"Please don't kill me, I'm havin' a really good hair day."
I find list making a nerdly and generally tedious proposition, but TotalFilm made a movie-related list and it hit the Reddit front page, so I thought I could post it and we could just skip to the part where we argue about it. That’s the only reason people like lists, right? KNIVES OUT! I’LL CUT YOU IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ME, FAGTROLL! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!
TotalFilm‘s list of the 50 Greatest Films You’ll Only Watch Once:
The Birth Of A Nation (1915)
The Machinist (2004)
Elephant (2003)
Jude (1996)
American History X (1998)
The Mist (2007)
Breaking The Waves (1996)
Solaris (1972)
Un Chien Andalou (1928)
A Woman Under The Influence (1974)
The Elephant Man (1980)
Dead Man Walking (1995)
They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? (1969)
Biutiful (2010)
Hotel Rwanda (2004)
The Seventh Seal (1957)
Boys Don’t Cry (1999)
Sophie’s Choice (1982)
The Road (2009)
Mirror (1975)
Downfall (2004)
Make Way For Tomorrow (1937)
The Travelling Players (1975)
La Strada (1954)
Blue Valentine (2010)
Battleship Potemkin (1925)
City Of Life And Death (2009)
Straw Dogs (1971)
Happiness (1998)
Inland Empire (2006)
Antichrist (2009)
Precious (2009)
Lilya 4-Ever (2002)
Tyrannosaur (2011)
Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Gone With The Wind (1939)
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Grave Of The Fireflies (1988)
Audition (1999)
Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer (1986)
Schindler’s List (1993)
Nil By Mouth (1997)
Come And See (1985)
Sátántangó (1994)
Salo (1975)
Requiem For A Dream (2000)
Martyrs (2008)
Irreversible (2002)
Funny Games (1997)
Shoah (1985)
Well, I agree with some of them – Dead Man Walking, Leaving Las Vegas, Hotel Rwanda, Downfall – all films I remember as being good, but I think proved their point by me only seeing them once. But I’ve seen Happiness and American History X and Un Chien Andalou like a billion times. Birth of a Nation I watch once a year on my birthday (I kid, I kid).
Other films, I disagree with calling “great” – Elephant is awful, for instance. Van Sant makes a Columbine movie that isn’t really about Columbine that people call “lyrical” because it doesn’t really have a point. It’s just wallowing in a tragedy that they don’t even have the balls to call by name while offering no real insight into the event and calling it art. Blegh. I’ll smell my own farts, thank you. Precious was just tacky and embarrassing (though Mo’Nique is brilliant). As for Solaris, I’m one of the few that liked the Clooney version, but my only list that Andrei Tarkovsky films would make would be The 50 Greatest Films That I Tried to Watch Like 12 Times But Always Fell Asleep Because the Camera Was Too Far Away and I Couldn’t Even Tell What the Hell Was Going On. I know at least two and a half people reading this are with me on that one, am I right, fellas?! And yo, don’t you hate it when French New Wave muhf*ckas be all obtuse and non-linear with they juxtapositions and sh*t? WOOF WOOF WOOF… /Def Film Major Jam
[ReditForward explains their choices here]
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I see you’ve already mentioned that Elephant is awful….in that case, I have nothing else to add.
Indeed. I saw it on when it came out on DVD and thought it was was really bad
Hows bout every Larry Clark movie?
You’re wrong. Elephant is amazing.
I challenge you to support that claim with evidence.
Just watched The Mist for the 2nd time last night, I love that movie
yep
seriously?
I own the bu-ray, I love the movie and I wanted to see what the director’s cut would look like. Money well spent.
The Mist is quickly joining the list of movies (Roadhouse, Point Break) that i will always watch if i come across them.
Love to see Shermanator pulled into the mist every time.
Second on the Tarkovskij; I’ve managed to sit through Mirror, but that’s it.
Other than that, Blair Witch Project has to be a joke, right? I don’t get the criteria; is this supposed to be a list of fairly decent films that aren’t interesting enough for a second viewing?
Give Stalker a chance. But get really stoned first.
@ Badger – done and done
Will do. For science!
I really didn’t like Mirror but Solaris and Andre Rublov own like motherfuckers.
Yeah science!
Dont’ forget your speed-suits.
Is the Clooney Solaris worth NetFlixing? I remember reading a review of another movie that mentioned Solaris favorably. That may have been an A-Dub review. The question remains.
