Color me shocked and ashamed on this one, but I had no clue that there’s a new He-Man movie in development. Currently Masters of the Universe, the project began with a screenplay entitled Grayskull, and the guy who wrote The Mechanic and The Expendables 2 (I’d pay a million dollars to watch an Expendables film be written) is attached to write the story of one of the most baffling toy lines of my childhood.
Seriously, how did nobody know that Prince Adam was He-Man. THEY’RE IDENTICAL! Even Clark Kent gave people a little credit and wore glasses. I know it’s not a big deal but even as a child this made me so angry. But I digress. Dig me out of this nerd hole, Variety.
Sony Pictures and Escape Artists will continue tapping the hot hand of scribe Richard Wenk (“The Equalizer”), who will rewrite He-Man pic “Masters of the Universe.”
Jon M. Chu is set to direct the live-action film based on the popular Mattel toy line.
Story follows a young prince who becomes a warrior and sets out to defeat the evil Skeletor and fulfill his destiny as He-Man.
I’ve always been sort of surprised that a He-Man reboot never happened after the 1987 mess that shared the name of this new version (seriously, what was up with that hairy dwarf?), but then you should never try to recreate any Dolph Lundgren movie, because they’re all perfect. Still, I’m confused about a couple things.
1) Is there a dumber name for a cartoon or comic book character than He-Man?
Mattel CEO Ray Wagner: “Hey Steve, we’ve got this new character about a hulked up prince who can transform into an equally hulked up magical warrior and he battles against evil monsters that are under the control of a talking skeleton. You got any ideas for a name?”
Steve: “He… Man?”
It’s important to know that Steve is Ray’s toddler son in this imagined brainstorming session.
2) Why Jon Chu? Are Hollywood producers so amazed by Step Up 2, Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never and The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers that they’re willing to hand over what should be a Transformers-level franchise to a guy whose only action experience is the already doomed G.I. Joe: Retaliation?
Honestly, I would not be surprised if we’re about to see the live action version of this:
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/National-Lampoons-Vacation-car-tobey-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/Skip-Woods-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/video-new-trailer-for-man-of-steel-superman-movie-w-henry-cavill-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/gi-joe-retaliation-has-a-new-international-trailer-150x150.jpg)
not identical, actually.
he-man has a tan.
Andy Serkis or Deep Roy as Orko.
Tony Cox in a crimson pimp hat as Orko.
Kevin James, now that he’s all pumped up from Here Comes the Boom, as He-Man. Think about it before you scoff, bro-skis.
He could borrow Nick Swardson’s “Bucky Larson” wig and everything.
Gary Oldman as Duncan. Because why not.
I didn’t even understand that he had a secret identity when I first saw He-Man since they were identical. I did get the gay subtext though.
By the power of Gay Skull AMIRITE?!
That was subtext?
Yeeeeep, that’s gonna’ be in my head for the rest of the day.
Hot hand of Richard Wenk? Life, you aren’t even trying to challenge me anymore.
As far as toddler marketing brainstorms, He Man is right up there with walkie talkie, firewire and no-fly zone.
#1 The reason they used a dwarf is because creating a “semi-relistic” Orko was next to impossible with the movie’s budget.
#2 Say what you will about some of the casting choices, but Frank Langella was AWESOME as Skeletor, especially when you’re a little kid.
All I remember is Courtney Cox being 80s hot.
Only somewhat related but what ever happened to the Barbarian Brothers?
Ron Swanson as Man-At-Arms, you’re welcome Sony.
Point of order, Burnsy — “he-man” has been around since the 1830s as a generic team for a manly man. Remember the “He-Man Woman Haters Club” from the Little Rascals?
[www.etymonline.com]
Still super lame, of course.
Yeah Robert Blake had an early start didnt he?
The Adam/He-Man disguise never bothered me as much as the skeleton demon thing that obviously spent lots of time blasting his lats and watching his carbs but never used his physicality in battle. It was basically casting The Rock to play Voldemort.
I understand that Skeletor couldn’t meet He-Man in the middle of the Octagon but he and Beast-Man damn sure could have let Teela and Man-at-Arms know what was up with a Doomsday Device or two.
If C-Tates doesn’t make a serious run at He-Man, then I’m not sure this is America anymore.
Ay yo Skele-bitch? You best step correct and quitcha trippin, son. Heezy-Meezy off up in here an I’m keepin it trill.
Damn people didn’t pay too much attention to details and plausibility of secret identities as they do now. Clark Kent wore glasses. Peter Parker was apparently an expert at making costumes. Or “That guy running around dressed like a bat with all the gadgets and vehicles must have a lot of money. Maybe billionaire Bruce Wayne has a rich friend who knows something about this!”
I think there was a newer He-Man where Prince Adam was a strong guy, but was nowhere near as buff as He-Man. They should go that route with some sort of Chris Evans/Captain America CGI
This should not be confused with the gender-bending action fantasy film starring Joanie “Chyna” Laurer:
She…Man?.
He-Ra.
So the trend of 40 year old movie makers saying ‘hey, you remember that thing from 30 years ago?” continues.
I’m waiting on the Monchichi live action movie.
ShirtTails or GTFO
Ashley – I feel about The Rock similarly to how you feel about Dolph Lundgren, so as soon as I close this window, I’m coming to your house to take revenge Jay and Silent Bob style.
He-Man? I thought that was just Prince Adam giving a speech for the Los Angeles Hispanic Chamber of Commerce.
Give that video ALL the MTV awards!
“Sony Pictures and Escape Artists will continue tapping the hot hand of scribe Richard Wenk (“The Equalizer”), who will rewrite He-Man pic “Masters of the Universe”
Uh, the Equalizer is the reference point here? As in, the James Bond meets the A-Team ripoff from CBS 25 years ago?