
Earlier today, I received an email from the fine people at Gentlemen’s Quarterly magazine regarding their selections for the annual “Men of the Year” feature, or however they refer to it. Ben Affleck was named Director of the Year for Argo, and you can tell it’s a distinguishing honor because he has a sprinkle of salt in his pepper. And singer Rihanna was named Obsession of the Year, and I don’t know what that means, because I feel like she needs a vacation.
But the big winner was our favorite rec center savior, Channing Tatum, who was named Movie Star of the Year, and nobody can deny how much he absolutely deserves that honor. His films The Vow, 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike each grossed more than $100 million, and his presence (or lack thereof) managed to derail the summer release of Paramount’s blockbuster, GI Joe: Retaliation, because his fans were irate that his character Duke was being killed off.
So does the good news stop there? HELL NAW. According to Gossip Cop, our beloved C-Tates will bring home his greatest honor yet when People Magazine will reportedly announce tomorrow that he is the 2012 Sexiest Man Alive. Respek.
Channing Tatum will be announced as “Sexiest Man Alive” by People next week, Gossip Cop has learned exclusively.
The Magic Mike star is expected to be unveiled as the magazine’s choice on November 14.
Tatum has been in the “Sexiest Man Alive” issue before, but never as the top choice.
When reached, a rep for People magazine told Gossip Cop, “We never comment on who the Sexiest Man Alive is until the issue is revealed.”
And for some reason, Gossip Cop asks if this is the right choice – YES, it’s the right choice! Do you want to know why it’s the best choice? Because C-Tates told me himself.
Yo check it, boo – 1, 2, free n 2 da fo, C-TATES IN DA MUTHA F*CKIN BOMB SEXY HEEZOUUUUUUUSE! Yo, G-Cloonz? B-Rad Pizznitt? C-TATES, SON WHAT! Yo playbois, u ain’t got no swag. U cain’t earn no swag. U born wit swag or U die witout it, right? When I wuz just a lil C-Tates, yo my pops tells me, Yo C-Tates, U special, kid. N den he leff us 2 get Newports n I ain’t hear from him again. Sad, son. But like, I knew dat sh*t wasn’t sexy n I wuz like, Yo self, U need 2 learn from dis, n now I’m sexy like my co-star, MC Conehead. Yo girl, next stop BET Awards.




I can’t wait for C-Tates to add Sexiest Man Alive to his resume, which I imagine is printed on paper with a Louis Vuitton-pattern watermark.
No James Van Der Beek?
It’s a travesty I tells ya! A travesty!
Until Clooney dies he should be the all time Sexiest Man Alive. C-Tates is a decent runner up.
This should really be called the Sexiest Male Celebrity Alive, because I’m not sure* I was ever contacted to submit my resume and shirtless photos for consideration.
*I mean, I do send out quite a few shirtless photos randomly via e-mail, but I don’t believe “People” magazine is in my address book.
That qualifies you to be an FBI agent. So you’re good.
Female Body Inspector > TSA Agent
Uh, Female Body inspector = TSA Agent.
Well that’s nice, I’m glad something finally went C-Tates’ way for once. Poor guy never seems to catch a break.
Jonah Hill lost all that weight for nothing!!!
If he doesn’t thank you in his acceptance paragraph Vince, it’ll be a crying shame.