I saw it in theaters with my girlfriend at the time and both of us thought it was boring as hell. We were in that “let’s make-out!” phase too, which we didn’t do, so the fact that that the movie was so boring that we didn’t even want to do says something. I’d see the original if you have the option.
Sixth Sense?
Winner
I’ve said it before but that won’t stop me from mentioning Sin Nombre on this list. That movie made me all kinds of San Panda.
I feel like The Mist and The Road are wrong on both counts. I wouldn’t call either one “great,” but I liked them both enough to watch again. Also, Tyrannosaur was fucking hard core.
Surly’s Netflix Instant Double Feature Bleak-fest:
Dead Man’s Shoes (should absolutely be on this list)
Tyrannosaur (seriously Paddy, holy shit.)
Can’t really argue too much. Honestly. I like the idea of movies you’ve fallen asleep trying to watch better.
See also: La Jetee.
I never fall asleep during movies. It’s a terrifying condition. Only exception is Stallone’s 1996 Poseidon variation Daylight, which made me fall asleep in the theatre.
Isn’t La Jetee like 20 minutes long? I’m impressed by the ability to doze off that quickly.
I fell asleep watching Pearl Harbor, best damn sleep I’ve ever had.
Public Enemies
Citizen Kane
The Crossing Guard
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
2001: A Space Odyssey (sorry, I just didn’t get it)
Citizen Kane
Wall-E (only because it was at 4am after a day in Vegas, and I was beat)
I agree with a lot of these, but there are several of them I’ve watched more than once … mostly because I like movies that make me feel like crap.
Also, Sixth Sense should be on here. Someone gave it to me, thus I own it, and I’ve still only seen it once.
A lot of those movies I’ve seen more than once. I usually watch Schindler’s List in wet clothing.
I loved “Pan’s Labyrinth”, but have only watched it once. Horribly bleak.
The Mighty Feklahr is certain few will argue with “Schindler’s List”? Either way, He will wait for Erswi to make the Req For a Dream joke.
A list with such a specific concept is impossible to perfect, however I think Birth of a Nation has finally found a list that it belongs to other than HOLY CRAP THIS MOVIE IS RACIST
I remember watching that in Film History and just turning to my girlfriend and saying, “….seriously?”
The Grey, The Wall, and Pi are missing.
dude… wtf? this was supposed to be in response to a comment i left that is now gone. uproxx…. are you fuckin’ with me right now?
I’ve seen American History X a shit ton o’ times.
I think Irreversible and Funny Games are a good inclusion. Martyrs I would totally watch again, but really only if I was gonna watch with someone who has never seen it.
Actually, I’d watch Irreversible and Funny Games again too.
Not exactly “great,” but hyped, Brokeback Mountain.
I meant to say I’d watch Irreversible and Funny Games again if I was watching them with someone who hadn’t seen them too, as I had said with Martyrs.
You sound like the go-to for Friday Night Movie Night.
French New Wave and experimental films make me want to put a gun in my mouth. I don’t care if it makes me seem uncultured, I’ll take a good ol’ Marvel movie over anything Jean Renoir shat out and called art.
And who the hell has only seen American History X once? Everyone, and I mean everyone, has seen the curbstomping scene at least 4 times.
Truth.
Never seen it…sorry dude!
I recently had to watch Un Chien Andalou several times for a Philosophy of Film class, and it’s pretty painful.I kind of think that was the point, though.
Does this mean there are people out there that have seen Amores Perros more than once? Like…on purpose?
Masochists.
Oh, shit. Poor Frijole. I’m about to lose it. I forget, did anyone mention Amores Perros in the tearjerker post?
Honorable mentions:
Any Given Sunday
There Will be Blood
Most Pixar films (unless you have a kid…then that’s ALL YOU F*CKING WATCH)
Platoon (too sad to watch more than once)
Any Given Sunday is an automatic ‘That’ll do.’ if I come across it while channel hopping.
If i watch it once how the hell am I supposed to memorize Pacino’s speech? Cmon now.
Will watch TWBB anytime.
I think this list is for decent to possibly great movies that either have horrible endings or were just rediculously depressing…And if that is at least part of the criterea then how are “Requiem” and “Kids” not on there.
Oh Kids, staple of my youth. I still catch myself singing ‘I have no legs, I have no legs’ to myself from time to time, but I’d almost forgotten where it came from.
and slapping my dong on the my legs back and forth
I watched Kids in a media studies class. We had no idea what we were in for.
When are they gonna put Telly and McLovin’ in a movie together? Hijnks are bound to ensue!
