
That’s right, it’s comments of the week time again. I have shirts for the winners, provided he or she is one of the sizes I still have left, like medium or 3X. I’ll get a new batch printed at some point, but it’s a lot of money and work and if you know daddy, you know that daddy is lazy. In any case, we had another stand-out thread this week, specifically the Indian Hitler Store, in which you guys proved that no one can do Nazi puns like the FilmDrunkards. A sampling:
Stallonewolf: But their clothes are so kampfy!
William Palmer: This store certainly isn’t for the penny pinching types.
William Palmer: I went here for my mitzvah suit, and ended up going to camp as part of a promotional give away.
Whoisthisis: Their striped pyjamas are to die for.
Big_Heat_34: Hitler has a real eye for fascion.
Jessolido: An odd touch having candy & snacks at the front of the store. But sound reasoning behind it – customers Goebbel them right up!
Schultheiss: Their Luftwaffles are simply scrumptious paired with a glass of apple genocider.
Stallonewolf: You can actually find some pretty cute toddler clothes in Hitler Youth
Jesus Chrysler Super Car: I get my child’s clothing at OshKosh B’GAuschwitz.
Ace Rimmer: Casualty Friday is always a riot.
Jesus Chrysler Super Car: Not to be outdone, a man in Jaffna, Sri Lanka is opening a store named Mussolini. But they only sell Blackshirts.
Whoisthisis: The big problem with Mussolini clothing: hang-dry only
Duchess: But they do dry on time
Duchess: Hitler’s… if you can beat our prices I will shoot myself!
Torgo: Store policy is to answer the phone “Hi, Hitler”
Moose:
*phone rings*
HELLO? HELLO? DO YOU DIRTY RAGHEADS CARRY SWEATERS FOR BEAVER PUPPETS?
Wow. That truly brought out the best in you all. That entire thread was so good, I had to go searching for a winner elsewhere.
Your Winners: from the trailer for Dinesh D’Souza’s Obama movie that ends with a family of black people fighting over a Monopoly game while Arab music plays:
AndYouShallKnowMeByTheTrailOfCheezits:
“The son makes it happen, but he candidly admits he is only living out his father’s dream. The invisible father provides the inspiration, and the son dutifully gets the job done. America today is governed by a ghost.”
…If you want to paint him as an America-hating Muslim-type, it probably would be a good idea to not describe him so similarly to Jesus.
And your co-winner, Rawhead Wrecks with the callback in Tyler Perry’s studio is on fire again:
Rawhead Wrecks: Maybe Perry and his crew knocked over a lamp during a Monopoly game brawl.
That slayed me. Your honorable mentions:
From The Avengers opening scene shows New York coping with disaster:
Crapbasket: As the Capt. watched, a cabbie lobbed a half empty Starbucks coffee at a bike messenger on a fixie who had just cut him off and called him a “dumbf*ck tw*t.” A tear slowly fell from his eye as he knew that New York had healed.
From Real-Life Castaway lives with his sex doll on a deserted island:
Jacktion: In anagram news, “Gashleen” would be an awesome name for a sex doll.
From Shia LaBeouf sent his sex tapes to Lars Von Trier:
ChinoMoreno: Two in the pink, none in the stink :(
Aw, because Shia has no pinkie, get it? :-( indeed.
And finally, from Florida man with FAT BOY tattoo punches delivery boy who forgot his garlic knots:
Gracenote Jones: I’ve always used Garlic Knot as the gender opposite of Camel Toe.
That’s not even funny, so much as it is wise. Anyway, thanks for making this all a little more enjoyable to read, you guys.



*fist pump* for the “new guy” COTW co-winner.
*sad face* that, contrary to cruel stereotypes, he is neither a spindly M-sized computer nerd or a husky 3X-size computer nerd.
Congrat’s on your well-earned win.
Worth noting perhaps that the sizes are rather large. If you normally wear an L, there’s a decent chance an M will fit you.
Praised for my wisdom over my comedy. It’s late-90s open mics all over again. Thanks for the nod, folks.
My heart is very full at this moment. My choices now are clear; suicide, because this is obviously my crowning achievement and I shall ne’er surpass it, dying at peace knowing I have bested all comers to reach the pinnacle of this comedic Everest, or: suicide, because I’ve lived a life where this will be my crowning achievement and I shan’t be able to ever afford the dirigible I’ve long desired due to the dirigible manufacturers steadfast refusal to take internet fame and +1s as currency.
