BROS! This is bigger news than the time Taint and Biscuit almost threw down over Fingerbang Katie at the Phi Delt slave auction! Call up Dozer, Chopsticks, Manson, Steve, Black Steve, and Assf*ck Rich and get them off Dawn Patrol, STAT! Have Mooseknuckle drive his mom’s Benz if you have to, this is important! Start making flyers now, if we don’t blow this up huge, Nationals is going to be PISSED! Spinach didn’t get hazed to death last fall for you to act like bitches!

Entourage creator Doug Ellin is on page 110 of his screenplay and “gonna finish by Sunday (I pray)”, he emails me. Ellin notes that no one wants to see the movie greenlighted by HBO more than the series’ WME packaging agent Ari Emanuel (the prototype for Gold) and executive producers Mark Wahlberg and Steven Levinson. Ellin says that Wahlberg keeps promising “to kill me if I don’t write faster. Every time I see him, Mark says, ‘I’ve made 5 movies this year. Get going!”

He says his script starts about 6 months after the TV series leaves off. “There are interesting developments about Ari as a studio head, and that’s still the first page for me. But foremost is the friendship between the guys who are still hanging out and going to fun parties [OH THANK GOD, I WAS SO WORRIED -Ed.], and it continues with the same characters.” Ellin has kept in touch with all the key castmembers:  Jeremy Piven (“Ari”), Adrian Grenier (“Vince”), Kevin Dillon (“Drama”), and especially Kevin Connolly (“E”) and Jerry Ferrara (Turtle”) who are two of Ellin’s closest friends [possible explanation for how those two charisma vacuums got their jobs in the first place?]. Those Entourage actors have been getting other gigs while HBO has been paying Ellin for the script. [Gigs such as "token white guy in Steve Harvey movie," and "least famous person in ensemble rom-com."]

HBO brass Richard Plepler and Michael Lombardo have cautioned publicly that they’ve only heard “a very general pitch” and need to read the completed script and make deals with the cast before deciding to go forward. Ellin is optimistic. “I’m excited. I feel a lot of positive energy,” he tells me. “Everywhere I go, people ask me, ‘Where’s the movie?’

I’m grateful to Ellin for replacing Variety with Deadline Hollywood as the showbiz must-read. (That Season 6 scene was a shocker when agent Terence says to Ari Gold, “I’ll fuck Nikki Finke before I let her affect my business decisions.”) In fact, Ellin recently emailed: “I have you in a scene currently. The world wants you on camera!” [thereby answering the obvious question, "why is Nikki Finke writing about this?"] [Deadline]

BROS! I know we have the candle light wake party for Nacho and Beefer next week, and then we have the DWI course that HJ Trish is comping our community service hours for, but we TOTALLY have to see this movie opening night. I don’t CARE if we have to move the Pimp-and-Ho Bone Marrow Drive Booze Cruise to finals week, we can NOT miss this sh*t. Also, you can’t go unless you pay me for the spring rush shirts, 20 bucks, but it’s worth it because they say ‘Turn Pike’ which is ironic, because that’s where Nacho and Beefer died. Okay, this boat race is for Nacho and Beefer, AND IF I DON’T HEAR YOU FAGG*TS SINGING LOUD I’M DINGING EVERY ONE OF YOU, I DON’T GIVE A SH*T IF YOU’RE A LEGACY!

[Burnsy and I collaborated on this post, because that's what true bros do]