C’mon who doesn’t watch The Machinist once a month. Or as I call it, Thinspiration.
Should be an age limit. I watched Ernest Goes to Camp a million times when I was younger, but now once is way more than enough to last a few hundred years.
Meh. I found the tenth installment of the American History franchise to be a bit predictable. Only watched once.
I felt the same way about Malcolm X. I was also confused that there was no tie in to Malcolm in the Middle.
Great list. I’ve seen “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” about a dozen times and it gets more bleak every time I watch it.
No mention of “Dear Zachary”? That movie made me cry more than John Boehner at an American Flag retirement.
slow clap
I don’t think my heart could take watching Biutiful more than once. That movie crushed me for days.
I could only watch Martyrs once, because it is absolute dogshit.
If a film pretends to be some weighty food for thought affair, and then spends much of the film building up to something, it had better pull it off successfully with some sort of satisfactory conclusion, otherwise its many flaws will be even more noticeable and irritating.
This list should be two titles long. Requiem for a Dream & Irreversible.
I didn’t make it more than a half hour into Requiem for a Dream, it felt like I was watching a video for a 90s indie band long before anything horrible happened. Irreversible gets really boring in the second half, it’s almost like it’s some film school cheap trick trying to guilt you out for finding the first half so funny.
Some movies dont need to be watched more than once because they just stay with you, Straw Dogs is a great example of that. So is Convoy but for different reasons.
Grave of the Fireflies is the only movie on that list that I’ve seen several times.
I’ve seen some of those movies more than once, so, obviously, that means the whole list is invalid.
I fucking hated Elephant, it should’ve been called “Elephant with its head up its own ass”.
It should have been a 5 second film. Just a shot of a long hallway and then a kid in trench-coat holding a gun, jumps in front of the camera and screams “ELEPHANT”. END.
I’d watch that again.
Vince, how sure are you that this isn’t Armond White’s netflix queue?
Battleship Potemkin….Holla
Awesome
Winner.
Requiem and American History X have been the staples of my family’s annual Christmas double feature for years now.
uhhh lawrence of arabia? I will not watch a sprawling desert landscape for 20 minutes again.
But you sat through all of Lawrence of a Labia?
Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking is what Liam Neeson would look like if he was from Arkansas.
Liam Neeson as hillbilly:
[www.cineplex.com]
I watch Audition at least once a year, more often if i get the chance. Funny Games and Martyrs are also ones that I enjoy and have watched multiple times. I think I may consider this list my new “movies I have to see because I am a sick fuck” list.
Except Elephant.
I AGREE WITH EVERYONE HERE.
YOU’RE AN OKAY DUDE.
I CONCUR.
This list sucks, but then again so does Reddit.
I should have just given Reddit’s mom VD and called it a day when I had that chance.
I’ve only seen a few of these movies, and I must admit the ones I’ve seen, I’ve only seen once. Though I’ve seen pieces of AHX a few times on cable, and I would like to watch The Machinist again. Actually, I’ve watched The Seventh Seal twice — once in Intro to Film, and once in a course on Ingmar Bergman. And I think I’ve watched Grave of the Fireflies twice. What a depressing film.
The only movie I’ll never see again is Avatar.
That’s a pretty comprehensive list. I would also put Pi on there as well, you watched the movie to get film buff cred but I don’t think anyone I know watched it more than twice.
I own like 10 movies on that list (yes, I happen to find misery and misfortune entertaining).
One movie that should be on that list is Hunger, starring the Assbender. Not even I will watch that twice.
Jeez, thanks for reminding me of the Most Depressing Movies Ever.
btw Sátántangó you can only watch once because it’s so fricking long that you’d die of old age halfway thru a second viewing.
I’ve only seen American History X and Dead Man Walking. Saw Dead Man Walking the once, however, I’ve seen American History X numerous times.
I wouldn’t put a lot of those movies on a greatest films list. I don’t know why 2001 isn’t on the list. I still have never made it through 2001. It puts me to sleep in 10-15 minutes, and then I wake up for the trippy last half hour. I’ve seen a handful of those films more than once. Weird thing is I love well done depressing and slow films. I own Dead Man (Johnny Depp) and There Will be Blood and I watch those every now and again. Clooney Solaris was great and I liked Sunshine too. So go figure.
You should really give 2001 a serious chance then read up on it. It’s seriously interesting. Kubrick was the man.
Good point, Olayer. I remember only really “getting” 2001 after I had read the book as well. Then it made so much more sense to me.
