GAAAAHHHHHH KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!

In case you missed it, Nancy Grace wrote a book a while back (The Eleventh Victim), which became a Lifetime movie, which now stars Jennie Garth and Metta World Peace, who was on Dancing with the Stars with Grace back when he was still named Ron Artest. The movie, which is not at all based on Nancy Grace, is about a young blonde prosecutor (Garth) who’s as tough as she is pretty. Hey, remember when being a delusional f*cking sociopath wasn’t a key criterion for getting a TV show?

As a young psychology student, Hailey Dean’s world explodes when Will, her fianc, [sic] is murdered just weeks before their wedding. Reeling, she fights back the only way she knows how: In court, prosecuting violent crime…putting away the bad guys one rapist, doper, and killer at a time.

Rapists, dopers, killers, gangbangers, boozers, pickpockets, sneakthieves, mollycoddles, louts, jackrollers, scoundrels, wastrels, and roustabouts! She puts them all away, the only thing standing between the good people of this city and a cesspool of vice! Anyway, the clip is below. I got as far as 30 seconds, when Ron Artest, whose charisma level as an actor can best be described as Rodman-esque, says “Hey, I still got some skills,” and Nancy Grace, with that Satan’s Jack-in-the-Box demon clown expression you see above, says whorishly, “Oh, we know about your skills.”

Long story short, I haven’t stopped vomiting. Please, take all the prints, encase them in concrete, and fire them into the surface of the sun. The twelfth victim is the viewer.

[Deadline]