People love Bill Murray, because besides managing to seem likable in even the crappiest of movies, he seems to use his fame primarily as a practical joke. There are too many Bill Murray stories to recount here – just recently, he crashed a kickball game in New York – but the latest one comes from Kelly Lynch, who, in addition to playing Patrick Swayze’s love interest in Road House, is married to Mitch Glazer, who co-wrote the 1988 Bill Murray vehicle Scrooged. In an interview with the AV Club, she explains why Bill Murray calls her husband every time Road House is on TV:

AVC: It seems like your sex scene in the film must be one of the most uncomfortable in cinematic history, being up against a rock wall and all. 

KL: Oh, I know, but I was padded. [Laughs.] No one knows, so it looks more painful that it was. They really liked everything about the way that scene looked, with the blonde hair against the rocks behind me, but I was like, “Isn’t this kind of… mean?” So they put a thin padding under my dress, so you can’t see it. But he’s still slamming me against the rocks, so I had to be careful not to hit my head. Thank God Patrick was so strong. He could’ve carried me around that room forever.

Sack up, Kelly, pain don’t hurt.

By the way, speaking of Bill Murray, every time Road House is on and he or one of his idiot brothers are watching TV—and they’re always watching TV—one of them calls my husband and says [In a reasonable approximation of Carl Spackler], “Kelly’s having sex with Patrick Swayze right now. They’re doing it. He’s throwing her against the rocks.” [Away from the receiver.] What? Oh, my God. Mitch was just walking out the door to the set, and he said that Bill once called him from Russia.

Murray’s “idiot brothers” include God Bless America‘s Joel Murray and Brian Doyle Murray from Groundhog Day, probably the last voice you’d ever want to hear talking about your wife having sex with Patrick Swayze. Okay, maybe second to last. Here’s how Mr. Skin describes it:

Synopsis: Get wet with a look at Kelly’s underwater wobblers when she dips skinny with Swayze in a pond. (19 seconds). [source]

I love Mr. Skin, but my God, that guy is like an industrial-strength vagina dryer.

AVC: Sorry, not to dwell on this, but you said that Bill Murray “or one of his idiot brothers” will call. Which brothers are we talking about?

KL: All of them! Joel has called; Brian Doyle has called. They will all call! Any and all of them!

AVC: This was already an awesome story, but now it’s even better. 

KL: I know, right? I dread it. If I know it’s coming on—and I can tell when it’s coming on, because it blows up on Twitter when it is—I’m just like, “Oh, my God…” And God help me when AMC’s doing their Road House marathon, because I know the phone is just going to keep ringing. It doesn’t matter if it’s 2 or 3 in morning. “Hi, Kelly’s having sex with Patrick Swayze right now…”

I’m almost positive most guys I know would’ve let their wives bang Patrick Swayze if it meant getting regular phone calls from Bill Murray. Come on, that’s an easy decision.

Here’s the voice you have to imagine talking about a guy banging your wife. Horrifying.

And here’s Bill Murray at a kickball game:

[via]

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