I’ve got a boner to pick with Fab.com and their Sit On My Face Ryan Reynolds chair. No, it’s not the price, $515 seems like a steal, especially if it’s signed by Ryan Reynolds himself. It’s the “perceived imperfections are part of the art piece.”

Imperfections?!? How dare you! This is Ryan Reynolds we’re talking. If a person “perceives” imperfections, it’s clearly the perception is false. We’ll run that perception out of town on a rail. I heard they made Ryan Gosling version, but you can’t sit on his face until he cooks you dinner. There’s also a version with Lemmy from Motörhead, which isn’t pretty, but at least it can rock.

By the way, do you have a version where Ryan Reynolds is clean shaven? I’m ticklish.

 

[Fab.com, thanks to Chareth for the tip]