By now you’ve probably seen this picture of all the different configurations in which Jack could’ve fit on that goddamned plank at the end of Titanic. It’s been going around Tumblr and all the viral picture sites for a few months now (if you know who the original source was, let me know), and James Cameron is finally weighing in on this notorious plot hole.
“It’s not a question of room; it’s a question of buoyancy. Jack puts Rose on the raft, then he gets on the raft — He’s not an idiot; he doesn’t want to die — and then the raft sinks. So it’s clear that there’s really only enough buoyancy available for one person. So, he makes a decision to let her be that person.” [IGN via Vulture]
You can see the video below. I’ve always said, James Cameron’s movies may be cheesy, but they’re not illogical or full of holes. He may not have the greatest taste, but he’s not a hack or a dumbass like McG or Brett Ratner, who would never bother to consider this kind of stuff. If anything, James Cameron is the exact opposite, an OCD engineer type who goes to great pains to verify that all the dorky minutiae of his movie is going to be consistent, because he’s exactly the type of guy who sees a movie and wants to delve into its dorky minutiae. Let’s not forget, he invents new types of camera rigs and dives to the bottom of the ocean for fun. He also hunts hookers for sport on his yacht parked in international waters, but that’s more of a rich-guy thing than it is an engineer-guy thing.
For me, the big question isn’t so much whether Jack and Rose would’ve really fit on that plank, it’s whether those deep-sea salvage guys went right back after that jillion-dollar necklace after the old bitch just threw it in the ocean like a dumbass.
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Jack had to die. He should have gone down with the ship sipping brandy in a tux like those pimps from the first class cabin.
Eh, I’m guessing that most folks knew it was a buoyancy issue, and just reeeeaaaaally wanted to make fun of that whole cheesetastic scene anyway.
These are the same people that think calling Avatar “Dances with Smurfs” is the funniest fucking thing, like, EVER.
I think you’re giving people too much credit. People are stupid and like to ignore/ or don’t have the knowledge of common things like basic physics and make stupid diagrams like this because they believe they’re clever and cutesy. I guess it’s a good thing to have it laid to rest by the guy who directed it, but another thing to ask ourselves “Why are we having this discussion?”. Because of the people who think they’re cutesy. They live trite and meaningless lives, and they are very bad people.
@dontplaydead27: bitter and angry, party of one, your table under the bridge is ready.
I think Al Gore invented the internet so it would tear us apart on important issues like this.
Seems to me that Jack and Rose should have gone looking for a big wooden floor and some tape.
+1
Buoyancy? I couldn’t get two drunk teenagers into my canoe last weekend and they were stepping off a dock. Cameron knows what I’m talking about. F**kn’ buoyancy.
Jay Z knows what I’m talking about. Fuckn’** Beyonce.
Hasn’t Jay Z made it abundantly clear that a bitch is not one of his many problems?
Patty, I think larry meant making love to beyonce
Haha, I don’t understand rap music.
Shop – hey, who hasn’t had some trouble luring drunk teens into a nappy dugout before?
That’s what I’m sayin’, Lobster. Stability!
And gawdammit, Patty. Well played.
Oh, wait…the teenagers were conscious? Well, there’s your problem right there.
Is buoyancy the explanation for everybody saying Jack and Rose so many times? Explain that shit, science.
Word is, Winslet had to “audtion” by putting on a bikini and washing Cameron’s full-scale replica of the ship.
You 3D mo-cap your presentation to James Cameron or GTFO.
I would have made a raft out of the already frozen bodies all around me. Take that death.
Yeah! Or maybe any of the other debris. It’s not as though they ran out of junk floating in the water.
Seriously, there was so much junk floating in the water it looked like a hot tub at a fraternity party. Of course the ocean had less crabs.
I think that was in the sequel; Jack suddenly appears surfing the crest of a wave to safety on a board made of frozen Billy Zane.
I… I don’t know what to say to that, its brilliant.
Cue flood of videos showing an oak raft handling 300 lbs just fine in three…
Two..
One…
Who is Cameran?
