When one mega-corporation acquires another supercorporation, we all already know the reason: because they could afford it. But for some reason, we always have to play this game where they send out representatives of the companies to give their best man speeches about all the reasons why these two faceless entities should join in holy matrimony and we pretend like we care. We know already. They both think they’re going to make money on the deal. They’re two lego pieces that fit together. Fine. But it’s always fun to see just how far they’ll go to sell us this sh*t.
Anyway, freshly-minted Lucasfilms President and Star Wars brand manager Kathleen Kennedy sat down with George Lucas to discuss the merger. Assorted quotes:
LUCAS: “Obviously, I’ve been talking about retiring for some years now…”
LUCAS: “I really wanted to put the company somewhere, in a large entity, that would protect it.”
Ooh, you mean, like… AN EMPIRE?
LUCAS: “There’s lots and lots of opportunity at Disney that we wouldn’t have at any other studio.”
LUCAS: “When I made Star Wars many years ago, everybody in Hollywood said ‘Well this is a movie Disney should’ve made.’”
KENNEDY: “Disney defines family entertainment, and in many ways, it’s the best possible company to take Star Wars into the future.”
LUCAS: “I’ve always said I wasn’t going to do more, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t turn it over to Kathy to do more. I have story treatments of [Episodes] seven, eight, and nine…”
OH GOD NO, SOMEBODY BURN THEM.

KENNEDY: “We’re absolutely going to make more Star Wars movies, and we’re in the midst of the really fun part of the process, which is we’re sitting down with a couple of writers and we’re starting to discuss ideas…”
KENNEDY: “The main thing is to protect these characters, and that the universe of Star Wars continue to grow.”
Right, I mean, the last thing we want is to make three straight horrible movies and turn all the characters into obnoxious little kids whining about their relationship problems. That would really be a shame.
Watching the real George Lucas always reminds me how much more I prefer the fake George Lucas. The real George Lucas made it through that entire video without stuffing money into his neck pouch or demanding to be fed stray cats. He’s just a portly man with a voice like the Sargento cheese guy who’ll talk in a quiet monotone long enough for you to fall asleep so he can go back to playing with his toy trains. It’s disappointing.
In conclusion…

[Dog via i09]



Watching the real George Lucas always reminds me how much more I prefer the fake George Lucas.
No kidding
Real Lucas is entertaining in how he so easily rewrites history in his mind. There had been that talk of a 3rd trilogy of Episodes 7-9, but then in recent years it was him saying he was misquoted. And now he claims to have story treatments for the movies the press totally fabricated. Is he insane? Or a goddamn genius?
I think realistically speaking, all he ever had was a rough treatment and a bunch of notes for Star Wars and everything else was stuff other people came up with or he just made up on the fly. But if he likes to pretend that he always had the story mapped out from the beginning, he’s welcome to his delusions.
I’ll maybe start caring the moment this somehow involves a proper KoTOR sequel. Until then, dismissivewank.gif speaks for me.
KOTOR 2 was a proper KOTOR sequel. Especially with the new fan patch that was just released which restores all the content that Obsidian had to cut because Bioware made them rush the game for a Christmas release.
Seriously, play the game with the cut content restored. It’s awesome.
KoTOR II was the skeleton of a great game – I enjoyed it, but only in spite of the bugs and weird plot holes. Never played it with the patch, but from what I understand, it’s only a partial fix; I guess I should have another stab at it at some point. An updated and fully fixed KoTOR II would make me very happy (I don’t mind outdated graphics), but that will probably never happen.
I personally can’t wait for Jedi Jayden Smith.
Personally I’ve always felt we needed more Asian Jedi as well as women. That was a joke but it won’t be after Tyler Perry starts bitching to Disney.
That business photo is now my desktop background, thank you.
I’m nitpicking, but it’s going to sadden me to not see the Fox logo play before episode 7 begins.
Yes, but think of the coolness when Tink taps her wand and the Death Star explodes beneath it in recut 14.
Honestly I can’t be the only one who is cautiously optimistic about this.
I’ll watch more Star Wars movies. I like them a lot but I don’t worship them. And I can’t imagine Disney will do any worse than Lucas did with Attack of the Clones. Did anything even happen in that movie?
Plus maybe Mark Hamill will get some work now.
Bring back Luke!
Maybe the “falling in love” scenes will now actually be written by someone who’s talked to a woman before!
I know I should be all, “NERD RAAAAGE!” about this news, but I’m more like, “Meh.”
The only thing I feel really strongly about is the need for a Pixar-produced Yoda short film. Because that would be adorable.
Oh shit!
That means Disney owns Howard The Duck!!!
REBOOT!….Wait! Don’t rape my childhood!….NO! REBOOT!….wait…..I am conflicted….
More importantly, they own Willow.
Yeah enough about fucking Star Wars, what about Howard?
I would instantly melt into a puddle of nerd-joy if the first thing Disney did was to release the Original Editions on blu-ray/dvd.
I wonder to what degree this has to do with Disney agreeing to cover up the losses from misfires like “Red Tails” in exchange for the Star Wars gold mine. Not that Lucas was hurting for money, but there’s probably more going on than, “I’m retiring.”
YODA: “Taught by another, I was. Most powerful Jedi ever, is he.”
*figure emerges from shadows*
HANNA MONTANA walks into room.
Or she. Whatever. DOLLAR SIGNS!!!
The only way this can work is if Donald Duck loses his shit and becomes a Sith Lord.
In that Empire, no one wears pants.
Donald Duck Meets Howard the Duck in Star Wars XXVIII: Assault on the DuckStar.
Duck Vader: Quack, I am your father.
Luke Duckwalker: Nooooo!!!!
Am I the only one KINDA happy about this? I thought we wanted Lucas cut out of the creation process of Star Wars. Watching the prequels, I found myself constantly thinking, “Oh my God, please let someone else write and direct these.” And while Disney can’t market a movie for shit (John Carter), they can still get a pretty decent Sci Fi movie in theaters (John Carter).
I’m optimistic like a five year old forecasting Xmas loot. Disney will throw shit on television, willy-nilly, but when they decide to make a movie for more than a quick cash grab they do a good job. The first Pirates of the Caribbean was better than it had any business being.
Fifteen years from now Disney could say “Fuck it! Let’s do Star Wars from the beginning, and let’s do it right.”
Aren’t there like 500 books of extended Star Wars content that are counted as “canon”? How does that play into the stories for the sequels?
I wouldn’t say “canon.” There were stories that tried to establish this or that about Boba Fett, Han Solo, etc etc…George tossed that shit out the window and left the authors scrambling to hack up explanations for why R2-D2 doesn’t tell Luke a Goddamn thing about his parents for like 30 books after JEDI, or why Luke decides it’s okay for all his Jedi students to date.
The thing to remember is, no matter what ANYONE wrote, if George the Hackmeister has his own ideas about it, he’ll go ahead and just contradict the hell out of everything else, because he’s the auteur, the only one who “can write it.”
Yeah, the Extended Universe is considered “Semi-Canon” unless it is referenced in any of the movies or in the Clone Wars cartoon.
How about the one where Leia has sex with Chewbacca? That might not have been canon, now that I think of it. I believe I read it on alt.sex.rapingyourchildhoodmemories