If you took my complete and utter apathy for another three-hour Hobbit movie and reversed the polarity, you’d get Miami Connection, a film that combines mullets, 80s synth-pop, sword fights, ninjas, girls in nightclubs with their boobs flopping everywhere and karate. That guy in the banner image? I chopped his arm off with my boner, that’s how excited I am for this.
Edited by HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN Director Jason Eisner for Drafthouse Films, the trailer for this ’80s martial arts gem packs quite a punch. MIAMI CONNECTION, directed by 9th degree black belt philosopher/author/inspirational speaker Grandmaster Y.K. Kim, tells the story of fearless synth rock band Dragon Sound as they embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice in the streets of Orlando.
The film began as a rare 35mm print of an obscure, 1987 VHS release bought off eBay for fifty dollars, and it has to be worth millions today, because it’s not often these days you find a shirtless Italian dude with a mullet doing karate who’s not trying to be ironic.
What I want, you got, might be haaaard to haaaandle, like a flaaaame that burns a candle… Sorry, that’s just what happens in my head whenever I look at this picture.
The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida’s narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song “Against the Ninja,” Mark (YK Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world’s smelliest underbelly. It’ll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can’t stop until they’ve completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the “stupid cocaine”…and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!
It opens this Friday at Fantastic Fest, November in most other places (list of openings here). I can only hope seeing it helps explain that the hell is going on here:
Still, 9th degree black belt philosopher/author/inspirational speaker Grandmaster Kim, while impressive, has quite a few more slashes to go before he matches black belt/blues guitarist/reggae singer/lawman/saddle collector/energy drink magnate/chicken killer/immortality advocate/time traveler/front kick inventor/physiologically unique ejaculator Steven Seagal. Also, I’m guessing “hoagie enthusiast” is in there somewhere.
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“Pshhh they didn’t even include the appendix or random margin notes on the script. Where are the scenes where they are just eating daily meals?!”-Peter jackson
My hair instantly morphed into a mullet and the sleeves flew off my shirt as I watched that trailer. It was pretty rad.
A multi-ethnic 80s band that plays songs about friendship before going out to fight motorbike criminals with jump kicking? Do…So, do I just shoot my money out of a cannon in the direction of Austin or…
“Angelo Jannotti” is Jon Oates’ long-lost twin brother, clearly.
My bad, JoHn. The ’80s were so long ago.
Im just pissed that a a film produced and set in florida wont be screening here. Wheres the justice?
We have too many roundhouse wreck-waves of crime
Dragon Sound: Masters of Friendship and Karate for everyone
Don’t quite get the title. Were they trying to link this in people’s minds with Miami Vice? The “Miami Sound Machine?” The French Connection? The Chinese Connection? I mean, Against the Ninja would have been a better title, they already have that bitchin’ theme song!
Ninjas vs. Mullets would have also been acceptable.
I haven’t seen it, but since it’s about cocaine, my guess is that “Miami Connection” refers to the drug cartel from out of town rolling into Orlando to cause trouble.
No no, they’re the roadies for the Miami Sound Machine. Its a little known fact that Gloria Estefan can kill a man 27 different ways just with her hips.
Shit, someone already made the Miami Sound Machine reference. Whatever, I don’t need your approval anyway! You guys don’t even know me!
Oh No! Ninjas! is another good title.
“I fist pumped so hard I popped my arm out of socket!!!” -Roger Ebert
“Jaw dropping spectacle!!!” -Roger Ebert
I bet you can find some 50 year old hipsters that will tell you that they were cool enough to know all along that Miami Connection, not Roadhouse, was the real mullet-filled vigilante justice epic of the 80s
Streets of Orlando? Please tell me Burnsy is in this.
“Streets of Orlando” was Dragon Sound’s not-so-successful cover of Springsteen’s “Streets of Philadelphia”
In a surprise twist, Maurice’s father is Steven Seagal in black face
Angelo Jannotti has been playing guitar since the age of 8. He was featured on Legato Records’ “Guitar On the Edge 5.
Surprised y’all didn’t know that.
The real question is: how long has he been fighting ninjas?
Angelo Jannotti has the mullet Florida deserves, just not the one it needs right now
Has Instragram transitioned to film?
I’m as excited for this movie as I am annoyed that “You Make My Dreams” by Hall & Oates is stuck in my head.
Why is Eli Manning so mad in the header image?
[youtu.be] There’s a thread here worth pulling. Look at the top comment of this video
Miami Connection is awesomely terrible. It’s been a year since I’ve last seen it, but the memories it’s created have never left.