Mitt Romney’s 51 – 48 loss in last week’s election could have been even worse if the American people had known that the guy constantly chiding Obama for looking weak was the same guy letting his wife drag him to a screening of Twilight over the weekend, where these blurry pictures were taken. Politics aside, what a pussy-whipped eunuch.
Last night, Mitt and Ann Romney were spotted at a movie theater in Del Mar, California— near their La Jolla beach home we’re guessing. They managed to go out without a bodyguard or anything, though they weren’t able to escape the watchful eye of a TMZ photog.
I’m guessing the Del Mar Highlands theater, I used to work at the Starbucks right next door. Remind me to tell you about it some time, it’s a really boring story.
The Romneys went out for pizza, and everyone said Romney was totally cool and posed for pictures with people. Romney has copped to loving the Twilight series before. He picked up the books on a recommendation from his granddaughter, and he told the TODAY show: “I thought it was fun.”
There’s a Mormon connection there, too. The author of the book series Stephenie Meyer is a member, and some have noted that LDS imagery and influence runs deep in the series. (The series’ heroine Bella avoids coffee, tea, alcohol and tobacco.) [not to mention premarital sex and ethnic temptation.] [LAist]
Nothing against Mormons or Republicans, but if you’re a 65-year-old gazillionaire whose idea of a good time is going to see Twilight on opening weekend with your wife, you should probably just kill yourself, because you’re already dead. “Ooh, skinless grilled chicken breast again? Thank you, wife, this looks very satisfactory.”
You just know he goes home and DVRs Two and a Half Men and laughs his ass off. The reason Caroline in the City lasted four seasons? You guessed it, Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney saw Wild Hogs in the theater six times, true story. Mitt Romney orders undressed green salad with extra frisee.



Much like being photographed at church each Sunday, joining Team Edward is just something you have to do to get elected in this country.
Mitt Romney thinks Kristen Stewart is the most beautiful, energetic and lively actress he’s seen since Susan Dey.
Even beyond the Mormonism parallels, Ann Romney and Kristen Stewart do kind of have a lot in common. They’d both rather be fucking the guy that’s giving orders.
COTW
I know these are twilight jokes, not political jokes, but i just wanted to beg you to PLEASE not get political. I don’t know what i would do if i lost this site too. (talk to my family? work? no thanks.)
I know these are twilight jokes, not political jokes…
Nailed it.
Don’t you mean ‘neigh-led it’. Clomp clomp clomp.
I think this is how non-drinkers hit rock bottom.
Starring Paul Ryan as Rock Bottom. #politics.
Rock Bottom is an astonishing porn star name.
As Rob Delaney pointed out, you just *know* Romney thinks Jar Jar is hilarious. And he pisses himself when he reads Family Circus. “Oh Billy–why can’t you just go straight home?”
I read Family Circus every morning. have for years. I find that the strip is funny about six times a year. Last funny one involved the Olympics which was the 30th and Billy thought he shouldn’t be watching the XXX Games.
I’ve also found that Zippy The Pinhead is funny a few times of year, as well. The other end of the spectrum from Family Circus. I have a theory that, when both strips are funny at the same time, the world will end.
The collective laughing matter of 70-year-old grandmothers meeting the collective laughing of pretentious hipsters causing the world to collapse under its own weight.
Two and Half Men? Please, Mitt doesn’t like blue comedy.
Romney’s favorite popsicle flavor is plain. He and his wife will sometimes get loose and try some mint ice cream, but most CERTAINLY NOT mint chocolate chip. Those chips are too ethnic-looking.
You better hold on tight, spider monkey.
Of course, now it’s a Cinepolis, with reclining leather seats and wait service.
Avoiding the controversial “Team Edward v. Team Jacob” topic during the campaign was probably the wisest political move he’s ever done.
*sees post photo*
More “TMZ-style faggotry,” I see…
You married Vince? Didn’t think so.
Mitt Romney gets his chef to add salt & pepper to his boiled potatoes when he feels like eating “something ethnic”
Mitt Romney had plenty of friends in College who experimented with “hard music” (read: “bubblegum pop & buttrock”), but insists he never inhaled the stuff
Mitt Romney’s nickname growing up was “Blunt Man” (due to his Asperger’s-like way of announcing whatever non-filtered throught crept into his gigantic head)
Mitt Romney prefers the alternative Ninja Turtles figures to the original ones. You know, the ones with Leonardo as a football player and Raphael with a boom box and orange soda grenades
Mitt wanted to see Argo but if he wanted some heavy petting through the marriage blanket that night, his only option was Twilight.
Vince doesn’t understand the give and take of marriage.
The commentary on this post is what good mornings are made of.
TEAM LINCOLN