I hope McConaughey wears this same outfit when he accepts his Best Supporting Actor Oscar.
Hey everybody, I’m back! Did you miss me? You know what? It doesn’t really matter because this week we’ve actually got some legit flicks to discuss. Besides Magic Mike, there’s that President-killing-vampires movie we all decided to wait for DVD to watch, a film set during the end of the world, that doc about the Dane that looked really insane, and even some full-frontal female nudity. There’s films with Seth Rogen, Steve Carell, Tyler Perry, and Bryan Cranston. There’s movies about writers and real estate agents, and match-making dogs. There’s even two flicks about deaf people, but you didn’t hear it from me. Well, you did, but it was a joke, see. Yeah, you’re all glad I’m back.
The DVDs:
Magic Mike
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World
Take This Waltz
Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection
The Ambassador (Also available for streaming)
Crooked Arrows
Leave
Fear And Desire
Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines
247°F
The Selling
The Invisible War
Gabe The Cupid Dog
Conned
I Am Bish
Want to know which one is a Dove Foundation-approved film about a talking dog? Continue reading. Want to know which one is the fifth installment in a series of films? Continue reading. Want to know which president is killing all those vampires? Continue reading. Are you insulted by my estimation of your intelligence? Skip on over to the Netflix suggestions by clicking here, but you’ll never know about the full-frontal female nudity I mentioned.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/32/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Wolverine-Tripod-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Morgan-Freeman-last-vegas-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/if-i-showed-you-all-the-money-shots-in-pacific-rim-youd-have-a-70-minute-orgasm-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Tomorrow-Youre-Gone-150x150.jpg)
Crooked Arrows has me curious just because I want to see if the teams are named things like “The Paralegals” or “The Accountants”.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated was pretty entertaining.
Agreed.
*runs through the room naked with a Blu-Ray copy of Magic Mike*
FUCK ALL YOU SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS FANNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnsssssssss!
Wait – is that supposed to annoy us, amuse us or turn us on? Because I’m definitely 2 of the 3.
I’m at half mast just because baseball is finally over.
Excellent work as always. Now that I’ve been reduced to getting movies from the public library Halloween 2015 is looking crackerjack.
Anyone who is on the fence of watching The Ambassador should just go ahead and do it. It’s an awesome film.
They had Corddry, Hubel, Patton & Carrell in that movie and they STILL managed to fuck it all up. Incredible.
I went to Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter with a couple of friends in Seattle thinking it would be entertaining after a few drinks. Nope. Not even hanging out with close friends, a liberal dose of bourbon and a late showing was enough to stay interested. Dullsville man.
That’s a bummer, I loved the book.
It was fucking terrible. You can’t have a movie called Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and then have Lincoln make “serious” speeches about freedom and equality.
Morton, you blew it by putting the full-frontal female nudity DVD on the second page. I bet the page-view count for 3 thru 5 dropped off to nothing. You’ve got to keep your best card in your hand until the very end.
On the other hand, Sarah Silverman and Michelle Williams? Meh. Boobs are boobs, I guess.
Nah, you have to keep ‘em guessing. If I always saved the ‘best’ for last, nobody would read pages 2-4.
Not Yet Rated is seriously fascinating.
Ever wonder what happened to the glory days of pg-13 titties? It might have something to do with the Catholic priests that are on the council. Great doc, also the story of the female detectives Kirby used is very cool.
Oh, she was so badass – getting her girlfriend’s daughter to be Jnr. Detective and stuff. I really enjoyed TINYR, as well as being angry about the bewbs and stuff.
Speaking of catholic priests and documentaries, I watched Deliver Us From Evil the other week. It’s pretty close to The Invisible War in terms of subject matter and thus viewing pleasure, but it is way scarier than the attractive-people-trapped-in-a-sauna flick.
Ugh, after reading everyone’s comments on “classic movies you’ve fallen asleep to” and hearing many people say 2001 Space Odyssey, then seeing that 2 of Kubrick’s earliest films are available to see, I’m completely torn.
Paths of Glory is an exellent movie and its less than ninety minutes. Well worth it in my opinion.