2
“I’m note Lorenzo Lamas!” is what I yell at the assistant manager at Olive Garden when he gives me static for not cleaning the salad bar trays fast enough.
Sticking to sequel territory, after he finishes the new “Mad Max” movie, George Miller will be filming “Lorenzo’s Llamas.”
Looks like Seagal’s been spending a lot of time with Long John Silvas.
If the camera adds 10 lbs., Seagal ate at least 6 of them before that photo was taken
“I am not Lorenzo Lamas, but my name will be right beside his when my
moviefilm hits Walmart’s 5 for $10 DVD bin this February”You have to admire the raw self-confidence of a man who can put on that shirt, look at himself in the mirror, and go: “Yeah, I’m leaving the house like this.”
I mean, seriously. If I ever get that fat I won’t leave the house in anything more revealing than a kaftan.
I just got the chance to read that previous Seagal article. UH-MAH-ZING!!!!! Seriously, that may be the best interview of all time!!! OF ALL TIME!!!
But you have to remember, “Lorenzo Lamas” is simply Portuguese for “Philip Seymour Hoffman.”
You’ve still got it Mancini.
One look at that picture tells me “Chungdrag Dorje” probably translates to “Fat Elvis.”
Don’t you ever touch a black man’s Tapout cutoff BOY!!!!!!
is that a candy bracelet that seagal is rocking?
I hope they get Keith David to dub over Anderson’s girlish voice.
I can’t wait for the scene in the movie where Silva and Seagal both front kick the main bad guy and he shits his pants to death. That bad guy will also look suspiciously like a certain Judo man.
I think Steven Seagal is beautiful
I’m waiting for the day I see any of you guys come out from behind your computer and stand face to face with Seagal and Silva and talk this shit to their face. Meanwhile, just keep hiding behind your fake names, and be the little chicken shits you are. I’m laughing at you, not with you.