Speaking of movies doomed by association from the start, here’s Hugh Jackman (more like HUGE JACKEDMAN, AMIRIGHT) in the first publicity still from The Wolverine Saga: Retracting Knives Part 2 or whatever it’s called. 2009′s X-Men Origins: Wolverine was directed by Gavin Hood and was almost universally reviled as a box of farts dipped in puke, but this one’s directed by James Mangold (3:10 to Yuma) who sounded like a lot more attractive choice before he directed Knight & Day, but who knows. It opens July 2013.
If anything, this peek at 20th Century Fox’s The Wolverine distances itself from the goofier, gaudier tone of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” which everyone would prefer to forget happened. This movie will instead start from a new page, with an international-heavy cast that includes Svetlana Khodchenkova as Viper, Hiroyuki Sanada as gang boss Shingen, Tao Okamoto as his daughter Mariko, Rila Fukushima as assassin Yukio, Hal Yamanouchi as gangster Yashida, Will Yun Lee as villain Silver Samurai and Brian Tee as a corrupt politician. And in case it wasn’t obvious, yes, this story is set in Japan. [ThePlaylist]
Pff, whatever, if I shaved my arms and didn’t drink water for a couple weeks I’d look exactly like that. Hugh probably just wanted his arms all veiny like that so he could feel what it’s like to be hugged by two giant penises. I kid, I kid!
Here’s the full version. Is he getting attacked by a smoke monster? Spoiler alert?
And just because this always makes me laugh:
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Wolverine-Tripod-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/JenniferLawrence-Mystique-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Iron-Man-3-Robert-Downey-150x150.jpg)
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I can’t wait for the prequel when he stops working out so hard.
It can’t be any worse than the last one.
Then again, everybody said the same thing after X-3.
And they were right. X-Men: First Class was pretty good. We do not speak of the supposed existing Wolverine movie. Someone made the joke already but … this one is called “Wolverine: The first one. No seriously, what sequel? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
So are they not even trying to make Hugh Jackman look straight anymore?
When were they trying. He has always been a dandy Wolverine.
“a box of farts dipped in puke.”
you know, the one thing I like about Vince’s erudite wordplay is that it isn’t.
Will Yun Lee as villain Silver Samurai and Brian Tee as a corrupt politician
Gedde Watanabe as the sidekick, “Mathemagician”! (Get it, because Asians are like MAGIC with math! Guy’cha!)
“Slope/intercept form? YOU’RE SO STUPID!”
I hope this movie doesn’t further the stereotype that Asians have small vein-y penis arms
Tee Hee “Slope”.
Is that Wolverine, or is that the Lust victim from Se7en reimagined as a fist fucker?
Looks like Topher Grace on steroids.
In a recent radio interview Ryan Lochte’s sister described Wolverine’s claw noises as “Schinky”
Fox really should just admit they suck at superhero movies and renounce their licenses so that Marvel can have it’s characters back.
100 bucks says the movie kicks off with Wolverine working in a quiet Japanese town as a sushi chef.
Dibs on someone threatening him with a samurai sword before he reveals the claws and says something grunty.
Wolverine definitely looks like a huge fan of raw-man noodles.
wolverine should have been jason statham…its only because of hugh’s mutton chops and hairline that he was picked. can u imagine an angry jason statham stabbing a guy with his fist forks and faking a canadian accent? awesome….and mutton chops is now my new favorite thing to type.
Len Wein, co-creator of Wolverine, said: “When I got my first glimpse of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, my breath caught. In that single instant, he was Wolverine.” and no one knows a character as well as its creator, who sees ‘something else’ in it like The Hammer, Eddie Baby, Vince Mancini and similar, has the same sad problem of ugly women with inferiority complexes watching Angelina Jolie, it’s hilarious and pathetic at the same time.
I can’t speak for the others, but I was just having fun not being an uptight nerd. But I wouldn’t presume to know as much about ugly women as someone who was raised by your mom.