"Yo Al Qaeda Predator, chiggity check yo self."
With his incredible run of three-consecutive $100 million movies over (unless 10 Years and its $120,000 gross pull off an Octoberfest miracle), Channing Tatum is in need of a super duper blockbuster. While the demand for a re-shoot of his death in GI Joe 2 – moved to 2013 – is a nice touch, it’s still a far cry from what our favorite rec-center-saving-former-stripper deserves. Thankfully, Columbia Pictures knows what we want and the studio has already fast-tracked Roland Emmerich’s White House Down.
Of course, White House Down was actually fast-tracked for a 2013 release because Sony Pictures will release the Hydrox-inspired Olympus Has Fallen (originally White House Taken) in 2014. In fact, here’s a fun game: See if you can guess which plot summary goes with which film.
A former Secret Service agent works to prevent a terrorist attack on the White House.
A Secret Service agent is tasked with saving the life of the U.S. President after the White House is overtaken by a paramilitary group.
The answer? Nobody knows.
But for the record, White House Down is based on a highly-sought-after script, written by James Vanderbilt, and it has Channing Tatum, so it should be perfectly clear that this is the version we will support. Tatum recently stopped by Entertainment Tonight to help build some more buzz for this action film – like it needs it with the awesome storyboards that we exclusively leaked – and I have to admit that I’m dude moist for this.
And normally this is where I’d interject with a message from my dear friend C-Tates, but I am afraid that he is not speaking to me right now, as a result of me saying that Eminem was better than MC Serch. I am trying to rectify this disagreement, and hopefully it will result in another storyboard very soon.
(H/T to /Film)
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I’m sort of disappointed we aren’t hearing from the hardest werkin, twerkin, layin it down playa in…. Wait, you really said Eminem was better than Serch?
dude moist…classic
I just realized this is the second time Duke’s death has been fixed because of studio concerns about the audience reaction to a beloved (actor)’s apparent death. I’m betting that one of the changes is that he shows up at the end. “It was a coma. Thanks Roadblock and crew for saving the world. Next time, I’ll take the lead.” or some shit. Basically, C-Tates will be in GI Joe 3.
As for this, I really, really, really wish Burnsy’s version was the real movie coming out because nothing else can even come close to meeting my expectation for balls-out entertainment after reading these posts.
Ah. I normally wouldn’t presume to tell Burnsy how to do his job, but I was just thinking about those Cintia Dicker Wildfox photos where she’s holding a gun and I am thinking she needs to be added to the cast in some capacity; perhaps as the kickass First Lady who can hold her own after C-Tates rescues her from the terrorists who were holding her next to the White House pool.
I refuse to believe Channing Tatum works from a script. I prefer to think he makes up his lines as he goes along, and the script is written afterwards for everyone else.
To ensure that Mr. Tatum receives all of the propers to which he is entitled, I must note–not only did he put out three consecutives fizzilms that made a buck each, but he did it in three different genres. Romantic, um, comedy?; comedy comedy; strippercentric drama. And we know he can do action. Last 5 tool player like this? Swayze, bitches.
Swayze would rip the fuck out C-Tates throat, though. You don’t fuck with Swayze, yo.
Somehow I don’t remember the Swayze doing much comedy.
I’m not claiming C-Tates has more “range,” unless you can say a blank canvas has more “range” than the Mona Lisa.
“Yo Al Qaeda Predator, chiggity check yo self.”
Fuck, that caption made me laugh out loud at my desk. Nice one.