Now to either lose 25 lbs. or gain 90 to fit into my prize for the open casket.
I LOLLED an embarrassingly long time at this:
Golden Girls Gone Wild
Thats Hansel, he’s so hot right now.
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Moose
That Indian promised to take Gary on a vision quest, but they always end up at the highlighter section in Office Max.
My new favorite scat poet:
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Tyron Leung: why is bebop and rocksteady krang and Dimension X in this movie and combined with avatar and transformers plot just make the damn mirage comic versions and their adventuers into a movie instead of gleep gloop shity movie is he trying to take joel schumacher place hell i rather watch batman forever and batman and robin in 3d than this pile of shit.
and why do the turtles have parents and other species of there kind they are the only ones that are mutants and there foster father is a rat and how they a race of rats and turtles in that shit living together oh and whats next slash tokka and venus de milo in this retarted movie as well that fucking up there mythology and what they are and there name no wonder peter laird hated this script
Reading this is like taking acid.
*dead* at OshKosh B’GAuschwitz
the Indian Hitler store thread will never be surpassed. my personal favorites:
Jessolido – Superman t-shirts? I did nazi that one coming!
Lamont Cranston – This is outrageous anne frankly I wont stand for it!
Crapbasket – Said the proprietor, “What do you mean Ahmedabad name choice?”
I know I’m probably not supposed to nominate, but holy shit.
Nic Cages T-Rex Skull
He’s about to ride into the bumper farmer’s market.
This is… one of the weirdest comments I have received. It’s rare that I honestly can’t tell if something is spam.
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Sadie Heldberg: I have to say guys, Rob and Kristen are over and the world needs to move on. On to more, important matters namely Cosmopolis. Interesting review Vince, I think the fact that Cronenberg is such a wizard at bringing the bizarre to the surface, is a perfect reason for him to take on the adaptation of Don DeLillo’s book. Although, I will not be able to see “Cosmopolis” in theaters due to my frequent business travel for Dish, I do look forward to having the opportunity to view this movie fairly. Considering my travels are work related, I am always with laptop and internet, so using Dish Online gives me the excuse to watch the movies I don’t have time to see in theaters, being away from home. Besides, with all the controversy surrounding Pattinson, I’m extremely interested in having another chance to see the actor conquer another role; I have hope in the young actor; I’ve seen what he’s capable of.
My frequent work-related travels allow me to utilize Verizon’s lightning-fast 4G service in order to post baby dick comments. Sharing photos of NeverEnding Story abduction vans has never been easier when you’re on the go.
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Patty Boots
Hey girl, my S&M stands for snuggles and a movie.
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I guess it’s actually not that crazy, but the run-on paragraph makes it seem suuuper crazy.
ryan vanemburg: Ok im seriously throwing out an idea. Lets leave the commical tweeks to Stallone once he accepts this, if he does. Instead of trying to lure in every wealthy old action star just to please the majority population, why not twist whats already good. I mean dont get me wrong, lets throw a couple more big names but at the same time, lets show the audiences what they really wanna see. Ok here goes…. in the early 2000′s companies were coming out with VS. movies. Jason vs Freddy, Alien vs Predator etc. Immediately following were overly excessive suggestions like, leprchaun vs Chucky, Michael Myers vs whoever, the list goes on and on. Upon hearing of the 1st Expendables movie, many were talking about who and how each action star would play their part. So lets bring the ideals of many plus the vs concept and make Expendables 3 a possibility. Plot idea…. an unnamed person who takes office after a tight presidential election does what the american peopke have always wanted to see; he pulls our troops out of combat zones across the world and brings them home. After much celebration the clock winds forward to a later time. Years have passed and the enemy forces fought in the multiple conflicts have been depleted to where politics have become the main weapons of destruction. Only a heavily armed unit of soldiers remain highly trained and ready for war. The only thing missing is a leader to guide them. (Heres where storline gets weak because my intel on foreign affairs is sketchy.) Money and power which in any movie is the most destructive force, encourages Arnold Schwarzenegger to turn and become leader of this rogue army (sorry Arnie.) Of course he cant do it alone so….. he bribes several very important people to join his