I actually have never read the book. When I said read up I was thinking more along the lines of popular interpretations (because I couldn’t come up with my own) I found big black slabs of marble, endless eerie moaning and 10 minutes of flying colors pretty confusing.
When ever I see it on, like the first time I watched it, I still think in an exasperated manner, “Oh God…” but I’m compelled to watch.
The IBM conspiracy is interesting as well.
I second the list of Great movies you fell asleep trying to watch. I still havent been able to get through Butch Cassidy and The Sundance kid, because its such a quiet and boring movie.
As for this list, no Midnight Cowboy? Great movie, powerful and moving, and terribly bleak…Im glad I watched it, but geez, I think once is enough for at least five years.
You shut your whore mouth about Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Of all the ones i have seen, its been more than once. The only addition I would make is Mysterious Skin with JGL. He should have at the very least been nominated for an oscar that year. I just grabbed it on a whim because i knew some of the actors and almost had to turn it off a few times throughout. Still a great movie though, but i definetly will never watch it again.
i hate to admit this, but I fell asleep the first time I saw the Matrix. However it should be noted I was watching a bootleg vhs tape of it back in 1999 when it was still in theaters. Also, I think I fell asleep right when Neo entered the real world. The world around him was so dark, and I couldn’t see a damn thing already, so I lost it.
Come to think of it, I also fell asleep the first time I saw Pyscho. Twice. First I fell asleep during the conversation at dinner between Perkins and Leigh. Of course the music strings during the shower scene made me jump outta unconsciousness. Then I fell asleep a little after that, only to be scared to death waking up AGAIN when the music kicked in a second time at the end for the big reveal. And if the loud music from the strings wasn’t enough to scare me awake…
…the image of that skeleton greeting my eyes the moment I woke up sure as hell was.
Ive seen Requiem and Machinist WAY too many times
C’mon now that hot shower scene in Elephant is worth a second viewing! Ahhhhh-wooooo-gaaahhhh
But I guess I have to agree a little since other than American History X and Schindler’s List, the movies I have seen on this list I’ve only watched once… hm.. I guess that would look good on an application for the Aryan Brotherhood. Fuck.
I wouldn’t call it “great”, but I saw Martha Marcy May Marlene and I NEVER want to see it again. *shudder*
The Pianist. Great and impossible to watch more than once.
I dunno, I’ve watching it at least a dozen times. Just because the acting in it is so fantastically done…it outshines the fact that it was directed by a perv.
Cache anyone? Fuck your artistic message Haneke, give me resolution to the vague 2 hours I just sat through. Cinematic blue balls.
Fuck, sorry Fek. I am late as shit to this ass to ass party.
Definitely seen Martyrs more than once.
Also, The Seventh Seal rules.
As much as I enjoyed Eastern Promises I would add that to the list. Unless watching the bathhouse fight scene counts.
I love that photo of Penn strapped to the death table.
I want to make a snide comment about Blair Witch, but it’s not 1999. I love some of these movies and watch them all the time. I’ve watched Irreversible several times, but outside the tunnel scene and the arm-breaking at the beginning I remember nothing. I hate to admit it, but I just don’t care enough for the art or skill or whatever to be able to sit and watch most of these films. Realizing that Requiem for a Dream, which I used to watch all the time, could be about my family finally made me stop watching it. That’s all.
The Ring.
this list is from TOTALFILM
[www.totalfilm.com]
not some bullshit reddit user.
I didn’t say it came from a Reddit user, I said it came from RedForward and hit the front page of Reddit. I don’t know what RedForward is, or why a TotalFilm article has a RedForward frame around it:
[www.redforward.com]
But thanks for the direct link.
Nothing good came out of the Blair Witch Project, or out of me when I tried to watch it and got nauseous.
I’ve seen several of these at least twice. Schindler’s List, American History X, Gone With the Wind, I’ve lost count. I’d watch the Machinist more than once mainly because I thought that movie was awesome. It’s just never on and I don’t own it. -_- Sadly, I’d include Wall-E. I’ve watched it several times but rarely finish it because it makes me good to sleep. I love it, but it’s such a sleeping pill for me.
“The Seventh Continent” by Michael ‘Funny Games” Haneke.
An entire family (including lil’ kids) commits suicide, based on a true story. FIN.
Requiem For A Dream.
But no, because of that “ass to ass” scene.
wow! How no “There Will Be Blood”???? Probably the greatest movie ever that I don’t have a desire to watch again