*Don’t worry, I won’t be spoiling anything, because it’s my hope folks will see this one clean, ideally right after their family has staged an intervention.

Hi there from beautiful Toronto, Canada, home of the B-Jays. I just got out of the morning’s first screening, Looper, which is also the official opening film of The Toronto International Film Festival. I want to save the real Filmdrunk review for Vince, because I like reading his reviews much more than I like writing my own, but in the interim I thought I’d take the opportunity to get you completely fluffed on Looper (provided you weren’t already).

The film doesn’t come out until September 28, facing off against Hotel Transylvania and Won’t Back Down, but that’s no reason you can’t recruit a few friends prior. Because really, if Looper doesn’t win that terrible weekend, it will be yet another reason why we can’t have nice things. Anyway, no more fooling around, let’s bloviate on Looper, for the kids.

This is Rian Johnson’s Memento
Remember those halcyon days when you were telling people this “Christopher Nolan guy is going to be somebody!” That’s Rian Johnson, right now, heralding a fandom that there’s still room on the ground floor of. His previous films, Brick and Brothers Bloom, were both very solid, but he’s taken it to another level here. A decade from now, circa 2023, you’re going to be sick and tired of hearing about Looper IV: Fully Looped. But until then, we should all ride this wave together.

The Mazda Miata Gets its Proper Due
No one has ever properly made fun of The Mazda Miata in cinema. It’s all accomplished with a measure of subtlety, but Rian Johnson lets us enjoy the awesomely terrible curves of a Miata, free of guilt.

Warren Zevon and Richard and Linda Thompson …
Two great song choices are used in Looper, which I will embed, because I’m all about value. The score is solid overall, but these moments were especially well conceived.

Jeff Daniels, Emily Blunt, Paul Dano, and the Return of Piper Perabo!
Remember Coyote Ugly? That was, up until this point, Piper Perabo’s claim to fame. That’s how she got meetings with people, she name-checked Coyote Ugly and then did the “Can’t Fight the Moonlight!” song until they granted her an audience. Now she has a new claim, a sturdier claim, a claim that still involves dancing, but also some real acting chops. Good for her!

Jeff Daniels is everything in Looper that we want him to be in Newsroom. He gives speeches, but they aren’t speeches about how blogs are bad, and new media is el diablo (YA THINK??!). Instead, they are speeches about him being a bad-ass mob boss. This is the Jeff Daniels we need, now more than ever.

Paul Dano is the kid from There Will Be Blood. He’s about a good a young character actor as we’ve got going, and he doesn’t disappoint here. Good on him.

Finally, respect must be paid to Emily Blunt. She’s now starred in two legitimate sci-fi films (If you count The Adjustment Bureau). Could it be that Emily knows how to pick a script? And is she now officially forgiven for being involved with Gnomeo and Juliet and Salmon Fishing in the Yemen? I vote yes, but I understand if you’re still holding a grudge.

The Makeup Works
The first images of Looper seemed to indicate that Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be wearing silly makeup the whole time. But this is why moving pictures are so important, in the film itself JGL is a delight, giving the best Bruce Willis impression you’ve ever seen. Oh, Moonlighting, I don’t know how to quit you.

Pierce Gagnon!
I don’t know what to tell you about his performance that doesn’t completely ruin the film. I will offer up that he looks about six years old and pwns Haley Joel Osment for “amazing performance by a youngster” in this film. The child is a beast child, and we should bestow upon him a Punky Brewster-level fame.

Sci-Fi is BACK, bitches!
Egh, okay, I don’t know that it ever really left. But it seems like the sort of thing you could bust out around co-workers. The simple folk will eat it up.

Looper Finishes Like a Freight Train
Again, don’t watch a trailer, and stay away from spoilery reviews. Take this one in fresh, enjoy yourself. We only get so many of these things a year, and then it’s back to chugging Brave and Bourne Legacy bombs.

Laremy often appears on The Frotcast and likes to party with his socks on. You can follow him on Twitter if you enjoy daily updates on who his dog attacked this time.