It’s Hollywood shorthand for the guy that films the movie.
(“Hollywood shorthand” is another term for drunken slurring.)
Forget this played out meme business; I wanna hear Cameron publicly address that he put that guy hitting his head when he falls off the ship (and flips a whole bunch before hitting the water) just so every bored guy who got dragged into that theatre would laugh until his girlfriend/mother elbowed him in the ribs
*Recalls dude’s awesome gong noise when hitting prop, giggles uncontrollably*
That’s some great foley editing right there.
One of the things I’ve always liked about James’ movies was his geeky attention to detail, keeps my geeky attention to detail from pulling me out of a movie when something defies physics or logic.
That being said, hey James, way to fuck up the audio effects for the airships in Avatar by using the sound of a UH-1. Those vehicles clearly had a faster rotor beat than that, ya fackin hack!
‘Twas the Pandoran atmosphere distorting the sound!
Rose killed Jack the minute she got out of the life boat. She would have been in the boat and he would have been on the wood. You think she would have felt guilty about that. Did Cameron leave that for the extended DVD version of “Titanic”?
Spoiler alert! The ship sinks in the end.
Ermh, they couldn’t take turns on the wood? I mean.. they could…
All I want to know is if Jack used a sheepskin condom when he banged Rose. If not, this movie offends my sensibilities.
The only way I’ll ever watch this again is if the next edition merges The Raft segment from Creepshow 2 into the end.
Re-watching Titanic recently (it was on HBO and someone who was with us had never seen it so we wanted to see if she’d cry at the end) it really struck me how much Cameron’s Aliens sensibilities came through when Rose is trying to find something to help Jack with his handcuffs. Creepy boat groaning noises, the lights flickering and then briefly going off. The close up of Rose with heavy, scared breathing.
He also hunts hookers for sport on his yacht parked in international waters, but that’s more of a rich-guy thing than it is an engineer-guy thing.
Hooker Hunting 201 is the only A i ever got in engineering school. Please don’t take that away from me.
Absolutely none of this explains why she didn’t give him her life vest.
Well let’s face it. Roses clinging vine, smothering neediness drove Jack to kill himself because he knew he’d never be able to get rid of her.
Paddle around to all the dead bodies take their life jackets (and hers) put them under the “raft” to stabilize it. Both get on. He lives. But NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Of course he had to die. She has no room in her life for a man. They are only good for cheatin’ on and stealing from. And they deserve it. “So what if they spent a million dollars and took great risks to find that diamond (that didn’t belong to me)? I’m a liberated woman and I can do what I want!” That is why this was the biggest grossing chic flic ever. They can all identify with her.
“James Cameron’s movies may be cheesy, but they’re not illogical or full of holes.” What?
Seriously, what?
You say that to me, in a movie like Avatar where the plot is thin as paper, dumb as nails, and the characters can all be described in three words or less with almost no change for anyone outside of the main character?
You got some ‘splainin to do, sir.
“I’ve always said, James Cameron’s movies may be cheesy, but they’re not illogical or full of holes. He may not have the greatest taste, but he’s not a hack or a dumbass like McG or Brett Ratner, who would never bother to consider this kind of stuff. If anything, James Cameron is the exact opposite, an OCD engineer type who goes to great pains to verify that all the dorky minutiae of his movie is going to be consistent, because he’s exactly the type of guy who sees a movie and wants to delve into its dorky minutiae.”
Cameron is certainly a great entertainment director, but to claim his movies are always internally consistent and without plot holes is simply admitting to not paying attention due to being well entertained.
Whether it’s his black widow fantasies in Terminator and Titanic or the Noble Savage myth in Avatar, if Cameron pays attention to details, it’s only to further his own warped reality stories that don’t really make sense to begin with. That only Rose fit on the plank is all good and well, but why did she end up there with Jack dying in the water to begin with? Because it just made sense for the girl to kill her lover?
None of the things you guys have described are holes. The noble savage myth is a trope, a cliche – cheesy, but not a hole. Don’t mistake me saying that they’re mostly consistent with me saying they’re good.