Just a reminder that it was one year ago today that Kirk Cameron celebrated his 41st birthday with 42 inches of Subway sandwich in a sad birthday celebration seen ’round the world. Most recently, he’s been on a speaking tour of fundamentalist “colleges” screening his documentary, Monumental, stopping occasionally to outrage the gays with his views on homosexuality (honestly, we all know what he thinks already, stop asking him). But I have no outrage to stoke, I’m just here to commemorate the man’s birthday, and give you the heads up so you can celebrate him in your own way, perhaps wish him well if you see him at Subway – where winners eat! Here’s to hoping Belinda is actually allowed to eat some this year, provided she still works here.
SANDWICHES ARE FOR CLOSERS, BELINDA! SLOTH IS A SIN!
WHY CAN’T YOU AT LEAST TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK NICE BEFORE YOU COME TO WORK, LIKE CAROLINE HERE?! STAY OUTSIDE AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE!
Poor Belinda.
[thanks for the reminder, Morton]
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/James-Franco-dildo-cake-150x150.jpg)
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Still one of my proudest achievements.
I love this so much
And it’s taken me one year to realize that the gap between his mouth, right arm and right leg was not a poor attempt at photoshopping a penis in to the picture.
Cannot unsee.
You complete me.
it’s like the fed ex arrow now
I signed on to tell just exactly what Torgo’s observed – *scroll* – and now THIS!
Hm, superb, I guess.
Crazy
BELINDA! I ASKED FOR 7 6-INCH SUBS! DO I HAVE TO GO OVER THIS AGAIN? ANYTHING OVER 6-INCHES IS THE DEVIL’S WORK AND INVITES TEMPTATION! GOSH! YOU JUST STAND OVER THERE AND THINK ABOUT THIS!
In honor of both Kirk *and* the gheys, Ima buttchug me a sammich.
/”kirk” is the Scottish word for church. Typical.
//”Cameron” is the American word for James Cameron.
James Cameron doesn’t do what James Cameron does for Kirk Cameron
I feel like Belinda has a secret sparkly dildo hidden away somewhere that she occasionally puts into the freezer late at night when no one else is awake.
Five.
Five dollar.
Five dollar porn subscriptions that cause me to question Satan’s hold over me and throw my PC monitor out with the trash.
Semi-related: Whenever I am in a Mexican restaurant and considering ordering shrimp, I always ask the waiter if these are “Kirk Camarones.”
The silence is the tastiest part, you see.
That’s because you have to order James Camarones. This is automatically understood as James is recognized as the Lord of the Sea and all thing Aquatic.
That Kirk Cameron story was the first FilmDrunk article I ever read. It’s been a helluva year – keep those dog photoshops coming.
I’m sure the cake reads ‘Happy Birthday Kurt!’