team. As per Expendables 1, Jet Li still isnt making enough money and with the limited involvement of Expendables 2 any back story can be added to encourage his switch. Ok so now we have Stallone vs Schwarzenegger and Statham vs Li. I know some of you reading can imagine the choreography needed to detail those fight scenes. Yes it would be worth it. Now the couple names added in…. lets see a UFC fighter school a WWE star; enter 1 of 2 names Dwayne Johnson, who has made his well earned action title in many films. Or Hulk Hogan. Yes i know its corny but honestly Terry, you need a manly comeback after your reality span. I seriously would have liked to see Michael Clarke Duncan (R.I.P.) play a role. Ok so Randy Couture and whichever wrestling star fits to throw down. I know im leaving gaps but if i wrote the whole idea here it wouldnt be just mine anymore. Anyway i dont wanna overpower the movie idea with nothing but royal rumble concepts. All i can say is there is a way to turn the Expendables franchise into a massively action packed blowout trilogy. If anyone of impotance or anyone has ties to an industry that would be willing to see this come to life please comment positively to mine or contact my email. Movie fans should appreciate at least the attempt im throwing out. I hope those who read this whole comment got some kind of warm and fuzzy on what a 3rd Expendables could do and be like for an explosive end to a great trilogy.
ryan vanemburg:: Also i forgot one piece…. another add-in would be the voice of persuasion that talked Schwarzenegger to turn. A so.eone who doesnt care about money or power. Someone who has a Joker complex and just want to see the world at war. (Insert name) ok people, the ultimate test for this role is finding someone who would give the audience a holy $h!t factor of 10. Someone who make everyone say “no f-ing way!!!!”
Wow. It’s even better if you imagine Jeff Goldblum narrating.
I like this guy.
Strong effort.
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Nage spirit
Chino absolutely killed it in the Cassavetes/Incest post
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(They’re all great but these two stood out the most for me)
I scissor with my sister on Thursdays. #scrapbooking
I had sex with my brother but he was so rough. I did it all for the noogies.
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Jessolido
Remember when you could pop a woman in the noshe like thish if she got out of hand? ‘Bepperidge Farm remembersh!
—
‘Bepperidge Farm. That is all.
C-Tates/New Orleans Thread
Patty Boots
I’m assuming that all the desserts will contain white chocolate.
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I’m really digging these new, more involved spam comments.
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allthatjazzercize
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GlennBeckHasAIDS
The Magic Mike Broadway musical will feature a C-Tates “Holla-gram”
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jangles
THIS +1
Holy fuck, Larry.
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Larry
IrishCream
If we’re letting it roll for this week then I have a couple new ones…
First there was Charlie Br0nze and Larry talking Robocop:
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Charlie Br0nze
H’mm, what about the gun?
Larry
Same gun, held sideways.
/Black Robocop
And the Chino rings in on Pee Wee’s Lincoln redub:
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ChinoMoreno
In the Pee Wee Herman version, it’s Lincoln who does the theater shooting.
It told me this one failed to load!!
IT TOLD ME THIS ONE FAILED TO LOAD!!!!
Ain’t nobody does it better than Chino…
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ChinoMoreno
In the Pee Wee Herman version, it’s Lincoln who does the theater shooting.
Charlie Br0nze and Larry swap Robocop talk…
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Charlie Br0nze
H’mm, what about the gun?
Reply
Profile09.16.12 at 6:12 pm
Larry
Same gun, held sideways.
/Black Robocop
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Stallonewolf
I vant to sniff your butt
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Alcoholics Gratuitous
I will watch Mulan so I know what to expect.
So is this comments of the month now?
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ChinoMoreno
Great. There are gonna be pterodactyl crashes EVERYWHERE.
Racist? Yeah, probably, but it also made me spit out my coffee.
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Stallonewolf: Why would a black man buy a pool anyway? It’s like Superman buying a kryptonite mine.
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ChinoMoreno
Bless that girl.
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Erswi
When 1960s gambit says cher he’s actually talking about Ms. Sonny Bono.
Jihadist?
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XERF: ARTIST OF THIS FILM WAS VERY BAD HE IS BAD THAN A DOG
IF HE IS BEFORE ME THAN I KELLED HI