
Chicks demand their own versions of everything now – voting, the WNBA, rights – and since we bros can’t have anything of our own anymore, girls are getting their own Expendables now too. They’ll probably have to take money away from guy movies to make it too because of Title IX. F*ckin Obama.
As “Haywire” star Gina Carano continues to establish herself as an action heroine with an upcoming turn in “The Fast and the Furious 6,” the former MMA fighter has become attached to topline an all-female riff on “The Expendables,” which is being set up by Adi Shankar’s banner 1984 Private Defense Contractors.
Dutch Southern, who wrote the 2010 Black List script “Hoof Harrington’s Greatest Hits,” was tapped to write the estrogen-powered action pic back in August, just as “The Expendables 2″ was opening atop the box office.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to make a movie that is supposed to be the female version of ‘The Expendables’ without Gina Carano in it. It would be like making Twix without caramel or Jamba Juice without jamba,” said Shankar, whose shingle recently co-produced Joe Carnahan’s “The Grey,” Pete Travis’ “Dredd 3D,” Andrew Dominik’s upcoming Brad Pitt-starrer “Killing Them Softly” and the viral Internet hit “The Punisher: Dirty Laundry,” starring Thomas Jane. In addition to a key role in “The Fast and the Furious 6,” Carano is also attached to star in John Stockwell’s “Taken”-esque action-thriller “In the Blood.” [Variety]
Ha, “In the Blood.” It’s like Taken but with periods. “What I do have is a particular set of irrational emotions…”
So, I suppose the question still remains – what do we call an all-female Expendables? The Chickspendables? The Expoondables? The Expendabewbs? The Sandwich Squad? And do they fight bad guys, or do they just get all hysterical and cry until the bad guys break down and give them what they want? One thing is for certain, it better star Michelle Rodriguez. No one is a more hardcore Latina than Michelle Rodriguez. And maybe Judi Dench as the gruff, foul-mouthed elder stateswoman. She and Gina could do an homage to that scene in Predator – what’s da matta, CIA got you pushing too many pencils? – but instead of arm wrestling, maybe they just make out for a bit. And it would be classy cause she’s British.

\obligatory Gina gif.



Not sure why this would qualify as a “female version of The Expendables,” since that gimmick was “old action-movie stars reunited.” A femme equivalent would have to have Cynthia Rothrock, Lynda Carter, Angela Mao, Maggie Cheung, Michelle Yeoh, Pam Grier, etc.
This would be more like Charlie’s Angels (Except Actually Good).
Sigourney Weaver, man! Ripley was fucking inspired.
You had me at Cynthia Rothrock.
This is the best idea ever. And thus won’t ever make it beyond this forum.
What about Linda Hamilton?
The Scissor Sisters
YES
I’m still waiting for Paul Blart in The Expandables.
We’re like two pees in a pod.
I still don’t know why my joke about the senior-citizens action film called “The Depends-ables” never caught on.
^ Because the inevitable Expendables 5 will be exactly the same film that that would’ve been.
If they made one with Melissa McCarthy and Rebel Wilson it would be called The Expandables.
The Ex-Subjugatables?
THIS
The Ex-Bendables
Oh, I would totally watch this version.
Sorry to break the news to you, brother, but Nell Carter died nine years ago.
/pours two oz.
The Sexploitables – This time it’s personable.
The Ex-spongeables
Are you sponge-worthy?
“It’s the time of the month…for revenge”
Gina Carano is 30. A little young to be expendable isn’t it? I mean, outside of porn maybe.
This shit’s got Cynthia Rothrock written all over it!
Damn you Rawhead! I guess I’m not the only one that was hooked on the Cinemax Action Packed Weekend back in the early 90s.
this instead
[wizbangblog.com]
Here ya go.
I immediately thought of John Mulaney’s bit on a female Ocean’s 11-esque heist film. The gist is that it wouldn’t work because two of the women would keep breaking off and talking shit about the rest of the group.
… It’s funny ’cause it’s true.
And their cover would be blown when they all had to go to the bathroom at once.
I’m not really up on MMA… Did Gina Carano fight a cyborg?
Instead of making Bridesmaids 2 as some crappy reboot like The Hangover 2, they should combine it with this idea. “One of the bridesmaids is abducted on the eve of HER wedding! Since Liam Neeson is busy making Taken 2 (aka Taken Aback), the ‘gals’ have to become a rough ‘n tough commando squad themselves to save their friend from a fate worse than death! Action AND Hilarity result!”
As long as the bad guy’s played by Chris Brown, this film has my money.
You mean “Chris Brown: American Superhero?”
[www.youtube.com]
The T and A Team.
YES!
Kathleen Turner as the grizzled, old, cigar smoking, ex soldier and team leader or GTFO!
First of all: Yes to everything Gina ever.
Second: I would argue Dredd 3D was a chick action movie as the main villian, superior judge, and psychic chicks were all kick ass and actually had characterization to Dredd’s faceless male. Also the females were super no nonsense ass kickers and ball biters.
Gina’s Tupperware party gets sexy in Where the Boys Aren’t.
The only way you’d get enough chicks together to form a willing attack squad would be if Baby Goose was surrounded by mean people.
Am I the only one that finds that Gina lip-biting gif about the hottest SFW gif ever?
I’d tune in for 30 or 40 seconds… I am with you HLAM, it is hawt…
Thirded. Every time I see it I find myself heading into a reverie in which she rescues me from ninjas…
Please don’t be the WNBA of action movies. Please don’t be the WNBA of action movies. Please don’t be the WNBA of action movies…
Please Gina, sit on my face. But i got something to choke you out with. gnomesayin?
gnomesayin? i’m talking about BLOWJOBS
The Sexpendables.
As an aside, I found Haywire to be fantastic.
The NotRefundables…
The Ex-Wonderbras…(I tried)
‘The Blob’
The ladies team up to get that skank who flirted with Trisha’s man in the club last weekend. Bitch think she all that
That guy on the right (above the cat) looks like he wants to murder Gina Carano with a rusty trowel.
What I’m curious about is that guy on the right (above the cat). His expression suggests that Gina Carano killed his parents.
I vote for Chloe Moretz as their spunky up-and-comer.