Hey, you guys. So I wrote this thing. It’s kind of about ostriches, and a little about Germans, but it’s also a little bit about restaurants, and also a little bit about life. It’s not about movies, so I didn’t feel quite right posting it here, so I posted it over at this website Justin Halpern and Jesse Kubanet run. But then, I guess this sort of counts as posting it here. Look, I’ll be honest, I don’t really understand this whole internet thing yet. I’ll let you know. In the meantime, feel free to read it here.
Apparently this is “the penis of an ostrich before mating.” Thanks, Shutterstock.
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Your fake German accent sounds like the Nazis in Spielberg’s “Raiders”, who’ve heard OFF the way Germans supposedly speak English but never really heard a German pronounce as much as a single English word. Your story wasn’t bad though. And now I want a burger.
I lived with a German dude for an entire year – sadly, actual German accents aren’t as fun to write as the fake Spielberg Germans. That part of the story was imagined, so it’s allowed.
Hey Vince, cool story, bro.
“A six foot tall bird related to dinosaurs” doesn’t translate in German. If you want to explain what an ostrich is to a kraut, speak in their terms, “It’s a massive killing machine with daggers on its feet, and can disembowel you with a swift kick to the gut”.
“Ja, das ist gut! Can you murder vun of zem, and cut up zee carcass to make ready for consumption?”
Ha, Roam sucks. Go to Marengo instead Mancini. Sliders with a fine whiskey selection.
Roam does kinda suck, but sliders can kiss my ass. I hate that bullshit yuppie tapas-style food. Oh boy, a small plate 3/4ths of the price of a regular entree that I’ll need to order three of to be full?? Where do I sign up!
Also, I was on Fillmore, not Union.
Ah, I haven’t made it up to Fillmore Roam. I like the diner feel of Super Duper, they make their burgers from beef!
A restaurant website that uses the words ‘terroir’ and ‘libations’ can go screw themselves.
Trek down to Joe’s Cable Car for a real, non-hipster burger. Smallest patty they have is 4 ounces. If you’re there at the right time you can watch them butcher your meat. I love that place. 70-something Joe might even be there.
Bill’s is good, too, and usually bro free.
the brochure said thered only be a few ostriches. this is a terrible vacation
I’ve been staring at that picture for a few minutes, and I’m still not entirely sure what I’m looking at.
That picture made my crust shrivel up and fall off.*