Last we heard about Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master, inspired by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, Anderson had already shown the film to Lord Xenu’s greatest living enemy Tom Cruise and gotten his blessing. But Scientology is nothing if not a cult of insane weirdos, and it turns out they aren’t all okay with it. Apparently The Weinstein Company (who’s distributing the film) have been getting harassed and receiving weird phone calls, prompting Harvey Weinstein to hire additional security guards.
Even though Anderson and star Philip Seymour Hoffman insist in interviews their film isn’t about the controversial religion, sources say Scientologists have been “inundating” the distributor, The Weinstein Co., with strange calls objecting to the film and are concocting plans to combat it when the film is released this week. “The Master” stars Hoffman as an enigmatic church leader and Joaquin Phoenix as an early disciple.
Sources tell Page Six that Scientology is countering the film’s marketing by running its own ads promoting its message in places where ads and stories about “The Master” appear.
Calls and mail from people believed to be Scientologists to Weinstein’s office have grown numerous enough that some on the film’s team have hired extra security, a source said. Weinstein had already been under close guard following a recent attempt to blackmail him by a man unrelated to the film. [NY Post]
Oooh, calls and mail, scary! Yeah, this one smacks of publicity stunt to me. A lot of us were hoping for some controversy between The Master and the notoriously litigious Church of Scientology, and maybe after that disappointing story about Cruise saying he was cool with the film, Weinstein is trying to provide it. I have a hard time believing Harvey Weinstein is scared of a few phone calls. I’ve heard Harvey Weinstein can choke you through the phone using only his mind, and when you wake up, all the money in your wallet is gone. He swallows rotisserie chickens whole and spits out the bones in baseball-sized pellets. Nothing scares that guy, he’s like Darth Vader and Jabba the Hutt combined, with more body hair.
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I bet a good deal of those calls were made by Scientologist and My Name Is Earl co-star Ethan Suplee, desperately looking for work.
Well, can you blame him? Poor guy can only stare at Magic Eye posters for so long.
I heard Weinstein’s tears can cure stupidity, but unfortunately Chuck Norris’s anti-bodies fought it off.
Scientologists are not violent because they know the alien soul within you will be punished for a thousand years for causing you to question their beliefs. Thats enough for their peace of mind.
They’d probably like to avoid a sequel to Project Chanology
Meanwhile, somewhere in the Caribbean on-board the MV Freewinds, a debate is raging amongst the members of Sea Org in regards to whether the proper cinematic response to this movie is threatening to greenlight Battlefield Earth 2.
I am so very disappointed in the lack of Scientology drama thus far.
Surely some crazypants individual will start crap at some point.
Honestly I think they are teying not to comment on it so that the movie doesn’t get validated. Its also different enough that they again can’t sue without revealing things about themselves so they have to just sit there and take it.
I hope our old friend Sher shows up in a few days to comment on old posts, and harass Patty some more.
[profile.uproxx.com]
Aw, I miss Sher.
Sher you do.
I imagine the interview process for the job was something a la Aldo Raine in Inglorious Bastards:
My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I’m putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y’all might’ve heard rumors about The Master. Well, we screened it a little early.
We’re gonna be bombarded by phone calls, angry letters and refused service at rehabilitation clinics. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin’ guerrilla army, we’re gonna be doin’ one thing and one thing only… killin’ Thetans.
Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I sure as hell didn’t come down from the goddamn Hollywood Hills, kill a dozen hobos, fight my way through North Hollywood and snort enough coke to kill an elephant to teach the Scientologists lessons in humanity. Xenu ain’t got no humanity.
They’re the foot soldiers of a science fiction writin’, psychiatry denyin’ maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That’s why any and every every son of a bitch we find giving an e-meter test in public, they’re gonna die. Now, I’m the direct descendant of the Bear Jew. That means I got a little grizzly in me. And our battle plan will be that of an adverse PR campaign.
We will be cruel to the Scientologists, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the Hollywood reporter, Page Six and on billboards along the 405. And the Scientologists won’t not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives.
And the thetans will be sickened by us, and the thetans will talk about us, and the thetans will fear us. And when the thetans closes their eyes at night and they’re tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good?
+100 Thetan Scalps.
They showed the threatening letters to Joaquin Phoenix but all he could comment about the authors was: “Pussy”
Travolta’s initial response went like this: “Ehr dhh nuh agggrr whh dhh figgl phhtrylll uh scuhhruhhthgggy.”
When the reporter asked him to please clarify, he reluctantly removed his co-pilots dick from his mouth and said, “I do not agree with this film’s portrayal of Scientology.”
Actually this make sense.
Calls and mail? Since when did Scientologists become disgruntled Canadians?
Harvey Weinstein is no fool. If his company did receive threats and harassing phone calls and letters ( which I have no doubt they did ), he would be hiring the security to protect his staff, their family and his family. Why? Because the experience of many others has proven that these are the targets Scientology PIs and uber dedicated scientologists go after when they believe their church is being ‘attacked’. Anyone critical is considered an enemy. Google Scientology + Fair Game and see for yourself.. Good for Harvey.
BTW, loved your article.